Men and Women in the 21st Century

I've got to go back to the Facebook thing. I got to talk to one of my best friends in the world tonite. I haven't connected with him in longer than I would like to admit. I remember him standing up in my wedding, traveling all the way from Michigan to be a part of my marriage ceremony. It was as important to him as it was to me. Of course he didn't have to live with her for all these years, but that's another story. As I chatted with my friend Jeff, he told me of his divorce and the pain that he has suffered through. Sucks. That's all I can summon. It just sucks. Jeff loved his wife. He probably still does although that will go away with time and I think he knows that. Noone tried harder to make life happy with his wife. I know that because I know my friend. The problem is society. It always is.

We today are suffering the pains of the past. 30 years ago, our fathers treated their women with no heart at all. They felt if they brought home the bacon and provided finacially for the family, that was the end of it. They struggled with loving their spouses. That's what they knew. That's what their parents taught them. Providing was what they were brought up on. Loving was something that was understood through the money. It still amazes me how men/fathers back in the day when I was young didn't think they had to do anything more than bring enough money into the family to be loved. I spent over 25 years of my life trying to get my father to notice me. I tried to get him to notice that spending time with me playing catch was more important to me than the money he brought home to keep our family going. I never realized the pressure that he was under. If he lost his job, we were screwed. I promised my son today we would play catch and we didn't. After going to the woods, our next door neighbor's son came over and they got to playing. At about 6 o'clock I realized we didn't get to play catch. It really is tough being a dad. I try so hard but sometimes I fall short.

Today, being a dad is dealing with the fact you always feel like you are failing. I always feel like I'm not doing a good enough job. I always feel like I've let him down some way. Maybe it's because I always felt my dad didn't have enough time for me growing up. But given the proper thought, he was dealing with all the work stress as well as dealing with the fact that me, my mom and my three sisters were relying on him to keep us happy.

When I think about it today, I know there were probably many times my dad wanted to tell his boss that he was an arrogant piece of garbage who had to check with corporate every time he had to take a piss, but he didn't because of us. I give him the pass on skipping our catch sessions every once in while. Don't get me wrong, we played catch but not as much as I would've liked as a kid growing up.

Alot of men back then had mistresses. I'm not sure if it was to get something different in the sack than what they were getting at home from their wives or it was just some way to vent stress. Whatever the reason, they had relationships outside of their marriages.

It seems to me today's men are paying for the ways of our forefathers. Women seem to be the ones who have the affairs. Men may stray but it's more than likely some drunken roll in the hay that only lasts for that moment. Women are the ones who have relationships with others outside the marriage. I have a friend who got divorced because he was getting his roof fixed and he came home early one day and found his wife in bed with the roofer! That's messed up. I can tell you he hasn't been the same since.

Marriage relationships are so different than they were 30 years ago. The women's movement fought against the men who were treating their women like submissive yes-women. In reality, it was an open decision by most. Society brought us into a new reality.

Personally, I'm glad women have the freedom and self-image strength to be who they are today. If you notice though, men have less freedom and self-image than ever before.

It seems that men today are paying the debt that our forefathers loaned out. I guarantee more men say, "I'm sorry" today than they did 30 years ago. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, but it would be nice to think that women say, "I'm sorry" the same amount of times, but it just isn't so.

The men of the 21st century will pay the dues for the men of the 50's, 60's and 70's for time to come.

I think we're fine with it. If women want to know us better they should grasp the concept.

Side Note.....I'm sure my wife would be pissed at this blog, but she knows I've been writing it all week and she still hasn't read it. I'm sure the only way she'll read this one is if someone points it out to her. But it doesn't really bother me, because I love her for who she is and reading my shit isn't it.