Life at the Kid's Table

I found out tonite that I'm not in the wedding party. How many times has this come up in your life? Don't get me wrong, I've been in plenty. It just doesn't matter how many people you know who decide to get married there is always that thought in your head...maybe I'll get asked to stand up.

Every time I have stood up in a wedding, I have had a blast. My two favorite Tim's come to mind. Good times.

My sister-in-law recently found the right man....after an exhausted search(sorry Steve). Four months in, my new friend Shaun asked her to marry him. She said yes and all is happy in sister-in-law land. Except for one problem.....

I ask some simple questions. Who was there when your country-ass was scared about asking her to marry you? Who talked you down from the ledge when her kids scared the crap out of you? Who stood tall behind you when you weren't sure she'd say yes? Who befriended you when everyone else thought you were just another flash in the pan? Ooops....was that out loud?

Damn I do that all the time. It's not that I'm bitter about not being asked to stand up in the wedding....it's, it's, it's....I'm bitter about not being asked to stand up in the wedding.

You see....my wife is in the wedding and my children are both in the wedding too....I'm not sure what the hell the kids are doing, but I do know I'm paying for a small dress and a small tux for 5 year olds.

Sure...use my kids to make your wedding special, but don't worry about me....I'm good....I never wanted to be a part of your nuptuals.

Are you starting to feel me? I don't know if you know what it's like to break through the binds that tie in a family like my in-laws.....it's rough. I've been through it. I liked Shaun from the beginning and we have become friends. The cool thing is it wasn't because of effort. It was because we have things in common and he is a genuinely good guy. I have been there for him through the uncomfortable "getting to know everyone" period. He always knew he had a fall back in me.

Now I must put this all in perspective. My sister-in-law, Kathy is having her two sisters stand up. Shaun is having his son from a previous marriage and Kathy's son from a previous marriage stand up with him(apparently I needed to be from a previous marriage to stand up). This is all admirable. But what the heck? Am I chopped liver over here? Everyone in my family is standing up in this freaking wedding but me. I'm going to be at the table in the back of the room with the children who were allowed to come to the wedding because their parents couldn't find or afford a babysitter.

Have you ever been at a wedding where your spouse or date is in the wedding party? It sucks. The conversation at your dinner table is so uncomfortable. "Soooo.....you're close the bride and groom but not close enough to be considered to stand up?"

"No, no that's my entire family up there. Really they like me. It's not just my family they like."

Okay. I realize I'm being selfish. Let me put this out there. Kathy and Shaun are a great couple. Shaun has made my sister a happier and stronger woman than I have ever seen her. They truly are in love and make a great couple because they make each other better people by being together. I love them both and wish nothing but happiness for them in the many years to come.

In the meantime, I guess I'll just enjoy this family-style chicken at the kid's table.