Thinking About the Why?

I've been thinking about why lately. Why do good people pass away. Why do we keep the friendships we have lost. Why do we go the extra mile for our spouses. Why do we forgive our siblings forever and ever. Why?

Why can really mess you up. I can find myself in a why conundrum and feel I must fight myself out. But sometimes fighting my way out is the worst thing I can do. Sometimes just dealing with the why and accepting it as it is can make me a better person. Understanding the why can be uplifting.

I know why I write this blog. I'm an emotional and opinionated person and having the forum to express myself makes me a better person. This is where I get my Tom on. I can tell you that my ability to express myself in this blog has made me an easier person to deal with to the people who deal with me on a day to day basis(they tell me all time how I am so much more easy going than I used to be...which by the way kind of pisses me off......because I've always been a fun loving kind of guy....oh never mind). Apparently, having a venue to vent my thoughts is easier on the people I know than having them hear it from me first hand!

There will be times when I will be asked certain opinions about certain opinionated subjects by people who don't know that I will subject them to the opinionated honesty they don't necessarily want to hear and get what others may describe as destroyed by me. This has become widely known as being....."Tom'd".

I have many friends, acquaintances and family members who have been Tom'd. They don't hold it against me, but they know when it may come and quite frankly they asked for it.

I don't Tom people who don't ask me for my opinion. I don't Tom people who I am just having conversation with about whatever it is they feel the need to discuss.

I only Tom people who ask me for my opinion. I usually say something along the lines of, "Naaah you don't want me to tell you what I think."

But it's like they beg me. I finally get to the point where I tell them the things they don't want to hear. I tell them the real truth behind their problems. Then....they get screaming mad at me and tell my wife I'm a total a-hole and I end up in deep steaming water. Being honest is my deepest fault. It's also what gets me in the most trouble.

My wife continues to ask me, "Why?" I have no answer. I just don't know.

People want you to tell them the truth, but it can hurt them so bad that telling them may hurt you. I'll never not tell a person the truth or at least what I feel is the truth in spite of their feelings. If you ask me, I'm telling you.

I hate it that people call it being Tom'd. But I get that everyone who knows the term knows the honesty behind it. I don't try to hurt people but sometimes you have to hurt them to get through to them.

Why do I write this blog every nite....or almost every nite?

I'm here to tell you, I just don't have any idea! And truth be told neither do you!

But I do know that writing my thoughts out helps me personally because I don't hold everything inside. This blog is a great way for me as a person to expel the anxiety I have within me on this website and it relieves me from expelling it on my family and friends! This is bigger than you can imagine.

I can tell you I love my wife and my children and they are the people that drive me the most crazy in my life. But there is no way I could possibly be a better man without them in my life. The same goes for my sisters and their families.

I don't get the why. But I do get this. I love my wife and my kids and my family and without them I'm not sure why I'd do anything.