Check out this video and then we'll discuss....
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Karaoke Life Is A Different World
I feel I should follow up on my Girls Night Out post from the other nite. Yes, the women went out last nite and yes they had a great time. Also, they dressed to nines(which I really don't know what that means but it seems to fit here). There was a ton of make up and low cut tops and from all reports they had a great time.
I only get snippets of their evening and I really don't want much more but at one point I'm told they were laughing so hard at how one of the women trims her eyebrows. If you read my earlier post this would fall under the category of conversations I don't care to be a part of(but between just us, my sister is probably pissed because she wasn't a part of this conversation because I have never met another person in this universe who is so in tune to eye brow etiquette....that's an inside joke but my sisters will be laughing at this...ride with me here it'll get better)! I'm sure there was more intense conversation among these women but it's not my place to but-in and I chose not to. I understand the ritual.
The stupid part of the whole evening is that I felt compelled to go out as well. I was told, like I posted previously, not to go anywhere near where the women were to be this night.
My future brother-in-law, Shaun and I went out together since our women were doing whatever it was they were doing and we, quite frankly, had nothing better to do......because our women were out doing whatever it is they do during Girls Night Out.
My favorite bar was closed for a private party. I really don't have a second favorite bar. This became a dilemma. We decided to go to a local pub that some of our friends frequent. We had a couple drinks and then the dreaded karaoke began.
The first thing we said was, "Let's go somewhere else, this is gonna be bad." But I must tell you, karaoke is like a bad car accident, you just can't help yourself from looking.
Can someone tell me what motivates people who couldn't carry a tune if it had a shoulder strap to get up in front of an entire bar of people and sing as if they were Barbara Streisand?
15 minutes before the karaoke started a group of people entered the bar. Mind you, Shaun and I were there to basically watch the Blackhawks playoff hockey game. These people all crowded into the area in front of us and started perusing the booklet of songs that were available for them to sing.
I had a thought to myself that well at least they know what is going on here and they probably are looking for a place to showcase their talent. Oh, how wrong I was!
We're trying to watch the hockey game and these people just want to sing. That's all fine and good but could you please sit down and get out of the way.
I start getting the feeling this guy thinks I'm looking at him instead of the hockey game. I tell Shaun that I think this guy over there thinks I'm staring at him, you know, in that way, and Shaun's all caught up singing 99 Louf Balloons with the woman who's singing it karaoke style because he knows German!
I said, "Dude, are you singing 99 Balloons?"
He says, "Uh, yeah is that cool?"
I said, "NO!"....."What in the hell?"
I'm telling you it's like a traffic accident. You can't pull yourself away.
I have to confess. Shaun left to call his fiance' outside and I sat there by myself. The next karaoke singer started singing "Country Road" by John Denver. I know how ridiculous this song is but my sisters had all the John Denver albums when I was growing up and I found myself singing all the words to the song. Car accident.
This guy who was making eyes at me all night long started getting me thinking. He sang Piano Man by Billy Joel and a song called Picture by Cheryl Crowe he did with a woman as a duet and I'm here to tell you he was hoooorrrrrriiiibllllle.
I'm only going to make fun of this guy because he was making eyes at me all night long and I felt we had a connection. By the way, my beautiful wife was at a bar all night with young guys looking at her longingly with her caked on makeup and low cut, cleavage revealing top and I was being solicited by a gay guy who was wearing a sport jacket over a t-shirt!....... I'm not kidding.
I kept telling Shaun that he had to go talk to the guy and ask him about his t-shirt under the sport jacket. Shaun bailed on me. No balls.
After a few shots I approached this guy and asked him about the t-shirt he was wearing. I said, "Dude, that's a great shirt what does it say?"
He said, "I don't know I got it at Marshall's."
I had no idea what he meant. Apparently Marshall's is a place for t-shirts. Is this something I should know? I don't. He showed me the print on it and it had a DKNY insignia on it. I just said, "Cool." And I walked away.
I was trying to get a feel for the mentality of the karaoke crowd.
It wasn't just a sport jacket, it was actually a suit coat with pin stripes. I'm not getting this. Someone needs to help me understand this mentality.
The whole karaoke experience at this bar was eye opening. I don't want to be judgemental but these people were crazed. It was like entering into an alternate universe where nothing was what it seemed.
I'm not sure if I'll ever get the karaoke scene but if they sing John Denver, I'll probably know all the words.
I only get snippets of their evening and I really don't want much more but at one point I'm told they were laughing so hard at how one of the women trims her eyebrows. If you read my earlier post this would fall under the category of conversations I don't care to be a part of(but between just us, my sister is probably pissed because she wasn't a part of this conversation because I have never met another person in this universe who is so in tune to eye brow etiquette....that's an inside joke but my sisters will be laughing at this...ride with me here it'll get better)! I'm sure there was more intense conversation among these women but it's not my place to but-in and I chose not to. I understand the ritual.
The stupid part of the whole evening is that I felt compelled to go out as well. I was told, like I posted previously, not to go anywhere near where the women were to be this night.
My future brother-in-law, Shaun and I went out together since our women were doing whatever it was they were doing and we, quite frankly, had nothing better to do......because our women were out doing whatever it is they do during Girls Night Out.
My favorite bar was closed for a private party. I really don't have a second favorite bar. This became a dilemma. We decided to go to a local pub that some of our friends frequent. We had a couple drinks and then the dreaded karaoke began.
The first thing we said was, "Let's go somewhere else, this is gonna be bad." But I must tell you, karaoke is like a bad car accident, you just can't help yourself from looking.
Can someone tell me what motivates people who couldn't carry a tune if it had a shoulder strap to get up in front of an entire bar of people and sing as if they were Barbara Streisand?
15 minutes before the karaoke started a group of people entered the bar. Mind you, Shaun and I were there to basically watch the Blackhawks playoff hockey game. These people all crowded into the area in front of us and started perusing the booklet of songs that were available for them to sing.
I had a thought to myself that well at least they know what is going on here and they probably are looking for a place to showcase their talent. Oh, how wrong I was!
We're trying to watch the hockey game and these people just want to sing. That's all fine and good but could you please sit down and get out of the way.
I start getting the feeling this guy thinks I'm looking at him instead of the hockey game. I tell Shaun that I think this guy over there thinks I'm staring at him, you know, in that way, and Shaun's all caught up singing 99 Louf Balloons with the woman who's singing it karaoke style because he knows German!
I said, "Dude, are you singing 99 Balloons?"
He says, "Uh, yeah is that cool?"
I said, "NO!"....."What in the hell?"
I'm telling you it's like a traffic accident. You can't pull yourself away.
I have to confess. Shaun left to call his fiance' outside and I sat there by myself. The next karaoke singer started singing "Country Road" by John Denver. I know how ridiculous this song is but my sisters had all the John Denver albums when I was growing up and I found myself singing all the words to the song. Car accident.
This guy who was making eyes at me all night long started getting me thinking. He sang Piano Man by Billy Joel and a song called Picture by Cheryl Crowe he did with a woman as a duet and I'm here to tell you he was hoooorrrrrriiiibllllle.
I'm only going to make fun of this guy because he was making eyes at me all night long and I felt we had a connection. By the way, my beautiful wife was at a bar all night with young guys looking at her longingly with her caked on makeup and low cut, cleavage revealing top and I was being solicited by a gay guy who was wearing a sport jacket over a t-shirt!....... I'm not kidding.
I kept telling Shaun that he had to go talk to the guy and ask him about his t-shirt under the sport jacket. Shaun bailed on me. No balls.
After a few shots I approached this guy and asked him about the t-shirt he was wearing. I said, "Dude, that's a great shirt what does it say?"
He said, "I don't know I got it at Marshall's."
I had no idea what he meant. Apparently Marshall's is a place for t-shirts. Is this something I should know? I don't. He showed me the print on it and it had a DKNY insignia on it. I just said, "Cool." And I walked away.
I was trying to get a feel for the mentality of the karaoke crowd.
It wasn't just a sport jacket, it was actually a suit coat with pin stripes. I'm not getting this. Someone needs to help me understand this mentality.
The whole karaoke experience at this bar was eye opening. I don't want to be judgemental but these people were crazed. It was like entering into an alternate universe where nothing was what it seemed.
I'm not sure if I'll ever get the karaoke scene but if they sing John Denver, I'll probably know all the words.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Girls Night Out
Let me spend a few moments on the recent phenomenon of Girls Night Out. Let me first say that I just don't get it. Why do woman have to have a Girls Night Out? It's odd. Usually when the women in my life want to go out together all their men call me and all of sudden want to do the same thing but with us men!
This is where it gets me thinking it's weird. The women get all dressed up. They cake on the make-up and show off more cleavage than I get to see in a month. I never see these women get made up when we all go out as couples! I'm told that it's because there is a friendly competition between the women to see who can look the hottest.....but wait a minute....doesn't that sound like if I believe this statement I'm being the most naive loser on the planet?
"Oh honey, I'm just getting dressed up because I want to look good for my girlfriends."
Even when I write it, I'm not buying it.
Let me put it to you this way. When their men and I get together for our complement to Girls Night Out, we generally have jeans, flannel shirts and ball caps on our heads. We'd have to be in an alley to be competing for who looks better on this nite!
Don't get me wrong. I guess I realize the reasoning behind women wanting to get together without their men. They can talk about their men or for that matter, talk about things their men just don't want to hear them talk about. I'm okay with it. I just wish deep down inside me that they didn't have to look so good when they did it.
I'd be perfectly fine if they all wore jeans, flannel shirts and baseball caps.
After much deliberation about this....I know you're amazed that I could spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about a topic such as this and analyzing the life out of it until I have come up with some sort of rationalization or realization that suffices my ego or just my well being but such is me.....I have come to the conclusion..........I just don't like that it has a name!
I can't stand that it's called Girls Night Out. I don't really care what goes on during this evening. Quite frankly I don't think I want to know. Usually no one tells me what happens on these nites because they don't want me to know anyway. I get it. But the fact it gets a label really bugs me. It's almost a slam against me and all that is manly. When I go out with my friends we don't label it. We didn't call it, Opening Day of Baseball Out With The Guys Day Out! But when the women get together they verbally slap us men in the face by calling it, Girls Night Out.
It's almost like this....if they happened to walk in a bar that we were patronizing, they wouldn't allow themselves to talk to us! I can hear it now, "Remember ladies, this is Girls Night Out."
After all the years I've been married I understand the importance of getting out without each other. I realize the benefits it has in the long run of a relationship. No two people can spend all their time together....that would just be nuts and I don't think it would work. I know my relationship is better when we have time to ourselves and our friends without our children let alone each other!
I'll just chalk it up to another of the many things I just don't get about women. Lord knows, growing up with three older sisters and being married this long(yes there may be a correlation there but that is for another blog) my list is getting as long as Santa Claus'!
I hope all my female friends have a safe and happy Girls Night Out this Saturday.
One more thing...."Honey, if you're reading this could you line up a sitter for Saturday nite?"
This is where it gets me thinking it's weird. The women get all dressed up. They cake on the make-up and show off more cleavage than I get to see in a month. I never see these women get made up when we all go out as couples! I'm told that it's because there is a friendly competition between the women to see who can look the hottest.....but wait a minute....doesn't that sound like if I believe this statement I'm being the most naive loser on the planet?
"Oh honey, I'm just getting dressed up because I want to look good for my girlfriends."
Even when I write it, I'm not buying it.
Let me put it to you this way. When their men and I get together for our complement to Girls Night Out, we generally have jeans, flannel shirts and ball caps on our heads. We'd have to be in an alley to be competing for who looks better on this nite!
Don't get me wrong. I guess I realize the reasoning behind women wanting to get together without their men. They can talk about their men or for that matter, talk about things their men just don't want to hear them talk about. I'm okay with it. I just wish deep down inside me that they didn't have to look so good when they did it.
I'd be perfectly fine if they all wore jeans, flannel shirts and baseball caps.
After much deliberation about this....I know you're amazed that I could spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about a topic such as this and analyzing the life out of it until I have come up with some sort of rationalization or realization that suffices my ego or just my well being but such is me.....I have come to the conclusion..........I just don't like that it has a name!
I can't stand that it's called Girls Night Out. I don't really care what goes on during this evening. Quite frankly I don't think I want to know. Usually no one tells me what happens on these nites because they don't want me to know anyway. I get it. But the fact it gets a label really bugs me. It's almost a slam against me and all that is manly. When I go out with my friends we don't label it. We didn't call it, Opening Day of Baseball Out With The Guys Day Out! But when the women get together they verbally slap us men in the face by calling it, Girls Night Out.
It's almost like this....if they happened to walk in a bar that we were patronizing, they wouldn't allow themselves to talk to us! I can hear it now, "Remember ladies, this is Girls Night Out."
After all the years I've been married I understand the importance of getting out without each other. I realize the benefits it has in the long run of a relationship. No two people can spend all their time together....that would just be nuts and I don't think it would work. I know my relationship is better when we have time to ourselves and our friends without our children let alone each other!
I'll just chalk it up to another of the many things I just don't get about women. Lord knows, growing up with three older sisters and being married this long(yes there may be a correlation there but that is for another blog) my list is getting as long as Santa Claus'!
I hope all my female friends have a safe and happy Girls Night Out this Saturday.
One more thing...."Honey, if you're reading this could you line up a sitter for Saturday nite?"
Monday, April 20, 2009
Welcome to Turmoil My Gay Friends!
I'm so confused about homosexuality right now. Why in the hell would I be against people who love each other from getting married? How is my two gay friends getting married any different than my best friend marrying a stupid young bitch that isn't right for him but he keeps telling me he's in love! It's the same thing.
People are people. We are attracted to who we are attracted to. If it's a member of the same sex, so be it. I just want my friends to be happy. What I don't get is why we as heterosexual beings want to push our beliefs onto others. What in the world gives us this right? Have we not learned from the past sexist and racist actions of our ancestors to realize we are not more open-minded and intelligent? Do we not realize that imposing our ancient beliefs upon a sector of people is rude and unfeeling?
If the answer to this is religion I'm going to bust. I'm done with following the ways of religion. If I were to follow the ways of religion I would play footsie with men in the bathroom at airports or send text messages to boy-toys. It really is time for us all to stand up to the facts.
We all have friends who are homosexual(if you don't you're missing an extremely fun group of people). They are a part of our everyday life. Most are terrific people who we love. How is it that we don't want to allow them the gift of marriage(truthfully, they are probably better off without it....careful what you wish for, you just might get it)?
The one thing that my gay friends have against me is that I'm married. I say let's screw it to them. Let's even the playing field. If what they want is to be monogamous and exclusive to the one they love, I say marry it up!
I have spoken with iron workers and electricians and they all say the same thing, "I'd rather be working with a gay man as my partner than an illegal alien."
Right now, illegal aliens have it easier to get married than a homosexual.
I have had the privilege to have friends who are homosexual and I must tell you, it's wrong what we are doing to these people. They have fought through some extreme racism to get to where they are today. Frankly, we have nothing to be afraid of. It seems we are.
I think that the reason we seem to not want them to have the right to be miserable(or married) is being voted on by people who haven't met or had the opportunity to get to know a gay person.
I truly believe if the people who continue to vote against homosexual marriage had friends who were gay or knew a gay couple, like I do, they would think differently. These are the people who should be the least of our worries. Gay couples are so much like my marriage. I have had conversations about relationships with gay couples that mirror my married life so much that it is just silly. It is amazing how relationships are relationships whether heterosexual or homosexual. People who don't know this are just uninformed. The fact is, you are stupid. You are effecting good people's lives without knowledge. It hurts me. These are people I care about. Why can't you? Why can't you trust me? I don't lie. I wouldn't lie to you about something so important.
I'm trying to tell you to stop being so scared. Trust me. I'm heterosexual. I know this is okay. Stop hurting people I care about. Your attitude is ancient and ignorant. Get over yourself. My friends and I are begging you.
Marry up my gay friends. Come to my house. I'll throw a party for you!
I can't wait to hear about the turmoil of marriage!
People are people. We are attracted to who we are attracted to. If it's a member of the same sex, so be it. I just want my friends to be happy. What I don't get is why we as heterosexual beings want to push our beliefs onto others. What in the world gives us this right? Have we not learned from the past sexist and racist actions of our ancestors to realize we are not more open-minded and intelligent? Do we not realize that imposing our ancient beliefs upon a sector of people is rude and unfeeling?
If the answer to this is religion I'm going to bust. I'm done with following the ways of religion. If I were to follow the ways of religion I would play footsie with men in the bathroom at airports or send text messages to boy-toys. It really is time for us all to stand up to the facts.
We all have friends who are homosexual(if you don't you're missing an extremely fun group of people). They are a part of our everyday life. Most are terrific people who we love. How is it that we don't want to allow them the gift of marriage(truthfully, they are probably better off without it....careful what you wish for, you just might get it)?
The one thing that my gay friends have against me is that I'm married. I say let's screw it to them. Let's even the playing field. If what they want is to be monogamous and exclusive to the one they love, I say marry it up!
I have spoken with iron workers and electricians and they all say the same thing, "I'd rather be working with a gay man as my partner than an illegal alien."
Right now, illegal aliens have it easier to get married than a homosexual.
I have had the privilege to have friends who are homosexual and I must tell you, it's wrong what we are doing to these people. They have fought through some extreme racism to get to where they are today. Frankly, we have nothing to be afraid of. It seems we are.
I think that the reason we seem to not want them to have the right to be miserable(or married) is being voted on by people who haven't met or had the opportunity to get to know a gay person.
I truly believe if the people who continue to vote against homosexual marriage had friends who were gay or knew a gay couple, like I do, they would think differently. These are the people who should be the least of our worries. Gay couples are so much like my marriage. I have had conversations about relationships with gay couples that mirror my married life so much that it is just silly. It is amazing how relationships are relationships whether heterosexual or homosexual. People who don't know this are just uninformed. The fact is, you are stupid. You are effecting good people's lives without knowledge. It hurts me. These are people I care about. Why can't you? Why can't you trust me? I don't lie. I wouldn't lie to you about something so important.
I'm trying to tell you to stop being so scared. Trust me. I'm heterosexual. I know this is okay. Stop hurting people I care about. Your attitude is ancient and ignorant. Get over yourself. My friends and I are begging you.
Marry up my gay friends. Come to my house. I'll throw a party for you!
I can't wait to hear about the turmoil of marriage!
Friday, April 17, 2009
Here's to Jackie
I went to the Cubs game the other day. It was amazing. When you enter Wrigley Field, the home of the Chicago Cubs it takes your breath away. The smell of the ballpark, the sight of the green field and the sound of the mingling fans takes you to a place in your heart that only baseball and it's ultimate glory can fulfill.
I know, that's a little overboard but I love baseball and Wrigley Field is sick with nostalgia. It's the second oldest baseball park in the game behind Fenway Park in Boston. When men pee in the bathroom, we pee in a trough! I'm not lying.
Wednesday was a special day in the baseball community. It was the anniversary of Jackie Robinson breaking the color barrier in this game we all love(or at least you should).
I think we all know the story. If you don't, look it up it's a good one.
Robinson went through some great pains to fulfill his dream. I can't imagine what it was like for a black man to play on an all white team against all white opponents and in front of all white fans but I do know that his perseverance made our country a better one. I may go as far to say, that what Jackie Robinson did for the game of baseball helped our country elect our current president.
Once again I may be going a little far with my love of baseball but talk to anyone from the Detroit area, let alone from Michigan who didn't feel some pain this week from the passing of Mark Fidrych and you will know what I mean.
I can only imagine what motivated Robinson to do what he did. What I believe is that the beauty of the game itself and the passion that he carried for the game was greater than the hardships he knew would follow him in his playing days.
This brings me back to Wednesday at the ballpark. Baseball's ridiculous commissioner, Bud Selig decided(as an obvious publicity stunt) to have every major league ballplayer wear the number 42(Robinson's number) on his jersey this day.
It must be said that jersey numbers are synonomous to every player, good or bad. On this day we in the stands had vaguely an idea who was who on the field. It was almost comical. When I watched my highlite show that nite I had no idea who did what.
I truly don't think this was an appropriate tribute to a great man. I think Robinson did the things he did because of his love for the integrity of the game of baseball. I think he was rolling over in his grave because this idiot of a commssioner just doesn't get it!
It wasn't about publicity. It was about the game itself. This game of baseball is bigger than racism. It's a part of America. It's a part of our childhood. It's something we feel inside when we turn a game on TV or step into a ballpark. It's the feeling we get from cheering on our favorite team or when my nephew strikes someone out. It's a part of us all.
I love this game and herein lies the truth....when my nephew came over to my house the other day I said, "Did you bring your glove?"
He replied, "Of course I did. I know better than that!"
Jake and I played catch for a long time. It was great!
I know, that's a little overboard but I love baseball and Wrigley Field is sick with nostalgia. It's the second oldest baseball park in the game behind Fenway Park in Boston. When men pee in the bathroom, we pee in a trough! I'm not lying.
Wednesday was a special day in the baseball community. It was the anniversary of Jackie Robinson breaking the color barrier in this game we all love(or at least you should).
I think we all know the story. If you don't, look it up it's a good one.
Robinson went through some great pains to fulfill his dream. I can't imagine what it was like for a black man to play on an all white team against all white opponents and in front of all white fans but I do know that his perseverance made our country a better one. I may go as far to say, that what Jackie Robinson did for the game of baseball helped our country elect our current president.
Once again I may be going a little far with my love of baseball but talk to anyone from the Detroit area, let alone from Michigan who didn't feel some pain this week from the passing of Mark Fidrych and you will know what I mean.
I can only imagine what motivated Robinson to do what he did. What I believe is that the beauty of the game itself and the passion that he carried for the game was greater than the hardships he knew would follow him in his playing days.
This brings me back to Wednesday at the ballpark. Baseball's ridiculous commissioner, Bud Selig decided(as an obvious publicity stunt) to have every major league ballplayer wear the number 42(Robinson's number) on his jersey this day.
It must be said that jersey numbers are synonomous to every player, good or bad. On this day we in the stands had vaguely an idea who was who on the field. It was almost comical. When I watched my highlite show that nite I had no idea who did what.
I truly don't think this was an appropriate tribute to a great man. I think Robinson did the things he did because of his love for the integrity of the game of baseball. I think he was rolling over in his grave because this idiot of a commssioner just doesn't get it!
It wasn't about publicity. It was about the game itself. This game of baseball is bigger than racism. It's a part of America. It's a part of our childhood. It's something we feel inside when we turn a game on TV or step into a ballpark. It's the feeling we get from cheering on our favorite team or when my nephew strikes someone out. It's a part of us all.
I love this game and herein lies the truth....when my nephew came over to my house the other day I said, "Did you bring your glove?"
He replied, "Of course I did. I know better than that!"
Jake and I played catch for a long time. It was great!
Monday, April 13, 2009
Happy Birthday Michael and Janie
What an amazing day! Not only did my children get up this morning to Easter baskets and go searching for eggs around our house, but it was also their 5th birthday. I must tell you I kept looking at them all day long in awe.
It's just crazy that these two beautiful human beings are my offspring. I revel in the fact they smile all the time. Their smiles are the best part of my day....every day. Today they had Easter and their birthday....are you kidding me?....they were all smiles all day. It was awesome.
They fell asleep in the living room tonite. As I took each one of them to their beds I couldn't help but think how not that long ago they were babies. These 5 year olds were my babies such a short time ago. I can't believe how being a parent makes time move so fast. It's so true.
When my children were first born a friend of mine said, "The only advice I can give you is to smell the roses." I wasn't sure what he meant. He told me, "Time goes so fast with your children, try to enjoy every moment." Brilliant! People give you advice when you have children all the time but I will never forget this piece of advice because after 5 years I know it's so true!
I can't believe they are 5. My son and I play catch every day. My daughter makes crafts that I could never create. It seems like just yesterday they were helpless baby-beings who I needed to help feed and change their diapers.
Now I'm amazed at the people they have become.
There is a part of me that is sad that they have left their baby-ness behind them. But I am so excited at the prospect of future times to come. I can't wait to watch them grow. Secretly, I can't wait for the difficulties of high school and relationships that they will experience. I have been enjoying the ups and downs of this with my nephew for the past few years and we seem to be handling it well together(kudos Tim).
Let me take a moment to mention my nephew. I have such a great relationship with this young man. He makes me so proud to be his uncle. We have discussed relationships and women and such....I never have to say much to him. I say my peace and I move on. I don't harp.....gosh knows I like to harp......but when it comes to my nephew I just give him my word and I move on. It works for us. I love our relationship and I think he does too. I know that this relationship will help me be a better father when my children get to be his age.
I know it's sappy but I must say, these children of mine are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I know now what my purpose is on this earth. All the careers, college courses and relationships in the past are just a path to this spoken ground.
These two beautiful children who were born on this day are the very reason I was put on this earth.
Happy Birthday Michael and Janie!
It's just crazy that these two beautiful human beings are my offspring. I revel in the fact they smile all the time. Their smiles are the best part of my day....every day. Today they had Easter and their birthday....are you kidding me?....they were all smiles all day. It was awesome.
They fell asleep in the living room tonite. As I took each one of them to their beds I couldn't help but think how not that long ago they were babies. These 5 year olds were my babies such a short time ago. I can't believe how being a parent makes time move so fast. It's so true.
When my children were first born a friend of mine said, "The only advice I can give you is to smell the roses." I wasn't sure what he meant. He told me, "Time goes so fast with your children, try to enjoy every moment." Brilliant! People give you advice when you have children all the time but I will never forget this piece of advice because after 5 years I know it's so true!
I can't believe they are 5. My son and I play catch every day. My daughter makes crafts that I could never create. It seems like just yesterday they were helpless baby-beings who I needed to help feed and change their diapers.
Now I'm amazed at the people they have become.
There is a part of me that is sad that they have left their baby-ness behind them. But I am so excited at the prospect of future times to come. I can't wait to watch them grow. Secretly, I can't wait for the difficulties of high school and relationships that they will experience. I have been enjoying the ups and downs of this with my nephew for the past few years and we seem to be handling it well together(kudos Tim).
Let me take a moment to mention my nephew. I have such a great relationship with this young man. He makes me so proud to be his uncle. We have discussed relationships and women and such....I never have to say much to him. I say my peace and I move on. I don't harp.....gosh knows I like to harp......but when it comes to my nephew I just give him my word and I move on. It works for us. I love our relationship and I think he does too. I know that this relationship will help me be a better father when my children get to be his age.
I know it's sappy but I must say, these children of mine are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I know now what my purpose is on this earth. All the careers, college courses and relationships in the past are just a path to this spoken ground.
These two beautiful children who were born on this day are the very reason I was put on this earth.
Happy Birthday Michael and Janie!
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Don't Touch My Burner
I must take a moment to mention how difficult writing a blog can be. Generally I write about something that has given me purpose to think in the approximately 24 hours since my last writing. You would be amazed at how you can go through life every day and not have a moment that affects you enough to write.
It was a beautiful in Chicagoland today. We were in the mid 50's and my beautiful children were outside with me all day. It was pretty cool for me. I love being outside with them. But it's not that poignant to warrant a decent blog. Chasing after a baseball is only so interesting.
I have some close friends going through an extremely difficult time right now, but writing about it(which I want to so bad I couldn't sleep last nite and I will soon) just doesn't seem like the friend thing to do. So I am going to pull from the depths of my mental archives.
You see, there are times when writing this blog is a breeze. Events happen that make it easy to respond. But often times, I have to come up with something entertaining or thought provoking to write about. Believe me, it is so much easier to write about something I am extremely passionate about than something that is just about me.
So screw it...I'm writing about me tonite.
I love to cook. I cook the majority of the meals in my house. I not only cook for my family, but I cook for our friends too. My wife loves my cooking so much she brags about it to her friends and invites them over to experience my food(she's a peach!).
I have no problem cooking for people. Without blowing my own horn(you know that what comes next is me blowing my horn), I'm pretty good at it. I have a background in restaurants and have been taught by some people that I think that are the best in their field(Big Bill I'm talking about you!).
I am also very welcoming to people who want to watch or take part in the cooking process as I go through the effort of preparing the meal.
To an extent.
Let me take you through an episode the other day that happened to me in my kitchen......did I mention my kitchen?
I was making Pumpkin Ravioli w/Mascarpone Cream Sauce for about 10 people at my house(it's freaking awesome....email and I'll send you the recipe).
My friend Linda was in a hurry to get home or something and started telling me how she thought my cooking could be better(hey, I'm all about receiving tips to make things better but for the love of god, I'm cooking for a dozen people here). I took her thoughts into consideration but I was cooking for a group of people and her thoughts were better for the next time I made this meal.
Like I said I'm good with suggestions. After all, if we don't listen to other's ideas we will never advance our cooking skill.
Without boring you with the details of how I prepare the sauce for this meal(which by the way is the key to the whole eating experience)I'll move on. I began cooking the sauce. For some reason Linda didn't think I was cooking it properly and adjusted the burner underneath my sauce pan!
YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!
That was it. "Get out of my kitchen." I yelled.
Of course I was chastised for yelling at a guest by my wife but for crying out loud! I listened to her ridiculous ideas on how to make my exactly perfect sauce better for close to an hour. Do I really have to allow her to come into my kitchen and adjust my burners?
I can handle all the cooking advice in the world. Everyone has an opinion as to how something may taste better. Ultimately it's my product. I'll listen but I don't have to follow the advice.
I will offer this advice to anyone who chooses to offer their thoughts on how a meal may come out better to a cook who is preparing it.....
1. Don't expect us to agree
2. Don't expect us to change our cooking procedure
3. Don't ever touch our heat
The last one is the most important.
It's like slapping someone on the ass while they're having sex and saying, "Hey! How's your Mom?"
It was a beautiful in Chicagoland today. We were in the mid 50's and my beautiful children were outside with me all day. It was pretty cool for me. I love being outside with them. But it's not that poignant to warrant a decent blog. Chasing after a baseball is only so interesting.
I have some close friends going through an extremely difficult time right now, but writing about it(which I want to so bad I couldn't sleep last nite and I will soon) just doesn't seem like the friend thing to do. So I am going to pull from the depths of my mental archives.
You see, there are times when writing this blog is a breeze. Events happen that make it easy to respond. But often times, I have to come up with something entertaining or thought provoking to write about. Believe me, it is so much easier to write about something I am extremely passionate about than something that is just about me.
So screw it...I'm writing about me tonite.
I love to cook. I cook the majority of the meals in my house. I not only cook for my family, but I cook for our friends too. My wife loves my cooking so much she brags about it to her friends and invites them over to experience my food(she's a peach!).
I have no problem cooking for people. Without blowing my own horn(you know that what comes next is me blowing my horn), I'm pretty good at it. I have a background in restaurants and have been taught by some people that I think that are the best in their field(Big Bill I'm talking about you!).
I am also very welcoming to people who want to watch or take part in the cooking process as I go through the effort of preparing the meal.
To an extent.
Let me take you through an episode the other day that happened to me in my kitchen......did I mention my kitchen?
I was making Pumpkin Ravioli w/Mascarpone Cream Sauce for about 10 people at my house(it's freaking awesome....email and I'll send you the recipe).
My friend Linda was in a hurry to get home or something and started telling me how she thought my cooking could be better(hey, I'm all about receiving tips to make things better but for the love of god, I'm cooking for a dozen people here). I took her thoughts into consideration but I was cooking for a group of people and her thoughts were better for the next time I made this meal.
Like I said I'm good with suggestions. After all, if we don't listen to other's ideas we will never advance our cooking skill.
Without boring you with the details of how I prepare the sauce for this meal(which by the way is the key to the whole eating experience)I'll move on. I began cooking the sauce. For some reason Linda didn't think I was cooking it properly and adjusted the burner underneath my sauce pan!
YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!
That was it. "Get out of my kitchen." I yelled.
Of course I was chastised for yelling at a guest by my wife but for crying out loud! I listened to her ridiculous ideas on how to make my exactly perfect sauce better for close to an hour. Do I really have to allow her to come into my kitchen and adjust my burners?
I can handle all the cooking advice in the world. Everyone has an opinion as to how something may taste better. Ultimately it's my product. I'll listen but I don't have to follow the advice.
I will offer this advice to anyone who chooses to offer their thoughts on how a meal may come out better to a cook who is preparing it.....
1. Don't expect us to agree
2. Don't expect us to change our cooking procedure
3. Don't ever touch our heat
The last one is the most important.
It's like slapping someone on the ass while they're having sex and saying, "Hey! How's your Mom?"
Monday, April 6, 2009
Opening Day
The words Opening Day could mean different things to different people. But whenever I have heard those words they have only meant one thing to me. Baseball. You see the game of baseball isn't just a game to me. It is a part of my life. It has been a part of me since I was a child. I will always think of baseball as the best part of my relationship with my father. He taught me how to play this game and the game taught me how to become an adult.
There is a quote from Jim Bouton a former big leaguer and I may not get this exactly correct, but as I know it to be goes like this....."I spent most of my life gripping a baseball, but I realize that it has been baseball gripping me."
We hold on so tightly to this game, but it is this game that has ended up teaching us the most important lessons in life.
It is widely known that the hardest thing in sports is to hit a round ball with a round bat. A Hall of Fame hitter fails to do this 70% of the time. Life can be so similar.
We try as friends, parents, spouses and all the roles we portray in life to be 100%, but in reality if we succeed 30% of the time we are actually accomplishing our goals. The best baseball players learn to overcome their failures. Understanding that overcoming adversity defines our character can make or break the way we live we our lives. We need to realize life is rough. No one can be perfect. Only through our failures will we be able to grow and learn.
I spent the day today with my friends Bryan and Shaun. They both took the day off work so they could watch opening day baseball with me. As we watched the games today, I couldn't help but think what a great thing Opening Day is. There aren't too many other days in the year when we can get together and just be. Baseball brought us together today. If for no other reason, baseball can be a good reason. We experienced that today.
As a husband and parent, time spent with a couple of friends can be increasingly difficult to come by. Baseball got us over that hump today. I'm happy it did.
Not only does Opening Day signify the beginning of the season, the beginning of good weather(for us in Chicago, not so much) and a feeling of rebirth, it also gives us, if nothing else, a good excuse to blow off our wives and hang out with the guys and just be.
There is a quote from Jim Bouton a former big leaguer and I may not get this exactly correct, but as I know it to be goes like this....."I spent most of my life gripping a baseball, but I realize that it has been baseball gripping me."
We hold on so tightly to this game, but it is this game that has ended up teaching us the most important lessons in life.
It is widely known that the hardest thing in sports is to hit a round ball with a round bat. A Hall of Fame hitter fails to do this 70% of the time. Life can be so similar.
We try as friends, parents, spouses and all the roles we portray in life to be 100%, but in reality if we succeed 30% of the time we are actually accomplishing our goals. The best baseball players learn to overcome their failures. Understanding that overcoming adversity defines our character can make or break the way we live we our lives. We need to realize life is rough. No one can be perfect. Only through our failures will we be able to grow and learn.
I spent the day today with my friends Bryan and Shaun. They both took the day off work so they could watch opening day baseball with me. As we watched the games today, I couldn't help but think what a great thing Opening Day is. There aren't too many other days in the year when we can get together and just be. Baseball brought us together today. If for no other reason, baseball can be a good reason. We experienced that today.
As a husband and parent, time spent with a couple of friends can be increasingly difficult to come by. Baseball got us over that hump today. I'm happy it did.
Not only does Opening Day signify the beginning of the season, the beginning of good weather(for us in Chicago, not so much) and a feeling of rebirth, it also gives us, if nothing else, a good excuse to blow off our wives and hang out with the guys and just be.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Tips For the Home Dad
I've been thinking about something lately. Considering the way things are going in our country these days I must believe there are more and more stay at home dads these days. With this in mind I thought I would give some advice to those who are new to this way of life.
Any dad who is new to the stay at home lifestyle will soon become overwhelmed especially if there are children involved. I have two. They are 4 year old twins. A boy and a girl. I'm sure I've said this before but I feel it needs to be fresh in every one's mind. Most of the advice/instruction I will dole out in the following verbiage will not pertain to taking care of the children. I feel we are all good dads in our own right and can handle feeding, washing and general care of our own children. This goes without saying.
It's the taking care of the household that is mind boggling. Literally, I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing when it comes to the cleaning and care of the house. The following is what I have learned to make my life as a stay at home dad easier for me and my wife....who by the way is going to work every day and hates that I get to stay home with our children. The first thing to realize as a stay at home dad is that your wife hates you! It's not because you're a loser. It's because you're getting to do the very thing she wants to do. My wife would give her left foot to be able to stay home with the kids while I work all day.
Let's just get straight to the help I can give to stay at home dads.
First of all, we must realize our goals. It's extremely important to understand the outcome of our work. Think about it, if you spend 40 hours a week at a job, you get a paycheck. If you work 40 hours a week taking care of the kids and the house you get a paycheck too....but it's generally payment in a person to person manner with your wife.
Let's get this right out in the open. As men, who are not working we have a diminished sense of self esteem. It's probably our biggest issue as stay at home dads. When it gets right down to it, the one thing that gives us the self confidence we need is relations with our spouse.
Basically, as a home dad, all we really are doing is trying to make the working mom happy enough to have relations with us.
Here we go!
Laundry
You gotta do the laundry. I know it sucks. But it's key to your woman's happiness. Always wash the clothes your wife looks hottest in. You know what I mean, that small tank top or the skimpy t-shirt that's a size too small. Wash her hot underwear. Don't waste your time on the granny panties. Remember, you're in control here. Wash the clothes she'll look best to you in. That crappy sweatshirt that is ugly and bulky moves to the back of the laundry room. Also remember, women don't use the same towel for a week or two like you do. They like to burn through towels(multiple...they use big towels for their body and smaller towels for that weird swirl thing they do on their heads). Stay on top of the towel laundry.
This is the most important thing to remember about laundry. You can wash the laundry you need for over a week in one load. Our clothing means nothing. We can live without it. We can always wear the same pair of underwear for days. Just turn it inside out.....this side is clean! Wash the kids clothes and the wife's clothes before yours, you'll be better off in the long run.
First Site is Key
It doesn't matter how clean the house is. If the first thing she will see when she walks in the door is a messy foyer, she won't see anything after that. Remember, her happiness when she walks in the door is key to you getting a piece later on! A simple trick to this is to arrange the shoes that are always in the foyer. Simply set them up in a neat line and when she walks in it will look like you've cleaned for hours....trust me it works. You will be amazed at how a neat foyer will help you later in the evening!
She Can See All
One of the important things you must learn right away is that your wife can see shit you never thought was there. My wife will not wipe away a spot that is behind the garbage can in the kitchen for weeks so she can call me out on it. Quite frankly, I don't look behind the freaking garbage can wall for stains because....hello....I'm taking out the garbage. But sure enough, she'll say, "You know that wall behind the garbage can has had a stain for weeks." I'm like, "If it's bugging you, grab a sponge and clean it!"
You can imagine that goes over well. Don't let this happen to you. Try to look at places you would never look. After all, we can't clean this shit as well as our women! But if you want your evening to end well, you have to find these ridiculous spots to wipe up. It only takes a second but your wife won't tell you where they are or do it themselves just so they can throw it in your face that it's hasn't been cleaned in weeks(as if it'd be cleaned if the witch didn't say something in the first place).
Always remember this tidbit. No matter how quickly you've cleaned something, double the time it took when you tell her. Remember when women clean they usually are on the phone with someone and it takes them twice as long to clean an area because their gums are flapping more than there is any cleaning happening.
"Damn honey, it took me hours to clean the bathrooms today."
One last thing that I did today. When the mailman comes and brings the new Kohl's shopping magazine. Throw that thing in the garbage. After that, make sure you fill the can with crap so you can get the bag out in the garbage can. The last thing we all need is more bulky sweatshirts!
I have more of these tips. I'll bring them to you in the days to come.
If I haven't mentioned it....thanks for reading!
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
A Wife Doesn't Have to Listen
Come this June, I will have been married(to the same woman) for 16 years. I should say it has been the fastest 16 years of my life. But there are some things that have made begin to wonder why.
It's amazing how after being married for a long period of time you basically stop listening to each other. I don't mean you don't listen to the important things.....you know....bills, mortgage, the kids(the little monsters) and taxes. I mean the things about her sisters, friends and work that I couldn't care two dimes about.
My wife mentioned to me about a(so called) conversation we had about a friend of hers and something about dying her sister's hair.....blah, blah, blah.....I'm gone.
Are you kidding? If anywhere in my conversation with my wife gets to dying a woman's hair....I'm gone. There has to be something more pertinent in sports going on than a woman's hair color choice.
My wife kills me all the time..."You never listen to me!" You're goddamn right. How in god's green earth could I possibly listen to your woman crap for more than 15 seconds?
To be fair, she doesn't hear much I have to say anymore either. I can see her eyes and body language go completely away when I speak of sports or an antidote I may have found amusing in my daily life that I'm thinking of blogging about.
You see, after a couple has been married for an extended period of time, we begin to be able to finish each other's sentences. When it comes to my wife, she can complete my entire paragraphs! I'm not sure she has heard a single word I have said beyond, "You know what?......" She's heard it all.
If I ever complain about an existing paradox, she always explains to me, "We are soul-mates...I know what you are thinking."
After all these years of marriage, I find it amazing that we constantly rehash discussions we have had previously and tune them out. But if given the right amount of thought it's completely natural. Why would we listen to shit we've heard over and over for years?
It's these nuances that keep marriages together. It's not what breaks them up. We need to realize these are the day to day happenings that make our union stronger. All of us need to realize the opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. If we didn't care, we wouldn't hate! If we didn't care, we would move on.
You can only imagine the strength of my wife. To live and love with me for 15+ years is pretty amazing in my eyes, let alone yours. But when she is pissed at me, I know it's because she cares(and believe me it's more times than I would like to admit).
It blows my mind how much we don't hear each other these days. It's not that we don't listen, it's just that we know after all these years we've heard it before.
It's amazing how after being married for a long period of time you basically stop listening to each other. I don't mean you don't listen to the important things.....you know....bills, mortgage, the kids(the little monsters) and taxes. I mean the things about her sisters, friends and work that I couldn't care two dimes about.
My wife mentioned to me about a(so called) conversation we had about a friend of hers and something about dying her sister's hair.....blah, blah, blah.....I'm gone.
Are you kidding? If anywhere in my conversation with my wife gets to dying a woman's hair....I'm gone. There has to be something more pertinent in sports going on than a woman's hair color choice.
My wife kills me all the time..."You never listen to me!" You're goddamn right. How in god's green earth could I possibly listen to your woman crap for more than 15 seconds?
To be fair, she doesn't hear much I have to say anymore either. I can see her eyes and body language go completely away when I speak of sports or an antidote I may have found amusing in my daily life that I'm thinking of blogging about.
You see, after a couple has been married for an extended period of time, we begin to be able to finish each other's sentences. When it comes to my wife, she can complete my entire paragraphs! I'm not sure she has heard a single word I have said beyond, "You know what?......" She's heard it all.
If I ever complain about an existing paradox, she always explains to me, "We are soul-mates...I know what you are thinking."
After all these years of marriage, I find it amazing that we constantly rehash discussions we have had previously and tune them out. But if given the right amount of thought it's completely natural. Why would we listen to shit we've heard over and over for years?
It's these nuances that keep marriages together. It's not what breaks them up. We need to realize these are the day to day happenings that make our union stronger. All of us need to realize the opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. If we didn't care, we wouldn't hate! If we didn't care, we would move on.
You can only imagine the strength of my wife. To live and love with me for 15+ years is pretty amazing in my eyes, let alone yours. But when she is pissed at me, I know it's because she cares(and believe me it's more times than I would like to admit).
It blows my mind how much we don't hear each other these days. It's not that we don't listen, it's just that we know after all these years we've heard it before.
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