I'm Back but Confused

So I started a new job this week. It's not really a new job, it's the job I got laid off from last year. But thankfully they thought enough of me to want me back when the need arose. Here I am. 7:00am to 3:30pm. They're great hours. But my alarm goes off at 5:30am and I leave the house by 6:30am. It's a little different from waking up at 9:00am and making chocolate milk for the kids. My body is screaming at me. But it's all good.

Today is my first Saturday in a long time that I feel that I earned it. Don't get me wrong. Taking care of the kids and the house is more than a full time job, but as a man it just doesn't get you there. It's hard to explain. I don't want to downplay anyone but being a stay at home parent is a bitch.

It's nice because you are your own boss.....but really is this true? Your boss becomes your spouse. This can be the worst thing anyone could plague you with. I'm not going further. Being married is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Now that we share children I got nothing. It's insane. I care about nothing else. These three people are what make me, me. I care about other things but nothing compares to my devotion to these people. But when you're the guy who's home with the kids instead of the woman who carried them in her womb, not being an asshole is almost impossible no matter how clean the kitchen is.

I love working like I have never before. I work with a lot of people who don't like what they do. But I love it. I'm almost too giddy. I don't have to clean the house or wipe a shitty butt(sorry Judy). I get to work at a job that I believe in. I truly believe the UVerse system will help almost every American family. It will save people money and that savings will be spent economically and we will all benefit.

Briefly....I am working w/AT&T like my grandfather. They are working to offer consumers a better and cheaper way to utilize cellphone, television and internet usage. These are things that every American spends money upon. If AT&T can come up with a way to save each and every American a $100 savings per month on these services don't you think that money will come back into the economy and we can start being capitalistic again?

If you get the opportunity to switch to AT&T UVerse do it! I believe it will be our way out! I'm not kidding.

But I digress. Boy I've put some kick ass tunes on this website. I've just been firing them up while I write tonite......"If I can't change your mind"......love Sugar. I hope you all dig some of my favorite tunes. If not, I don't care. My kids and I danced together the last time I put tunes up on the site. We were down in my computer dungeon in the basement dancing away...it was sweet.

When I'm at work I miss my kids so much. But it's so cool when I come home....they run out to my car and even before I can get out of it, they are all over me. I get hugs and kisses like I'd been gone for days. It makes me realize the importance of it all.

I realize that this has been a blog of randomness. But I have missed writing this week. I have pretty much come home from work....spent some time with the kids....had dinner.....and gone to bed. I'm starting to feel better. Next week should work out better and I hope to write some more. Especially since the Stanley Cup Playoffs are over. No Comment.

Thank you for your patience.

One of my best friends in high school called me and said he had two tickets to Springsteen but no way to get there. I had to break a prescheduled date with my girlfriend at the time to make it happen.....and you know I did. Probably the best decision I ever made. We had the best time at the Joe that night. I choose to remember that night rather than last night!

High Five For Emily!

One of the wildest things that happens in my life is the young people who I have seen born into this world do really incredible shit.

My niece just graduated from high school yesterday. I'm over 300 miles away and couldn't be there. This hurts me in a big way.

My niece is a strong young woman and the fact her Uncle Tom wasn't there for graduation probably didn't effect her too much. But it did me. I love this girl. I have watched her grow into the young, strong and proud woman she has become all these years. It makes me proud to be her uncle.

The fact is, I'm far away and I can't make it to every event in my niece's life. But that sucks for me and for her too(I hope).

But the bottom line is...I'm so very proud of Emily and I'm excited to experience the growth of the woman she will become(despite the influence of her mother, no offense Peg)......and hopefully I'll get to have some influence in there as well.

It truly is amazing to share the lifetime of young people. They grow in front of your eyes and become adults. My niece is an amazing young woman and I wish nothing but the best for her.

Congrats Em! Now the hard part starts. You get to start figuring out why!

Good Things are Happening

Life is so weird. I think part of the reason I write this blog is because life is so weird. I've been unemployed for a few months and it's been great spending time with my children but really I just want to go back to work.

I'm not sure if it's a man thing or just that staying at home with the kids has driven me to a place I'm not sure I would want any other to go. I'm happy to say the time has finally come. I get to go back to work this Monday.

Instead of making chocolate milk and unwrapping breakfast bars every freaking morning of my life, I get to plan my outfit the night before and wake up to my alarm clock! Wooo Hoooo!

I won't be worrying about vacuuming the rug in the living room. I don't have to draw a tub for 5 year olds anymore. I don't have to mop the freaking floors anymore. I don't have to wipe the spit off the mirror in the bathroom anymore.

Yet, that kinda sucks. I'll miss waking my daughter up in the morning by climbing into her bed with her and wrapping my arms around her. I'll miss the questions from my son about which baseball games are on TV today and who's playing.

When I think about the times my beautiful daughter has come to me and said, "Daddy, I'm hungy," and I may have been hesitant to help her quickly I realize I won't be the one feeding her in the future during the day. This kinda sucks.

Taking care of my kids these last few months has been a most difficult chore. But it has probably been the most rewarding job I have ever had. I have built a bond with my two children that will never be broken. As much as we have driven each other crazy we know our limits and know how to keep from them.

I am proud to say that I will be starting a new job next week. In an economy that is shedding jobs, I have somehow landed one. Hopefully this job will keep our family from losing our home and security like so many others have.

While we are extremely happy about this opportunity, I find myself looking back and reflecting. Good Lord I will miss being with my kids all day long! I'm already sad. The things I have watched them achieve and overcome in the last few months is mind boggling. I can't believe I won't be with them each day after next week to observe their growth.

I guess the most important thing that I have learned over the last few months of unemployment is that my kids are GREAT! I love them with all my heart. They blow my mind every day. I will miss them but they will help me through every day because coming home to see them will make it all worth while.

Tunes for the Time Being

I'm extremely tired and I promised I would watch my kid's favorite cartoon in bed tonite with them and their mother.....so I thought I would send along a couple of nice tunes....enjoy!

I found this one on utube...I was looking for the Rusted Root tune but I liked the Weasley twin tribute as I don't mind saying, I am a fan of these movies.....and have read all the books!



Mike Doughty.....Looking at the World from the Bottom of a Well. This is the first song my son started singing off the radio when he was about 2 years old(he sings many now).



Bob Mould and Sugar...makes me think of my friend Mootsie who's in New Jersey these days.

The Ice Cream Man Cometh

When I was a child, I used to love hearing the ringing of the ice cream man's truck singing it's song down the street. It could be the next street over or on my street one block away. But when I heard that jingle from that beloved truck......"I walked around the corner and I walked around the block and I walked right in to a donut shop....and I picked up a donut and I licked off the grease and I handed the lady a five cent piece.....Weeeellllllll she looked at the nickle and she looked at me and she said this nickle is no good to me, there's a hole in the middle I can see right through....say I, there's a hole in the donut too!"...I knew there was ice cream in my immediate future. It was an expectation of delight.

I can even remember one day when a couple of friends and myself heard that glorious tune from afar but alas, there was no parent with the fruits of our desire in sight(I mean there was basically no one with any cash to pay for our bounty). I secretly reached into my mother's purse and eureka! A fresh five dollar bill!

You must realize back in the days of my youth, five dollars bought a plethora of ice cream from Mr. Good Humor. My friends and I spent every last penny. We took our treasure inside of the garage of one and ate until each and everyone us almost puked. It was glorious. I was the king. I saved the day. I was the saviour of our Good Humor-ous-ness!

Until I returned home.

I'm not sure how old I was. But let's say I was 7 or 8(at the most). I had no idea how important every single dollar in my mother's wallet was to her. Quite frankly when I took the fiver out of her purse I was sure she would never miss it. There was a bunch of other dollars in there(of course they were probably all ones). The thought I would get caught while I sucked and licked each chocolate eclair to my heart's desire never even crossed my mind. As a matter of fact, when I walked home that evening(after the Serritella whistle), I was as proud as a peacock. Whoops!

When I walked into the buzzsaw that was my father with chocolate around my lips....well let's just say, I never....EVER....took money out of my mother's purse again! I do it to my wife now and again, but sometimes when I slide the bills out of her wallet, I can still feel the sting in my ass from that first time.

After that experience, the ice cream man didn't have all those happy feelings any longer. In fact it was years and years after when I came across this jovial, ice cream spewing, trouble making man again.

I was at my brother-in-law's house. We were playing with his children in the yard. They were about 5 and 8 years old(they're 16 and 13 now and will probably kill me for telling this story). It was a warm sunny day. Everything was cheery and happy until we heard that dreaded jingle(see above. I'm not writing it again).

I saw rage in my brother-in-law's eyes. He turned up the radio in the yard. He started the lawnmower. He started his car and revved the engine. It occurred to me he was trying to make as much noise as possible.

I asked him, "What the hell are you doing?"

He said, "It's that man. He's not gonna beat me this time."

I realized it was the ice cream man and he was trying to drown out the jingle with as much noise in the yard that he could manufacture. I was extremely confused. Why could someone not like the ice cream man?

He explained to me that once you buy ice cream from the ice cream man he now knows where you live. He knows that your kids will beg you to no end until you give in and buy them ice cream from this guy. He knows it, and exploits it. Being the competitive guy he is, my brother-in-law began to make it a quest to best the ice cream man.

I shrugged it off and considering this was almost 10 years before my children were born, I just didn't get it.

Now I do.

I'm telling you this ice cream truck guy knows my kids are listening every minute of every day for his stupid jingle to come down our street and you know we're a staple of his route. He's counting my money before he even pulls onto our block. S.O.B. I hate this guy!

My stupid kids make me buy for everyone on the block too! They always say, "Daddy, what's the number rule?"

I reply, "Share." Then I think to myself why the hell did I teach them that as I dole out the money to this prick in the jingle playing, stupid colored, odd shaped truck? And you know what? Five bucks doesn't even cover my two kid's Spounge Bob Square Pants crappy-ass popcicles. Heck, four of us almost all puked our guts out over five bucks worth of ice cream in my day! Now that I'm paying for it, it's drying me out.

Let me just say....It is On! It's me against him now. We're talking loud music, vacuum cleaners and motor boats. Anything I can use to make a ton of noise to keep my kids from hearing the donut song is my friend!

My brother-in-law warned me. I should have listened to him. But then again there was so much noise happening, who could hear him! Thanks for trying Zack.