Thinking About the Why?

I've been thinking about why lately. Why do good people pass away. Why do we keep the friendships we have lost. Why do we go the extra mile for our spouses. Why do we forgive our siblings forever and ever. Why?

Why can really mess you up. I can find myself in a why conundrum and feel I must fight myself out. But sometimes fighting my way out is the worst thing I can do. Sometimes just dealing with the why and accepting it as it is can make me a better person. Understanding the why can be uplifting.

I know why I write this blog. I'm an emotional and opinionated person and having the forum to express myself makes me a better person. This is where I get my Tom on. I can tell you that my ability to express myself in this blog has made me an easier person to deal with to the people who deal with me on a day to day basis(they tell me all time how I am so much more easy going than I used to be...which by the way kind of pisses me off......because I've always been a fun loving kind of guy....oh never mind). Apparently, having a venue to vent my thoughts is easier on the people I know than having them hear it from me first hand!

There will be times when I will be asked certain opinions about certain opinionated subjects by people who don't know that I will subject them to the opinionated honesty they don't necessarily want to hear and get what others may describe as destroyed by me. This has become widely known as being....."Tom'd".

I have many friends, acquaintances and family members who have been Tom'd. They don't hold it against me, but they know when it may come and quite frankly they asked for it.

I don't Tom people who don't ask me for my opinion. I don't Tom people who I am just having conversation with about whatever it is they feel the need to discuss.

I only Tom people who ask me for my opinion. I usually say something along the lines of, "Naaah you don't want me to tell you what I think."

But it's like they beg me. I finally get to the point where I tell them the things they don't want to hear. I tell them the real truth behind their problems. Then....they get screaming mad at me and tell my wife I'm a total a-hole and I end up in deep steaming water. Being honest is my deepest fault. It's also what gets me in the most trouble.

My wife continues to ask me, "Why?" I have no answer. I just don't know.

People want you to tell them the truth, but it can hurt them so bad that telling them may hurt you. I'll never not tell a person the truth or at least what I feel is the truth in spite of their feelings. If you ask me, I'm telling you.

I hate it that people call it being Tom'd. But I get that everyone who knows the term knows the honesty behind it. I don't try to hurt people but sometimes you have to hurt them to get through to them.

Why do I write this blog every nite....or almost every nite?

I'm here to tell you, I just don't have any idea! And truth be told neither do you!

But I do know that writing my thoughts out helps me personally because I don't hold everything inside. This blog is a great way for me as a person to expel the anxiety I have within me on this website and it relieves me from expelling it on my family and friends! This is bigger than you can imagine.

I can tell you I love my wife and my children and they are the people that drive me the most crazy in my life. But there is no way I could possibly be a better man without them in my life. The same goes for my sisters and their families.

I don't get the why. But I do get this. I love my wife and my kids and my family and without them I'm not sure why I'd do anything.

I Love My Dog...Don't You?

I spent 15 years in the sports media. It's kind of a difficult circle. You have to realize, you're working in an environment that takes sports waaaaayyyy too seriously. Sports is meaningless. I know. I covered it for years. It's just fun. It's a past time. It's what we hang out with when life starts to become a little too intense. I mean, c'mon who's life doesn't need an outlet? Men like me have our sports. My wife and women like her have their soap operas.

The point is, we know it's just bullshit. Sports and soap operas have virtually the same amount of meaning in everyone's day to day lives. But it's nice to get away. Life can have that manipulating force upon us all and without our silly outlets we'd all just freak out and kill our wives like Drew Peterson(talk about a guy who could've used fantasy baseball in his life).

But I gotta tell you, this jerk-off Michael Vick should just go away. I am sickened by the coverage of ESPN who has a reporter on his front lawn telling us that this douche bag, criminal has come home from jail.

My question is this. Who the hell gives ESPN the godlike right to decide what I want to be covered by my sport's station? Someone needs to monitor these dopes. Michael Vick is a hideous criminal. He's been in jail for two years because he is a horrible member of society. Now all of a sudden he is news because he is coming home from the penitentiary to be on house arrest for the next few months?

Has sports dived so low in the gutter that a guy who is as horrible as this guy has become news? This is a bad person. He is less worthy than the dump I took this morning. This man allowed the death of dogs for his financial advancement. Mind you he was making a small fortune playing in the NFL but still felt that the enjoyment of watching dogs fight to the death was worth even more. This is not a decent human being.

Still ESPN has reporters camped outside this guy's house to tell us when he arrives home from jail! They show over and over his car arriving at his house. Who the frick cares? No one should care about this piece of garbage human being. It is nausiating.

This is a bad guy. He wants to come back and play in the NFL If this happens people and fans across America should boycott the games he plays.

Sports leagues across the country need to learn two simple words....Lifetime ban. Pieces of garbage like Michael Vick have no place in our sport past times. We don't need the likes of this guy in our sports. He needs us. "You lose, Buddy. I don't care that you run fast. I don't care that you can throw the ball a long ways. You disrespected the league, you're gone."

How in God's name am I supposed to explain to my five year old son who wants to know everything, and I mean everything, about every sports game that is on TV about how this horrible human being who literally sanctioned dog fighting and the inevitable death of hundreds of dogs at his hands is playing football in the NFL? Do I have to tell my son it's because he can run fast? Do I tell him it's because the owners and the people who run the NFL can't resist the fact this horrible human being is a good player?

What a joke. There is no place in sports for this criminal. Bottom line...he's a criminal. If the NFL allows this horrible human being to play again because "he's fast" or whatever, they are admitting that the sport has nothing to do with sportsmanship but everything to do with dollarship. As a fan of football for almost my whole life, this would be irreconcilable.

As someone who has a dog.....if Michael Vick ever looked at my dog, Townshend, I'd have to kick his ass and I'd be happy doing it. Because my dog is a member of my family and quite frankly, no one messes with my family.

The Worst of Getting Old

You know what the worst part about getting older is? No, it's not my aching bones and joints. It's not the gray hair that appears on my head, my beard and even in my privates. It's not the understanding of days gone by....like realizing I lived a life without a tv remote or a life without cd's or a life without ATM's that the people of today can't comprehend. The worst thing about growing older is that people who have touched your life and/or a part of the people you know who make up your life start to die.

When you're young the thought of people you love dying is so far from your thought process. Dying isn't something the young and carefree think about. But as you get older, it starts to happen. People you know or have known or people that your best friends care the most about start to go on.

I kinda like getting older. I think part of my problem is that I was the youngest in my family. It's fun for me to pontificate about the joys and sicknesses of my life to my older siblings. I love it that they have to deal with the fact that I am as old as them in so many ways.

But this isn't the worst part. I can deal with the hearing loss. I can deal with eyesight loss. Quite frankly, I can make fun of it comically even though it scares the hell outta me. But dealing with the loss of a family member is what crushes me the most about getting older.

Like it or not. When you get older, more people you have known die. It's a rotten fact of life. But it happens.

One of my best friend's mom had a stroke today. She's not doing well and I'm not sure what the final outcome will be. She is a great woman who made me laugh and made alot of us laugh and smile for a long time. She has always been a caring and giving woman to her children and grandchildren who have loved her and spent quality time with her for years(including yesterday).

If it is time for her to go to heaven I know there is a seat waiting for her. The fact that she raised three boys to be the quality men I know them to be is proof enough for me, let alone Saint Peter.

I hope you who read this blog, knowing the person I am, will join me in giving your thoughts and prayers to my good friend Butch and his two brothers in their tough time of need.

It sucks getting old. But this really sucks for my friends.

Musicals Make Us Lose the Blues!

Okay...this one is on my mind tonite.

Let's rock '70's musical style!






Oh my God! Ha the pun. This is such a great musical. People don't realize, this is the saga of Jesus told by the eyes of Judas. It's amazing. Judas speaks of the idiocy of Jesus' actions. Why does he do the things he does? This is a brilliant musical written with beautiful 70's style music. The heart and soul of the music makes it amazing. I grew up with this playing on LP in my home and I play it today on cd in my car(oh well so goes the 21st century!).

Let me plug in some more tunes.....

Dig this....



For the sake of the nation....this Jesus must die....




I only wanna know....



What are you waiting for? Go rent it! Thank me later.

Gotta Feel Bad for the Blackhawk Fans

Wins are wins. Especially when you are the reigning Stanley Cup Champions. The only win that really matters is the win in which each and every player on your team gets a chance to skate around the ice holding Lord Stanley's Cup high over his head.

That is why I didn't get over exuberant at my friend's house(because once again I don't have Versus and must pawn off my friends to see the hockey playoffs) when the Red Wings won in overtime tonite. It was a good, hard fought win.

It takes four games to win a series. The next two are in Chicago and believe me these freaking nuts in this town will be screaming until the rafters come down in support of their team.

This is a great series for the Blackhawks. Their young players can learn so much from the Red Wings' grit and fire to win.

Unfortunately for all my neighbors and local friends this series is all but over....oh yeah my loving wife too! "Sorry Honey, we got ya."

I am surrounded by Blackhawk fans. They are so fired up for their young upstart team. I have been as humble as possible.

Now, leading 2 games to none, if the Red Wings can steal a victory in Chicago this upcoming weekend, they will be able to seal the deal at home in game 5 at Joe Louis Arena(as I predicted before the series.....but my Blackhawk fan friends will never admit it).

I feel bad for my Blackhawk fan friends. Really. My favorite Chicago team is the Hawks. I'm a hockey fan. They're an original six team. How could I not be? But when they play the Wings, all bets are off. But this series looks to be over.

The only way the Hawks could get back in it would be if the Red Wings started taking them for granted......kinda like I am right now. But their coach will never let that happen. He's the only coach in the NHL that could follow Scottie Bowman as coach of the Red Wings. Mike Babcock is that good!

There are still two games left for the Wings to win before the series is concluded. But living in the Chicago area, I couldn't be more excited for the competitiveness of the rest of the games in this series and I am rooting for it.

After all, these are the games of our series and dammit we're gonna enjoy them!

The Media is Getting Dangerous

In case you care, my daughter is fine. Fever broke early this morning and after a couple hours of milking it with her father all is good. She is virtually back to normal.

Her father on the other hand is less than that. I spent some hours watching our vaunted news stations today/evening and I am just sickened by what I see and hear. The time we spend as viewers and literal pawns to these news(I have a hard time calling them this) shows is appalling. Sometimes I wonder if the viewers in our country who watch these self proclaimed experts spew their falsely important excitement about sideshow bullshit in our faces don't realize it's all just showmanship.

I sat in my living room and watched story after story that focused on politicians who lie, former presidents who tried too hard and the dumbest of all dumbest time spent on news, what a beauty pageant wanna be made comments about.

I'm not a moron. I know politicians lie. They do all the time. Often times the best ones are the politicians who lie and know how not to get caught. Believe me if being a teenager and being a politician were compatible, I'd be governor of Illinois(but then again, you don't even have to get elected to that post these days).

I think water-boarding those assholes to find Bin Laden is the least of my worries. If I were Bush I would've shot them in the balls to find out where that piece of garbage is hiding. Mess with us, we mess with you. This is just a way for people against the policies of our former president to get back at him. I say you're wasting your time on something that didn't even work. Bin Laden would be dead if the torture techniques had worked. And by the way, if Dick Cheney basically informed the president of his procedures what's the big deal. We as a people elected George Bush to 2, count 'em, 2 terms in office. Please, if we didn't think Cheney was making some major decisions I don't think Bush would've beat Gore. Gore's VP candidate was Lieberman. "Maybe we should torture them....oh maybe we shouldn't....crap I don't know." Yeah, that's what we all wanted. Look if Cheney was Gore's running mate it's a landslide. People in this country knew Cheney was a badass and would do what it took no matter what the cost.

By the way, he shot his friend in the face! The only question there was how dumb was his friend? You wouldn't catch me dead hunting with Dick Cheney....talk about your basic no-brainers.

Pelosi's a liar. She's busted. Let's move on. Make some other liar the speaker what's the difference. We've spent too much time already on this. She lied. Bush lied. Cheney lied. Clinton lied. Bush's dad lied. Kennedy lied. Truman lied. Good Lord they all freaking lie. I don't give a rat's ass. They are all a bunch of liars. I'd run for office but I'm not a good liar! I have some great ideas but the people want someone who lies to them. Let's stop crucifying these idiots when they get busted for lying. We are spending too much energy on it.

Crap, we vote for who can lie the best. Obama lied. McCain lied. They all lie!

The country is in turmoil. The news tonite spent more time on a beauty pageant contestant who made a comment that people responded to negatively. I can't believe I'm giving this space on my blog but I'll make it quick. WHO THE HELL CARES WHAT A BEAUTY PAGEANT CONTESTANT SPEAKS ABOUT? I SAY AGAIN. THIS IS A BEAUTY PAGEANT CONTESTANT. Is this what it has come to?

If my 5 year old daughter says she likes dogs better than gays, is she going to appear on Keith Olberman's show tonite?

Let me make this simple.

This country needs jobs.

We need to find a way to get the money out of the greedy corporate leaders who won't share and into the economy. There is no trickle down anymore.

If you want to know a little insight to the news stations you are watching, take notice of the commercials they run. GE/NBC runs spots for insurance companies. FOX runs commercials for GE. They are all in this together. They are playing us like pawns on a chess board.....useless but serving a purpose.

These news stations have taken over our coverage of what is important in this country. So much so, that the Republican party is scrambling to stay afloat(if you won't admit it, you're not paying attention). We as a country need the GOP. We need both parties to keep us going. What we don't need is a smokescreen of nonsense getting us fired up over issues that are smaller than the overall scope of destruction.

Not one station tonite(I watch them all....I am not partisan....basically because I don't trust any of them) discussed the country's need for work and how any actions were helping it happen quicker.

I can't help but think one of the reasons this is not being discussed by these pompous, arrogant windbags is that they have jobs. They're getting paychecks.

Unfortunately, the poor saps watching this unimpressive dribble of news aren't!

Janie's Got a 101

Man it sucks when your daughter has a fever. Her cheeks get red and she's so lethargic. She just wants to lay her head on my lap. My poor girl.

When my boy gets sick, he just plays as if nothing's different but then he just falls down and sleeps where he is because his body can't take anymore. He doesn't realize he's sick, he just can't keep up his usual pace without actually realizing it.

My daughter is a girl. She doesn't roll that way. She knows she's feeling shitty and milks it for all the snuggly, lovey'ness she can get out of it(5 year old version of her mother in every way!).

It is pretty cute though. I put her to bed tonite and I thought she was sleeping. I whispered to her after laying her in her bed, "If you feel bad in the nite, just come to Daddy's bed and I'll hold you until you feel better."

She whispered back to me, "Okay Daddy. I love you."

It was pretty cool.

It sucks when she doesn't feel good. But selfishly, it's kinda nice because all she wants is for her Daddy to hold her. I don't get that very often. Of course she wants me to hold her all friggin day long and that gets a little nutty. But still. What human being wouldn't want their offspring to want to have them hold them all day long? Even is she has a 102 fever. And you know I'm gonna have the same cold next week!

But still. I get to hold my daughter all day long. This is better than a Red Wing victory! Really it is.

Don't misunderstand. My son and I were the only ones in a house full of hockey fans today rooting for the Red Wings. And when the Wings scored Michael screamed and screamed. Then he high fived me 10 times in a row. Then he danced around the room. He was so great that a few Blackhawk fans in the room said, "We're not coming back here next week."

But tomorrow my daughter will be not feeling well all day. I'll have to hold her all day long.

I feel bad for her....but truthfully, not for me.

P.S. She'll be fine. It's just a fever.

Why Are We Competing?

President Obama presented the commencement speech to the 2009 graduating class at Notre Dame today. Pro or Con you owe it to yourself to read his speech...don't just listen...that's B.S. read it....http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/05/17/obama-notre-dame-speech-f_n_204387.html

I'm not a fool. I realize he has some of the best scholars in the world writing his speeches, but damn they're good. Reading it is so much better than listening. You can skim over the pomp and circumstance but read and re-read the important verbiage.

This was a tricky speech. With all the hatred toward our President from the Catholic hypocrites who think the sanctity of the church is still what it once was, Obama was in a no-win situation. But this speech was brilliant.

Do I really need to discuss the hypocrisy of the Catholic faith? How many young boys have been molested by priests over the last few decades? How much money is being spent from parishioner donations toward legal fees? How many decent men who practiced proper ethics were made to be scapegoats for the better of the Catholic church? Shall I go on?

If I know anything about being a true Catholic it has little to do with the church and their political hypocrisy and more to do with being a good man who is honest to himself, his family and his friends.

But Obama handled this speech with grace. Read....

We must decide how to save God's creation from a changing climate that threatens to destroy it. We must seek peace at a time when there are those who will stop at nothing to do us harm, and when weapons in the hands of a few can destroy the many. And we must find a way to reconcile our ever-shrinking world with its ever-growing diversity - diversity of thought, of culture, and of belief.

In short, we must find a way to live together as one human family.

C'mon, this guy has some awesome speech writers! Am I right?

Okay, you're not convinced. Not a problem. I got more.
Check this segment of his speech out....it's beautiful....

recognizing that our fates are tied up, as Dr. King said, in a "single garment of destiny" - is not easy. Part of the problem, of course, lies in the imperfections of man - our selfishness, our pride, our stubbornness, our acquisitiveness, our insecurities, our egos; all the cruelties large and small that those of us in the Christian tradition understand to be rooted in original sin. We too often seek advantage over others. We cling to outworn prejudice and fear those who are unfamiliar. Too many of us view life only through the lens of immediate self-interest and crass materialism; in which the world is necessarily a zero-sum game.

The imperfections of man...selfishness, pride, stubbornness....i love the use of "acquisitiveness"....what an eloquent word....I'm not embarrassed to mention I looked it up...it means....tending or seeking to acquire and own, often greedily; eager to get wealth, possessions, etc.: our acquisitive impulses; acquisitive societies....so there I got a little dictionarial on everyone, so be it! Basically he's talking about be a competitive society. I am so sick and tired of everyone being so freaking competitive. If you haven't figured out by now it doesn't matter who wins or loses, it's what makes us all happier, than you're just being an idiot!

Our world need leaders, not competitors! This is just ridiculous. Why is it the smartest people in the world feel they must compete against each other? Why not work together?

I swear to God(whoever he may be) competition is what is ruining our world. Not even our country....we already know this, but our world.

Stubbornness and competitiveness are the the most ignorant emotions intelligent people can display. The sooner smart people figure this out, the better off our entire planet will be.

In the meantime, I'll just sit back and read a speech from the President of United States to the graduating class at Notre Dame and realize this man gives a shit. Unlike the morons who screamed in protest at him while he delivered it.

At least no one threw a shoe at him!

I Hate Game Seven

I'm so freaking pissed off right now there is steam coming from my ears. My hate-filled wife hung a Blackhawks jersey in our front window tonite. Normally this wouldn't bother me. But the fact that the Red Wings lost last nite to the Ducks in Anaheim forcing a game seven tomorrow nite and the Blackhawks have already clinched their spot in the Conference Finals is just not sitting right with me.

I don't care if she's got the right. I don't care that she can sail the jersey in her pride of the nice run the Hawks have had to this point in the playoffs. I don't care. Do you hear me I don't care.

So now that it's clear. The fact that I won't be speaking to her for the next few weeks is out in the open, I can get on with it.

If the Wings don't win tomorrow I'm gonna puke. I hate game sevens. I've seen too many bad bounces and funny ricochets to know better. I cannot live in this town without the Wings winning and facing the Blackhawks.

I have been through many Blackhawk/Red Wings playoff series. It's ugly for me. I'm the only one rooting for the Winged Wheel. But I don't care. I've been rooting for this team since I was five. There is nothing I want more than a Blackhawk/Red Wing series. I will be with fans of hockey for every game of the series. Win or lose we will all shake hands like the players do at the end of each playoff series.

You see the Blackhawks and the Red Wings are two of the original six teams in hockey. The fans of these two teams are woven from the same string. We bleed the colors of our teams. It is one of the reasons I am a silent Blackhawk fan. But not when they play the Red Wings. That is a horse of a different color.

We need this. We need a Blackhawk/Red Wing series. A series that decides which team is worthy to represent in the Stanley Cup Finals.

I like to call it natural selection. I am a friendly person. I like most people. But for some reason the best friends I have made since moving to this area are hockey fans. My best friends all love the game played on ice. It's a little freaky. My best friends and I have always had hockey in common. We have gone to games together. We have watched games together and enjoyed the sweet science that is the game of hockey for over 20 years.

The Wings face a game seven tomorrow nite and if anyone who knows about hockey, I'll say it again, anything can happen in game seven. They just gotta win. All I care about is the puck drop at 6pm my time tomorrow. We gotta win.

My son told me today...."Daddy, I'm not from Detroit but my favorite teams are!" What a kickass kid!

I'll suck it up tonite and tomorrow with the jersey in my window but if the Wings can win tomorrow I'll hang my Red Wings jersey up next to the one in my window. We'll see who's jersey will hang there during the Finals.

Otherwise, it'll be real quiet in my house for the next couple weeks.

Yul Brynner's Got Nothing on Me

I shaved my head last nite. Yep, swear to God. I shaved it down to a mere stubble. For all intense and purposes I'm bald. Not really, I do have some hair on my head but not much. The funny thing is I'm not sure why I did it.

I know I was extremely sick and tired of the length of my hair. It was unruly and was forcing me to take way too much time in the shower. You see time in the shower as a stay at home dad is critical. If a dad spends too much time in the shower the climbing monkeys known as my children will find their way into cabinets and what not and by the time the shower is over my children are knee deep in candy, cookies, bug spray you name it. The shower for a stay at home dad can only last three minutes....tops. I don't even take the time to put a robe on. Get out of the shower, brush the hair, rub on some deodorant and race naked into the kitchen to see how far they have gotten. If I can exclude the brushing the hair part it makes it that much shorter. You may think this little amount of time is minuscule and therefore meaningless. But in reality(and believe me this is my reality), it can be the difference between a mere effort to reach the box of cereal on top of the refrigerator to actually retrieving it and spewing it all over the living room floor sharing mouthfuls with your sibling and the friggin dog! Nothing ruins a shower more than exiting the bathroom to a living room full of messy, mess, mess, messy mess!

Sometimes I can't even believe the things I write. All the trials and tribulations I have been through in my life have brought me to this....I actually care about the house getting trashed. I've said it before and I'll say it again. Life is a bitch. Sometimes she's a nasty one too.

Back to my head.

I think I just needed a change. If you think about the generations and eras that have come and gone. Hair is a really weird gauge for it all. It says something about time.

The fifty's had the duck-tail and the greased down look. The sixty's started the grow it long stage. The seventies had the side burns from hell. The eighty's was the big hair era for the woman. The ninety's was the era of the mullet. Man, I had a sweet one! But the 2000's or whatever we're calling it doesn't seem to show anything significant when it comes to hair. If anything it has fallen back to retro styles.

I have always been one who rolls the way I roll. I have never truly had the in-style hair for the era I was living. I have always been either behind the times or ahead of the times. But it was always what I wanted to have my hair to look like not what everyone else looked like.

Today I am bald.

Maybe I am making a statement. Maybe I'm just looking for attention(there's a stretch). Or maybe I need a quicker shower. I really don't know. I do know that being a stay at home dad can sink you into a rut so bad you search exhaustingly to find a way out of it. Sometimes it's the little things that bring you back up.

Hey, it's just hair.

For now and the next few weeks my head will look like my friend Rick's head. The only difference is that mine will grow back!

I could talk about the death of ELO's bass player in February of this year, but really I just want to post this great video/song...I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

My Mothers Three

So it's Mother's Day. What a great day. My wife likes to have Mother's Day Weekend. This pretty much means I spend the entire weekend taking care of the children, cooking food for her and tending to her every whim(did I miss it somewhere that she's not my wife but my Mom?). But I take care of her this weekend because she is a great Mom to my children and that fact alone makes me love her all the more! Besides it's alot easier these days than when the children were babies and I had to change every diaper and take care of every feeding for an entire weekend. Now that was over and above the call of husbandry duty, but I still performed to my best because respecting the Mother isn't hard to accomplish.

On Mother's Day every year I think of 3 very influential women in my life who have helped me be the man I am today. Making the statement, the man I am today is so very important to me because I feel I am ever formulating it. Even at 44 I don't feel I have learned all the key factors that define the man I am today yet. But I'm working on it!

Obviously, my Mom is the first. She is a saint and as I have said often her seat in heaven is reserved for her for the shit I put her through in raising me. There aren't words enough to describe her, let alone her love and caring for me. She has always been there for me. She always knows when I need a hug, when I need a slap in the face or when I just need a shoulder to lean on. She's an amazing woman and I wish people I know could have a Mom as great as mine. There is literally not a soul on this earth I love more than her and she's knows it. That's why we can talk about anything. I never keep thoughts from her. I tell her exactly how I feel and she does the same to me. Her love and caring has made me the man I am today and for that I am forever indebted to her.....Thanks Mom, you rule!

Next is my wife. For 10 years we tried to have a baby. With the help of technology and luck we have two beautiful children. When I see this woman with my children sometimes I just want to weep. I don't think I could find a better person to not only be the mother of my children but also be a terrific wife to a guy like me. She is remarkable. By the way, my own mother tells me often how lucky I am to have found a woman like my wife.....this works for me(personally I think my wife is the first woman I have ever been with that my Mom has liked. But give it some thought, who wouldn't be picky when your youngest brings someone home).

The third woman in my life that I always think about on Mother's Day is my oldest sister, Judy. She's a great person. I love her to death. We all have family nuances. Ours was no different. I was the youngest of 4. Judy was the oldest. This was no easy task. She broke my parents in...if you will. By the time life got around to me, my folks had been through so much, raising me was all a matter of experience(thanks in large part to Judy).

You see, being the youngest I had to be watched often. This job fell to Judy. She watched over me like no one else in my life. She literally protected me. I can't speak for my other siblings but as far as I'm concerned she watched over all of us. I can say right now I am a better person today because my sister Judy wasn't afraid to kick my ass when I was being an ass! And she did. She still does.

When I got older, Judy was my best friend. I told her everything. She told me everything. We never had inhibitions or worries what the other thought, we always just knew we were a team. She has always been the one person I can agree or disagree with and not have to worry about the consequences.

I can remember one time talking with her on her porch when I had learned she was moving to Texas to marry the man she was living with because he got a job there. My whole family was upset she was going to leave the state and be so far away. I asked her, "Is this what you really want? Is this the man you want to marry?"

She said to me, "I know he is because he reminds me of you so much!"

Are you kidding? This woman who I look up to so much told me this. I was in awe.

My big sister doesn't have any children. She's been married to the same man for 20 something years and they are happy. I know what it's like to try for years and get lucky but I don't know what it's like to try for years and not get lucky.

Life is unfair in so many ways. My big sister is the best nurturing human I know. She would be the greatest Mom. I know because of how she had a hand in raising me. In the meantime she spoils the crap out of my children and my other sister's children and I can tell you my kids love her as much as I do and I know that makes her feel good inside.

I hope Judy looks at me the same way I look at my children, with pride because she has every right to. She's one of my best friends but she also helped raise me to be the man I am today.

The Wings and I Were on the Road Tonite

I love sports. I don't even know why. I'm not sure if it's the escape I need from everyday life or maybe it's because when I played sports as a child I always played as if I would someday make it to the big leagues. Or maybe it's genetic and it just seeped into me through my father who listened or watched every possible game that was being broadcast. Whatever the reason, it's in me.

Being from the Detroit area my allegiance to the Tigers and the Lions will always be within my heart. But....bottom line?....when it comes right down to it, my favorite team is and always will be the Detroit Red Wings! I bleed red(I know we all do but that's the pun)!

The NHL is in disarray and as you may find it hard to believe the fault lies almost solely on the ridiculous commissioner, Gary Bettman. What an idiot. I am so sick and tired of these fools running our sports into the ground when all we as fans want is something to cheer about. Think about it, there is alot we can be stressing about in today's world, but sports gives us this stupid outlet that we get to care about even if it's not really worthy of caring about. Am I making any sense? I just read this paragraph again and I'm not even sure what the hell I'm talking about. Rest assured, I will plod on.

The TV rights to NHL games have been bought by a channel called Versus. It used to be called the Outdoor Network but some genius thought calling it Versus would be so catchy! Whatever. The fact is, I don't get this freaking network. I don't get to watch hockey games because the games are on some obscure cable TV network. Apparently my carrier is a competitor of the carrier that owns the Versus channel and they won't let us have it. Well ain't that a kick in the shins!

This leads me to my point(I know it's about time but really I've been watching hockey all nite long and drinking beers so forgive me if I ramble slightly). Thank God for good friends! Yep, I said it. Rock on my good friends. My friend Amy had me, my wife and my children over to her house to watch the Blackhawks playoff game that started at 7pm. Then she allowed me to watch the Red Wings game that started at 9:30pm until it's joyous conclusion(a 6-3 Wings win). What a cool woman.

Here I was grinning from ear to ear as the Wings posted their potent victory over the demonous(I like this word....to my literary friends...I know the word doesn't exist but the hockey players from Anaheim are demonous....it fits and if I have to make up words to fit my blog than I will....so there!) Ducks from Anaheim in my friend's living room as she slept like a baby in her bedroom above(my wife had long since took the children home since she came up with the brilliant idea for me to ride my bike to Amy's house so she could take the kids home after the Hawk's game).

Side note...it seems I'm using alot of parenthesis in this blog tonite. I'm not sure why but it seems to fit(maybe it's because I'm so geeked about the Wings winning tonite).

I know I will do something special for her in the near future for letting me watch my team play tonite. I'll cook her and her kids a nice meal or......I'll cook a nice meal.....that's pretty much all I got at this point....but she doesn't want it. She knew how important it was to me to watch this hockey game tonite and she was proud to be the one who hooked me up.

You see, I'm so geeked the Red Wings won tonite. The series is tied 2-2 and we're headed back to the Joe for game 5 and it's gonna be a great playoff series to the end. But you don't care and really Amy doesn't either. But what she does care about is doing something for a friend that really makes him happy.

Sports is pretty meaningless. I get it. But there are times when sports can bring out the best in people and make our relationships just a little bit better.

I felt really good when I turned out all the lights in my friend's house tonite and locked the door behind me. Because I knew she trusted me to do that. It's a cool feeling to have friends who care.

One other thing. I did Amy's daughter's math homework and left it on the living room table!

I'm Getting Over Getting Old

I'm 44 years old. It is amazing how each year you cross over teaches you different things. Mind you I was 39 when my children were born so the speed of my post-40 days have progressed at a rate that is basically unnatural. I'm am so freaking old today! At times I just can't believe it.

I can't read a box score in the paper without my glasses. And by the way, my glasses are bi-focals today!!!

It's just getting scary/stupid. I say stupid because I have never lived my life thinking of the consequences of the future....I never will. I am a huge believer in live for today.

I did two things this week that I have been doing for the last, well almost 20 years. I went to the New Orleans Jazz Festival and I went to a Grateful Dead concert. Let me tell you the truth today....I am dust!

There was a time in my life I could do these things on top of each other like this week when it wouldn't effect me one iota. I'm not lying. I could burn that candle at both ends and when it was gone I could say, "Bring on the next one!"

Now it's like, "You've got to be kidding me? We're going to a Dead Show tonite?"

Not only am I tired as shit, but my body is screaming at me. There is so much walking we do in New Orleans.....for that matter there was so much walking we did last nite at the Dead Show in the parking lot/festival that is the Dead Show pre-show, there isn't enough Glycosimin in the world that could make my knees respond positively to this abuse. It's insane. I'm not good with getting old.

But I must say, in this day and age, it sure is nice to have a pair of glasses that I can wear that allows me to see....just see. I watched the Red Wings game the other day without my glasses for the first period and it was great. You know, it's the hockey playoffs and life is good watching my favorite team with my son wearing his #9 jersey that has "Michael" written on the back. But after the first, I put my glasses on and I was just in awe. I was like, "You must be freaking kidding me? I can see the puck! This is great!" And it was. I push against my glasses wearing because I have never really needed them unless I have been pushing my eyes too much.....i.e. a job that has me on the computer all day. But this was better than my veiness. This was beyond my ridiculous anti-glasses thing that probably came from high school. I was happy again! I could see the puck! It was like learning what offsides meant!

I guess my point is this. Life can be a blast no matter what age you are. It doesn't matter if you have to take Glycosimin for your joints(hey live 35 years at 6'3" and tell me your knees don't ache) or after turning 40 you need bifocals or even if you need that tremendous little blue pill to make your life better, the point is we are able to experience the events in our lives that make us the happiest. And in large part it's because we have the tools to help us through it all. We need not be afraid. This is what we do.

Whether it's a trip to one of the greatest cities in America for the wonderful cuisine and amazing musicians that you will experience or a chance to see one of you favorite bands play what most likely will be their last hurrah, you gotta suck it up. Life only happens once. Get after it.

I must tell you a funny story....of course it will be funnier to those who aren't as sore as me today but I'll tell it anyway. I made my way to the bathroom during the concert last nite. We were on the second floor and the bathrooms were on the first floor. As I made my way down the stairs I took the first step and noticed that they seemed a slight bit slippery.....at the same moment I went down...you see my shoes had some slime on the bottom and the combination of my slimy shoes and the slimy stairs said, "Dude, you're going down!" And down I went.

I slid down those stairs on my ass for a flight. The problem was I reached for the railing to save me but I was too far in the middle of the stairway.......As I flung my hand to grab the rail I caught nothing but air and my hand slammed against the stair that I happened to be sliding along. Needless to say, typing this blog tonite is as painful as any other blog I have written because my index finger must have ripped backward in a way I'm sure it doesn't like me to extend. It ripped backward so far double jointed people would've been shocked. Today it is a balloon-like digit on my right hand. The best thing was that there was virtually no one on the stairway at the time of my spill, so nobody laughed at my sliding down a flight of stairs on my ass!

I will never stop doing the things that make me happy. I will go through hell and high water to have a good time. This includes time with my family and friends. My family knows I will travel through some of the most difficult weather to be with them for Christmas, and I have. I will push myself through pain in my joints to see my favorite band. I will always go the extra mile for the things that make me happy no matter the consequences to my slowing recognizably ancient body.....screw it, if it makes you happy you gotta be happy.

I guess I look at it this way....the guys in the Grateful Dead last nite are all in their 60's(at least) and they're still giving people like me a night out with my friends that makes me a better man tomorrow. I sure can suck it up and deal with a little pain of being older to feel better about myself.

Because the bottom line is this....if you don't do the things that make you feel good because you're getting older than you've just given up.

The day I give up is the day they dig 6 feet down.

It's a Grateful Dead Night!

Going to another Grateful Dead experience tonite. If you haven't been, you are missing something truly memorable....Here's a taste from 1977!

It's Good to Get Away

I just got back from taking a trip out of town with my wife. We just got away! After being with her for a few hours I said to her, "I've had more fun and have laughed more with you in the last 6 hours than I have had in the last 6 months!" Mind you this was only during our flights(I say flights because we had a stopover and I don't need to tell you how bad that sucks)!

Life can be a bitch. I'm sorry but there really isn't any other way to put it. Marriage is a bitch in itself. Men and women are not even closely related. To be together for an extended period of years is monumental. People don't realize it. I am lucky enough to have been married to the same woman for 16 years. Whenever I think she's driving me crazy, I think about what my life would be without her. I can't go there. I'm lucky. She rocks! I'm one of the lucky ones, I have a woman who makes me a better man.

When she told me she wanted to take a short trip this week I said all the logical things....."we can't afford it"....."it doesn't make sense"......"let's get the garage door fixed"....blah, blah, blah.

She said, "We need this."

I didn't realize the emphasis was on we.

She was so right. We had so much fun together. At one point she said to me, "Stop talking to me you're making me laugh too much!"

I love making my wife laugh. It probably is the one thing in my life that makes feel the best. She has the best laugh.

Don't get me wrong. We missed our kids immensely. We called home every day, all day while we were gone(by the way it was only four days and three nights). But I can't tell you how important it is to be together as a couple and remember why it is this is happening.

Everything we do these days is about our family. We travel together. We camp together. We hang out with our friends and their kids together. We do everything together. Basically, we sacrifice our relationship together for our children. We do this open-hearted. We don't even think twice about it.

But being able to spend the last few days with my wife in a setting that was just about us(as selfish as it may seem), made everything better.

Think about it. If you have children, you know they react to the mother-father relationship in a huge way. We as parents need to make sure our relationship is strong and happy so our children will respond properly.

I know that loving my wife makes my children happier...and after this time away I spent with her they are really happy!

NASCAR Needs a Change

I need to do some catching up. Let's see how well I can tackle this. If you watched the last video I posted, you saw a race car almost fly into the stands and harm people watching the race. There were people injured in the stands from this crash and thankfully after being air-lifted to the nearest hospital all were okay. This is a good thing obviously.

The dumb thing is that NASCAR believes that the way they have taken care of this scary situation is sound and the reality is that it is just a band-aid on a sliced artery.

There are different race tracks in racing. Let's put it this way, there are speedways, short tracks and super speedways. The problem is with the super speedways. There are two of these. The problem lies in the fact that the two super speedways are two of the most storied tracks on the circuit.....Daytona and Talledega. These two tracks are about 2.5 miles for every lap. They are banked at such a degree and so wide on the racetrack that cars can move at over 200mph during every lap.

The problem lies in that a few years back, a race car traveling at over 220mph lost control and flew into the stands killing several people who were just watching a NASCAR race. The powers that be decided the way to fix this problem was to attach a restrictor plate on every car's carburetor to not allow the speed of the car to exceed 210mph. The plate restricts the air flow into the carburetor and controls the top speed of the car.

What this does is make all the cars have a top speed that is the same. Now we see 43 cars all bunched up at 200+ mph and the danger is extreme. At every restrictor plate race we see at least one to three accidents that gobble up the entire field and endanger not only drivers but fans. It is ridiculous.

At the tracks that are short tracks or speedways, we see racing that is exciting and strategic. These restrictor plate races are just stupid.

NASCAR must do something. It's time to either get rid of these tracks or lower the banking so cars can't move so fast around the track. These two tracks are the only tracks that a driver puts his foot on the gas pedal and pushes it to the floor the entire way around the track.

For those of us who enjoy this sport, something must be done. We as fans can't be endangered and our favorite drivers can't be endangered by having to drive within these ridiculous rules!