Tommy Serritella's Blog

2009-08-23T04:14:00.000-05:00

Define Career To Me

2009-07-23T21:53:00.005-05:00

It's been way too long and I apologize. I have been so focused on work that everything else has taken a back seat. Too much. I realized this when today I took my obligatory nap in my bed after work and I had my daughter crooked in my arm because I put Curious George on the bedroom TV. She was so happy to watch with me. Of course after the show was over she told me, "Daddy, while you were sleeping it was raining really hard outside." Ooops...busted.

Work has been good. I work hard and the people I work with seem to like me. It's a little weird because I used to be the boss and now I'm the worker. It's fine because I'm getting paid good money. Better money than the people who worked for me. Is "for me" the best choice of words? I guess they are because I was the person responsible for their effort. I was the person responsible for fighting for their cause. I was the person responsible for arguing why they deserved better pay. All along I was the person responsible for realizing the pros and cons of making a business profitable and successful and how it effected them.

Today it's different. I'm not that high up. I'm first level(I'm not even sure what that means but c'mon it can't be all that high up). Compared to the craziness that was running a sports radio station to what I'm dealing with now is just silliness. My boss isn't Jerry Reinsdorf. He's just a guy working for his paycheck like me.

People at my company aren't doing what they do because it was a career choice. This is a job they can perform and make decent money doing it. Because face it, after awhile you start to realize it isn't about having a career you can brag to your friends about, but it's about making enough money to keep your family happy and well fed!

I work with people who could bump my old boss at the radio station out of his position because they are 50 times smarter and know how to keep a business afloat. Intelligence is so underrated. I am in awe of the accomplishments of my co-workers. Understand this, not many people go to college and pick a career choice that states, "I want to schedule technicians for AT&T." But for whatever reason, these people are here and have the personal drive to do the best job possible. Even when they could just skate by and collect a paycheck not caring. It's impressive. I wish you could see it. It motivates me every day.

The fucked up thing about it all is this. When I worked in the radio business all I ever cared about was making good sounds come out of the speakers that everyday people were hearing. I knew deep down that a good sound from those speakers would meld into people wanting to pay to be a part of it and in the end programming and sales would become a unity toward a successful business.

But the regrettable fact is this. The people making the decisions are not career driven like I was. All they care about is their paycheck. They have forgotten about their career mission. The mission to make good noise coming from people's speakers and selling that beautiful noise. Instead it has become an irritable montage of broken dreams and unsuccessful ideas just so the chosen few can keep their nice houses.

As I moved up the ladder in radio I came to the realization, no one wanted to hear the truth, they just wanted to hear they were right.

Radio is failing because anyone who speaks out about their true feelings about how to make terrestrial radio successful are ignored and eventually let go because he/she just doesn't fit into the norm. The norm being people who will compromise their beliefs to protect a paycheck. Bummer for us.

Someone needs to take me aside and define the word career to me. I always thought I knew the meaning of the word until I had children.

I'm Back but Confused

2009-06-13T22:44:00.002-05:00

So I started a new job this week. It's not really a new job, it's the job I got laid off from last year. But thankfully they thought enough of me to want me back when the need arose. Here I am. 7:00am to 3:30pm. They're great hours. But my alarm goes off at 5:30am and I leave the house by 6:30am. It's a little different from waking up at 9:00am and making chocolate milk for the kids. My body is screaming at me. But it's all good.

Today is my first Saturday in a long time that I feel that I earned it. Don't get me wrong. Taking care of the kids and the house is more than a full time job, but as a man it just doesn't get you there. It's hard to explain. I don't want to downplay anyone but being a stay at home parent is a bitch.

It's nice because you are your own boss.....but really is this true? Your boss becomes your spouse. This can be the worst thing anyone could plague you with. I'm not going further. Being married is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Now that we share children I got nothing. It's insane. I care about nothing else. These three people are what make me, me. I care about other things but nothing compares to my devotion to these people. But when you're the guy who's home with the kids instead of the woman who carried them in her womb, not being an asshole is almost impossible no matter how clean the kitchen is.

I love working like I have never before. I work with a lot of people who don't like what they do. But I love it. I'm almost too giddy. I don't have to clean the house or wipe a shitty butt(sorry Judy). I get to work at a job that I believe in. I truly believe the UVerse system will help almost every American family. It will save people money and that savings will be spent economically and we will all benefit.

Briefly....I am working w/AT&T like my grandfather. They are working to offer consumers a better and cheaper way to utilize cellphone, television and internet usage. These are things that every American spends money upon. If AT&T can come up with a way to save each and every American a $100 savings per month on these services don't you think that money will come back into the economy and we can start being capitalistic again?

If you get the opportunity to switch to AT&T UVerse do it! I believe it will be our way out! I'm not kidding.

But I digress. Boy I've put some kick ass tunes on this website. I've just been firing them up while I write tonite......"If I can't change your mind"......love Sugar. I hope you all dig some of my favorite tunes. If not, I don't care. My kids and I danced together the last time I put tunes up on the site. We were down in my computer dungeon in the basement dancing away...it was sweet.

When I'm at work I miss my kids so much. But it's so cool when I come home....they run out to my car and even before I can get out of it, they are all over me. I get hugs and kisses like I'd been gone for days. It makes me realize the importance of it all.

I realize that this has been a blog of randomness. But I have missed writing this week. I have pretty much come home from work....spent some time with the kids....had dinner.....and gone to bed. I'm starting to feel better. Next week should work out better and I hope to write some more. Especially since the Stanley Cup Playoffs are over. No Comment.

Thank you for your patience.

2009-06-13T22:40:00.002-05:00

One of my best friends in high school called me and said he had two tickets to Springsteen but no way to get there. I had to break a prescheduled date with my girlfriend at the time to make it happen.....and you know I did. Probably the best decision I ever made. We had the best time at the Joe that night. I choose to remember that night rather than last night!

High Five For Emily!

2009-06-07T00:33:00.002-05:00

One of the wildest things that happens in my life is the young people who I have seen born into this world do really incredible shit.

My niece just graduated from high school yesterday. I'm over 300 miles away and couldn't be there. This hurts me in a big way.

My niece is a strong young woman and the fact her Uncle Tom wasn't there for graduation probably didn't effect her too much. But it did me. I love this girl. I have watched her grow into the young, strong and proud woman she has become all these years. It makes me proud to be her uncle.

The fact is, I'm far away and I can't make it to every event in my niece's life. But that sucks for me and for her too(I hope).

But the bottom line is...I'm so very proud of Emily and I'm excited to experience the growth of the woman she will become(despite the influence of her mother, no offense Peg)......and hopefully I'll get to have some influence in there as well.

It truly is amazing to share the lifetime of young people. They grow in front of your eyes and become adults. My niece is an amazing young woman and I wish nothing but the best for her.

Congrats Em! Now the hard part starts. You get to start figuring out why!

2009-06-06T16:41:00.002-05:00

Good Things are Happening

2009-06-06T00:34:00.003-05:00

Life is so weird. I think part of the reason I write this blog is because life is so weird. I've been unemployed for a few months and it's been great spending time with my children but really I just want to go back to work.

I'm not sure if it's a man thing or just that staying at home with the kids has driven me to a place I'm not sure I would want any other to go. I'm happy to say the time has finally come. I get to go back to work this Monday.

Instead of making chocolate milk and unwrapping breakfast bars every freaking morning of my life, I get to plan my outfit the night before and wake up to my alarm clock! Wooo Hoooo!

I won't be worrying about vacuuming the rug in the living room. I don't have to draw a tub for 5 year olds anymore. I don't have to mop the freaking floors anymore. I don't have to wipe the spit off the mirror in the bathroom anymore.

Yet, that kinda sucks. I'll miss waking my daughter up in the morning by climbing into her bed with her and wrapping my arms around her. I'll miss the questions from my son about which baseball games are on TV today and who's playing.

When I think about the times my beautiful daughter has come to me and said, "Daddy, I'm hungy," and I may have been hesitant to help her quickly I realize I won't be the one feeding her in the future during the day. This kinda sucks.

Taking care of my kids these last few months has been a most difficult chore. But it has probably been the most rewarding job I have ever had. I have built a bond with my two children that will never be broken. As much as we have driven each other crazy we know our limits and know how to keep from them.

I am proud to say that I will be starting a new job next week. In an economy that is shedding jobs, I have somehow landed one. Hopefully this job will keep our family from losing our home and security like so many others have.

While we are extremely happy about this opportunity, I find myself looking back and reflecting. Good Lord I will miss being with my kids all day long! I'm already sad. The things I have watched them achieve and overcome in the last few months is mind boggling. I can't believe I won't be with them each day after next week to observe their growth.

I guess the most important thing that I have learned over the last few months of unemployment is that my kids are GREAT! I love them with all my heart. They blow my mind every day. I will miss them but they will help me through every day because coming home to see them will make it all worth while.

Tunes for the Time Being

2009-06-01T22:30:00.004-05:00

I'm extremely tired and I promised I would watch my kid's favorite cartoon in bed tonite with them and their mother.....so I thought I would send along a couple of nice tunes....enjoy!

I found this one on utube...I was looking for the Rusted Root tune but I liked the Weasley twin tribute as I don't mind saying, I am a fan of these movies.....and have read all the books!

Mike Doughty.....Looking at the World from the Bottom of a Well. This is the first song my son started singing off the radio when he was about 2 years old(he sings many now).

Bob Mould and Sugar...makes me think of my friend Mootsie who's in New Jersey these days.

The Ice Cream Man Cometh

2009-06-01T00:11:00.004-05:00

When I was a child, I used to love hearing the ringing of the ice cream man's truck singing it's song down the street. It could be the next street over or on my street one block away. But when I heard that jingle from that beloved truck......"I walked around the corner and I walked around the block and I walked right in to a donut shop....and I picked up a donut and I licked off the grease and I handed the lady a five cent piece.....Weeeellllllll she looked at the nickle and she looked at me and she said this nickle is no good to me, there's a hole in the middle I can see right through....say I, there's a hole in the donut too!"...I knew there was ice cream in my immediate future. It was an expectation of delight.

I can even remember one day when a couple of friends and myself heard that glorious tune from afar but alas, there was no parent with the fruits of our desire in sight(I mean there was basically no one with any cash to pay for our bounty). I secretly reached into my mother's purse and eureka! A fresh five dollar bill!

You must realize back in the days of my youth, five dollars bought a plethora of ice cream from Mr. Good Humor. My friends and I spent every last penny. We took our treasure inside of the garage of one and ate until each and everyone us almost puked. It was glorious. I was the king. I saved the day. I was the saviour of our Good Humor-ous-ness!

Until I returned home.

I'm not sure how old I was. But let's say I was 7 or 8(at the most). I had no idea how important every single dollar in my mother's wallet was to her. Quite frankly when I took the fiver out of her purse I was sure she would never miss it. There was a bunch of other dollars in there(of course they were probably all ones). The thought I would get caught while I sucked and licked each chocolate eclair to my heart's desire never even crossed my mind. As a matter of fact, when I walked home that evening(after the Serritella whistle), I was as proud as a peacock. Whoops!

When I walked into the buzzsaw that was my father with chocolate around my lips....well let's just say, I never....EVER....took money out of my mother's purse again! I do it to my wife now and again, but sometimes when I slide the bills out of her wallet, I can still feel the sting in my ass from that first time.

After that experience, the ice cream man didn't have all those happy feelings any longer. In fact it was years and years after when I came across this jovial, ice cream spewing, trouble making man again.

I was at my brother-in-law's house. We were playing with his children in the yard. They were about 5 and 8 years old(they're 16 and 13 now and will probably kill me for telling this story). It was a warm sunny day. Everything was cheery and happy until we heard that dreaded jingle(see above. I'm not writing it again).

I saw rage in my brother-in-law's eyes. He turned up the radio in the yard. He started the lawnmower. He started his car and revved the engine. It occurred to me he was trying to make as much noise as possible.

I asked him, "What the hell are you doing?"

He said, "It's that man. He's not gonna beat me this time."

I realized it was the ice cream man and he was trying to drown out the jingle with as much noise in the yard that he could manufacture. I was extremely confused. Why could someone not like the ice cream man?

He explained to me that once you buy ice cream from the ice cream man he now knows where you live. He knows that your kids will beg you to no end until you give in and buy them ice cream from this guy. He knows it, and exploits it. Being the competitive guy he is, my brother-in-law began to make it a quest to best the ice cream man.

I shrugged it off and considering this was almost 10 years before my children were born, I just didn't get it.

Now I do.

I'm telling you this ice cream truck guy knows my kids are listening every minute of every day for his stupid jingle to come down our street and you know we're a staple of his route. He's counting my money before he even pulls onto our block. S.O.B. I hate this guy!

My stupid kids make me buy for everyone on the block too! They always say, "Daddy, what's the number rule?"

I reply, "Share." Then I think to myself why the hell did I teach them that as I dole out the money to this prick in the jingle playing, stupid colored, odd shaped truck? And you know what? Five bucks doesn't even cover my two kid's Spounge Bob Square Pants crappy-ass popcicles. Heck, four of us almost all puked our guts out over five bucks worth of ice cream in my day! Now that I'm paying for it, it's drying me out.

Let me just say....It is On! It's me against him now. We're talking loud music, vacuum cleaners and motor boats. Anything I can use to make a ton of noise to keep my kids from hearing the donut song is my friend!

My brother-in-law warned me. I should have listened to him. But then again there was so much noise happening, who could hear him! Thanks for trying Zack.

Thinking About the Why?

2009-05-27T22:36:00.004-05:00

I've been thinking about why lately. Why do good people pass away. Why do we keep the friendships we have lost. Why do we go the extra mile for our spouses. Why do we forgive our siblings forever and ever. Why?

Why can really mess you up. I can find myself in a why conundrum and feel I must fight myself out. But sometimes fighting my way out is the worst thing I can do. Sometimes just dealing with the why and accepting it as it is can make me a better person. Understanding the why can be uplifting.

I know why I write this blog. I'm an emotional and opinionated person and having the forum to express myself makes me a better person. This is where I get my Tom on. I can tell you that my ability to express myself in this blog has made me an easier person to deal with to the people who deal with me on a day to day basis(they tell me all time how I am so much more easy going than I used to be...which by the way kind of pisses me off......because I've always been a fun loving kind of guy....oh never mind). Apparently, having a venue to vent my thoughts is easier on the people I know than having them hear it from me first hand!

There will be times when I will be asked certain opinions about certain opinionated subjects by people who don't know that I will subject them to the opinionated honesty they don't necessarily want to hear and get what others may describe as destroyed by me. This has become widely known as being....."Tom'd".

I have many friends, acquaintances and family members who have been Tom'd. They don't hold it against me, but they know when it may come and quite frankly they asked for it.

I don't Tom people who don't ask me for my opinion. I don't Tom people who I am just having conversation with about whatever it is they feel the need to discuss.

I only Tom people who ask me for my opinion. I usually say something along the lines of, "Naaah you don't want me to tell you what I think."

But it's like they beg me. I finally get to the point where I tell them the things they don't want to hear. I tell them the real truth behind their problems. Then....they get screaming mad at me and tell my wife I'm a total a-hole and I end up in deep steaming water. Being honest is my deepest fault. It's also what gets me in the most trouble.

My wife continues to ask me, "Why?" I have no answer. I just don't know.

People want you to tell them the truth, but it can hurt them so bad that telling them may hurt you. I'll never not tell a person the truth or at least what I feel is the truth in spite of their feelings. If you ask me, I'm telling you.

I hate it that people call it being Tom'd. But I get that everyone who knows the term knows the honesty behind it. I don't try to hurt people but sometimes you have to hurt them to get through to them.

Why do I write this blog every nite....or almost every nite?

I'm here to tell you, I just don't have any idea! And truth be told neither do you!

But I do know that writing my thoughts out helps me personally because I don't hold everything inside. This blog is a great way for me as a person to expel the anxiety I have within me on this website and it relieves me from expelling it on my family and friends! This is bigger than you can imagine.

I can tell you I love my wife and my children and they are the people that drive me the most crazy in my life. But there is no way I could possibly be a better man without them in my life. The same goes for my sisters and their families.

I don't get the why. But I do get this. I love my wife and my kids and my family and without them I'm not sure why I'd do anything.

I Love My Dog...Don't You?

2009-05-25T23:18:00.003-05:00

I spent 15 years in the sports media. It's kind of a difficult circle. You have to realize, you're working in an environment that takes sports waaaaayyyy too seriously. Sports is meaningless. I know. I covered it for years. It's just fun. It's a past time. It's what we hang out with when life starts to become a little too intense. I mean, c'mon who's life doesn't need an outlet? Men like me have our sports. My wife and women like her have their soap operas.

The point is, we know it's just bullshit. Sports and soap operas have virtually the same amount of meaning in everyone's day to day lives. But it's nice to get away. Life can have that manipulating force upon us all and without our silly outlets we'd all just freak out and kill our wives like Drew Peterson(talk about a guy who could've used fantasy baseball in his life).

But I gotta tell you, this jerk-off Michael Vick should just go away. I am sickened by the coverage of ESPN who has a reporter on his front lawn telling us that this douche bag, criminal has come home from jail.

My question is this. Who the hell gives ESPN the godlike right to decide what I want to be covered by my sport's station? Someone needs to monitor these dopes. Michael Vick is a hideous criminal. He's been in jail for two years because he is a horrible member of society. Now all of a sudden he is news because he is coming home from the penitentiary to be on house arrest for the next few months?

Has sports dived so low in the gutter that a guy who is as horrible as this guy has become news? This is a bad person. He is less worthy than the dump I took this morning. This man allowed the death of dogs for his financial advancement. Mind you he was making a small fortune playing in the NFL but still felt that the enjoyment of watching dogs fight to the death was worth even more. This is not a decent human being.

Still ESPN has reporters camped outside this guy's house to tell us when he arrives home from jail! They show over and over his car arriving at his house. Who the frick cares? No one should care about this piece of garbage human being. It is nausiating.

This is a bad guy. He wants to come back and play in the NFL If this happens people and fans across America should boycott the games he plays.

Sports leagues across the country need to learn two simple words....Lifetime ban. Pieces of garbage like Michael Vick have no place in our sport past times. We don't need the likes of this guy in our sports. He needs us. "You lose, Buddy. I don't care that you run fast. I don't care that you can throw the ball a long ways. You disrespected the league, you're gone."

How in God's name am I supposed to explain to my five year old son who wants to know everything, and I mean everything, about every sports game that is on TV about how this horrible human being who literally sanctioned dog fighting and the inevitable death of hundreds of dogs at his hands is playing football in the NFL? Do I have to tell my son it's because he can run fast? Do I tell him it's because the owners and the people who run the NFL can't resist the fact this horrible human being is a good player?

What a joke. There is no place in sports for this criminal. Bottom line...he's a criminal. If the NFL allows this horrible human being to play again because "he's fast" or whatever, they are admitting that the sport has nothing to do with sportsmanship but everything to do with dollarship. As a fan of football for almost my whole life, this would be irreconcilable.

As someone who has a dog.....if Michael Vick ever looked at my dog, Townshend, I'd have to kick his ass and I'd be happy doing it. Because my dog is a member of my family and quite frankly, no one messes with my family.

The Worst of Getting Old

2009-05-23T21:44:00.004-05:00

You know what the worst part about getting older is? No, it's not my aching bones and joints. It's not the gray hair that appears on my head, my beard and even in my privates. It's not the understanding of days gone by....like realizing I lived a life without a tv remote or a life without cd's or a life without ATM's that the people of today can't comprehend. The worst thing about growing older is that people who have touched your life and/or a part of the people you know who make up your life start to die.

When you're young the thought of people you love dying is so far from your thought process. Dying isn't something the young and carefree think about. But as you get older, it starts to happen. People you know or have known or people that your best friends care the most about start to go on.

I kinda like getting older. I think part of my problem is that I was the youngest in my family. It's fun for me to pontificate about the joys and sicknesses of my life to my older siblings. I love it that they have to deal with the fact that I am as old as them in so many ways.

But this isn't the worst part. I can deal with the hearing loss. I can deal with eyesight loss. Quite frankly, I can make fun of it comically even though it scares the hell outta me. But dealing with the loss of a family member is what crushes me the most about getting older.

Like it or not. When you get older, more people you have known die. It's a rotten fact of life. But it happens.

One of my best friend's mom had a stroke today. She's not doing well and I'm not sure what the final outcome will be. She is a great woman who made me laugh and made alot of us laugh and smile for a long time. She has always been a caring and giving woman to her children and grandchildren who have loved her and spent quality time with her for years(including yesterday).

If it is time for her to go to heaven I know there is a seat waiting for her. The fact that she raised three boys to be the quality men I know them to be is proof enough for me, let alone Saint Peter.

I hope you who read this blog, knowing the person I am, will join me in giving your thoughts and prayers to my good friend Butch and his two brothers in their tough time of need.

It sucks getting old. But this really sucks for my friends.

Musicals Make Us Lose the Blues!

2009-05-20T23:58:00.007-05:00

Okay...this one is on my mind tonite.

Let's rock '70's musical style!

Oh my God! Ha the pun. This is such a great musical. People don't realize, this is the saga of Jesus told by the eyes of Judas. It's amazing. Judas speaks of the idiocy of Jesus' actions. Why does he do the things he does? This is a brilliant musical written with beautiful 70's style music. The heart and soul of the music makes it amazing. I grew up with this playing on LP in my home and I play it today on cd in my car(oh well so goes the 21st century!).

Let me plug in some more tunes.....

Dig this....

For the sake of the nation....this Jesus must die....

I only wanna know....

What are you waiting for? Go rent it! Thank me later.

Gotta Feel Bad for the Blackhawk Fans

2009-05-19T22:50:00.003-05:00

Wins are wins. Especially when you are the reigning Stanley Cup Champions. The only win that really matters is the win in which each and every player on your team gets a chance to skate around the ice holding Lord Stanley's Cup high over his head.

That is why I didn't get over exuberant at my friend's house(because once again I don't have Versus and must pawn off my friends to see the hockey playoffs) when the Red Wings won in overtime tonite. It was a good, hard fought win.

It takes four games to win a series. The next two are in Chicago and believe me these freaking nuts in this town will be screaming until the rafters come down in support of their team.

This is a great series for the Blackhawks. Their young players can learn so much from the Red Wings' grit and fire to win.

Unfortunately for all my neighbors and local friends this series is all but over....oh yeah my loving wife too! "Sorry Honey, we got ya."

I am surrounded by Blackhawk fans. They are so fired up for their young upstart team. I have been as humble as possible.

Now, leading 2 games to none, if the Red Wings can steal a victory in Chicago this upcoming weekend, they will be able to seal the deal at home in game 5 at Joe Louis Arena(as I predicted before the series.....but my Blackhawk fan friends will never admit it).

I feel bad for my Blackhawk fan friends. Really. My favorite Chicago team is the Hawks. I'm a hockey fan. They're an original six team. How could I not be? But when they play the Wings, all bets are off. But this series looks to be over.

The only way the Hawks could get back in it would be if the Red Wings started taking them for granted......kinda like I am right now. But their coach will never let that happen. He's the only coach in the NHL that could follow Scottie Bowman as coach of the Red Wings. Mike Babcock is that good!

There are still two games left for the Wings to win before the series is concluded. But living in the Chicago area, I couldn't be more excited for the competitiveness of the rest of the games in this series and I am rooting for it.

After all, these are the games of our series and dammit we're gonna enjoy them!

The Media is Getting Dangerous

2009-05-18T23:17:00.003-05:00

In case you care, my daughter is fine. Fever broke early this morning and after a couple hours of milking it with her father all is good. She is virtually back to normal.

Her father on the other hand is less than that. I spent some hours watching our vaunted news stations today/evening and I am just sickened by what I see and hear. The time we spend as viewers and literal pawns to these news(I have a hard time calling them this) shows is appalling. Sometimes I wonder if the viewers in our country who watch these self proclaimed experts spew their falsely important excitement about sideshow bullshit in our faces don't realize it's all just showmanship.

I sat in my living room and watched story after story that focused on politicians who lie, former presidents who tried too hard and the dumbest of all dumbest time spent on news, what a beauty pageant wanna be made comments about.

I'm not a moron. I know politicians lie. They do all the time. Often times the best ones are the politicians who lie and know how not to get caught. Believe me if being a teenager and being a politician were compatible, I'd be governor of Illinois(but then again, you don't even have to get elected to that post these days).

I think water-boarding those assholes to find Bin Laden is the least of my worries. If I were Bush I would've shot them in the balls to find out where that piece of garbage is hiding. Mess with us, we mess with you. This is just a way for people against the policies of our former president to get back at him. I say you're wasting your time on something that didn't even work. Bin Laden would be dead if the torture techniques had worked. And by the way, if Dick Cheney basically informed the president of his procedures what's the big deal. We as a people elected George Bush to 2, count 'em, 2 terms in office. Please, if we didn't think Cheney was making some major decisions I don't think Bush would've beat Gore. Gore's VP candidate was Lieberman. "Maybe we should torture them....oh maybe we shouldn't....crap I don't know." Yeah, that's what we all wanted. Look if Cheney was Gore's running mate it's a landslide. People in this country knew Cheney was a badass and would do what it took no matter what the cost.

By the way, he shot his friend in the face! The only question there was how dumb was his friend? You wouldn't catch me dead hunting with Dick Cheney....talk about your basic no-brainers.

Pelosi's a liar. She's busted. Let's move on. Make some other liar the speaker what's the difference. We've spent too much time already on this. She lied. Bush lied. Cheney lied. Clinton lied. Bush's dad lied. Kennedy lied. Truman lied. Good Lord they all freaking lie. I don't give a rat's ass. They are all a bunch of liars. I'd run for office but I'm not a good liar! I have some great ideas but the people want someone who lies to them. Let's stop crucifying these idiots when they get busted for lying. We are spending too much energy on it.

Crap, we vote for who can lie the best. Obama lied. McCain lied. They all lie!

The country is in turmoil. The news tonite spent more time on a beauty pageant contestant who made a comment that people responded to negatively. I can't believe I'm giving this space on my blog but I'll make it quick. WHO THE HELL CARES WHAT A BEAUTY PAGEANT CONTESTANT SPEAKS ABOUT? I SAY AGAIN. THIS IS A BEAUTY PAGEANT CONTESTANT. Is this what it has come to?

If my 5 year old daughter says she likes dogs better than gays, is she going to appear on Keith Olberman's show tonite?

Let me make this simple.

This country needs jobs.

We need to find a way to get the money out of the greedy corporate leaders who won't share and into the economy. There is no trickle down anymore.

If you want to know a little insight to the news stations you are watching, take notice of the commercials they run. GE/NBC runs spots for insurance companies. FOX runs commercials for GE. They are all in this together. They are playing us like pawns on a chess board.....useless but serving a purpose.

These news stations have taken over our coverage of what is important in this country. So much so, that the Republican party is scrambling to stay afloat(if you won't admit it, you're not paying attention). We as a country need the GOP. We need both parties to keep us going. What we don't need is a smokescreen of nonsense getting us fired up over issues that are smaller than the overall scope of destruction.

Not one station tonite(I watch them all....I am not partisan....basically because I don't trust any of them) discussed the country's need for work and how any actions were helping it happen quicker.

I can't help but think one of the reasons this is not being discussed by these pompous, arrogant windbags is that they have jobs. They're getting paychecks.

Unfortunately, the poor saps watching this unimpressive dribble of news aren't!

Janie's Got a 101

2009-05-18T00:05:00.003-05:00

Man it sucks when your daughter has a fever. Her cheeks get red and she's so lethargic. She just wants to lay her head on my lap. My poor girl.

When my boy gets sick, he just plays as if nothing's different but then he just falls down and sleeps where he is because his body can't take anymore. He doesn't realize he's sick, he just can't keep up his usual pace without actually realizing it.

My daughter is a girl. She doesn't roll that way. She knows she's feeling shitty and milks it for all the snuggly, lovey'ness she can get out of it(5 year old version of her mother in every way!).

It is pretty cute though. I put her to bed tonite and I thought she was sleeping. I whispered to her after laying her in her bed, "If you feel bad in the nite, just come to Daddy's bed and I'll hold you until you feel better."

She whispered back to me, "Okay Daddy. I love you."

It was pretty cool.

It sucks when she doesn't feel good. But selfishly, it's kinda nice because all she wants is for her Daddy to hold her. I don't get that very often. Of course she wants me to hold her all friggin day long and that gets a little nutty. But still. What human being wouldn't want their offspring to want to have them hold them all day long? Even is she has a 102 fever. And you know I'm gonna have the same cold next week!

But still. I get to hold my daughter all day long. This is better than a Red Wing victory! Really it is.

Don't misunderstand. My son and I were the only ones in a house full of hockey fans today rooting for the Red Wings. And when the Wings scored Michael screamed and screamed. Then he high fived me 10 times in a row. Then he danced around the room. He was so great that a few Blackhawk fans in the room said, "We're not coming back here next week."

But tomorrow my daughter will be not feeling well all day. I'll have to hold her all day long.

I feel bad for her....but truthfully, not for me.

P.S. She'll be fine. It's just a fever.

Why Are We Competing?

2009-05-17T23:06:00.007-05:00

President Obama presented the commencement speech to the 2009 graduating class at Notre Dame today. Pro or Con you owe it to yourself to read his speech...don't just listen...that's B.S. read it....http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/05/17/obama-notre-dame-speech-f_n_204387.html

I'm not a fool. I realize he has some of the best scholars in the world writing his speeches, but damn they're good. Reading it is so much better than listening. You can skim over the pomp and circumstance but read and re-read the important verbiage.

This was a tricky speech. With all the hatred toward our President from the Catholic hypocrites who think the sanctity of the church is still what it once was, Obama was in a no-win situation. But this speech was brilliant.

Do I really need to discuss the hypocrisy of the Catholic faith? How many young boys have been molested by priests over the last few decades? How much money is being spent from parishioner donations toward legal fees? How many decent men who practiced proper ethics were made to be scapegoats for the better of the Catholic church? Shall I go on?

If I know anything about being a true Catholic it has little to do with the church and their political hypocrisy and more to do with being a good man who is honest to himself, his family and his friends.

But Obama handled this speech with grace. Read....

We must decide how to save God's creation from a changing climate that threatens to destroy it. We must seek peace at a time when there are those who will stop at nothing to do us harm, and when weapons in the hands of a few can destroy the many. And we must find a way to reconcile our ever-shrinking world with its ever-growing diversity - diversity of thought, of culture, and of belief.

In short, we must find a way to live together as one human family.

C'mon, this guy has some awesome speech writers! Am I right?

Okay, you're not convinced. Not a problem. I got more.
Check this segment of his speech out....it's beautiful....

recognizing that our fates are tied up, as Dr. King said, in a "single garment of destiny" - is not easy. Part of the problem, of course, lies in the imperfections of man - our selfishness, our pride, our stubbornness, our acquisitiveness, our insecurities, our egos; all the cruelties large and small that those of us in the Christian tradition understand to be rooted in original sin. We too often seek advantage over others. We cling to outworn prejudice and fear those who are unfamiliar. Too many of us view life only through the lens of immediate self-interest and crass materialism; in which the world is necessarily a zero-sum game.

The imperfections of man...selfishness, pride, stubbornness....i love the use of "acquisitiveness"....what an eloquent word....I'm not embarrassed to mention I looked it up...it means....tending or seeking to acquire and own, often greedily; eager to get wealth, possessions, etc.: our acquisitive impulses; acquisitive societies....so there I got a little dictionarial on everyone, so be it! Basically he's talking about be a competitive society. I am so sick and tired of everyone being so freaking competitive. If you haven't figured out by now it doesn't matter who wins or loses, it's what makes us all happier, than you're just being an idiot!

Our world need leaders, not competitors! This is just ridiculous. Why is it the smartest people in the world feel they must compete against each other? Why not work together?

I swear to God(whoever he may be) competition is what is ruining our world. Not even our country....we already know this, but our world.

Stubbornness and competitiveness are the the most ignorant emotions intelligent people can display. The sooner smart people figure this out, the better off our entire planet will be.

In the meantime, I'll just sit back and read a speech from the President of United States to the graduating class at Notre Dame and realize this man gives a shit. Unlike the morons who screamed in protest at him while he delivered it.

At least no one threw a shoe at him!

I Hate Game Seven

2009-05-13T21:52:00.004-05:00

I'm so freaking pissed off right now there is steam coming from my ears. My hate-filled wife hung a Blackhawks jersey in our front window tonite. Normally this wouldn't bother me. But the fact that the Red Wings lost last nite to the Ducks in Anaheim forcing a game seven tomorrow nite and the Blackhawks have already clinched their spot in the Conference Finals is just not sitting right with me.

I don't care if she's got the right. I don't care that she can sail the jersey in her pride of the nice run the Hawks have had to this point in the playoffs. I don't care. Do you hear me I don't care.

So now that it's clear. The fact that I won't be speaking to her for the next few weeks is out in the open, I can get on with it.

If the Wings don't win tomorrow I'm gonna puke. I hate game sevens. I've seen too many bad bounces and funny ricochets to know better. I cannot live in this town without the Wings winning and facing the Blackhawks.

I have been through many Blackhawk/Red Wings playoff series. It's ugly for me. I'm the only one rooting for the Winged Wheel. But I don't care. I've been rooting for this team since I was five. There is nothing I want more than a Blackhawk/Red Wing series. I will be with fans of hockey for every game of the series. Win or lose we will all shake hands like the players do at the end of each playoff series.

You see the Blackhawks and the Red Wings are two of the original six teams in hockey. The fans of these two teams are woven from the same string. We bleed the colors of our teams. It is one of the reasons I am a silent Blackhawk fan. But not when they play the Red Wings. That is a horse of a different color.

We need this. We need a Blackhawk/Red Wing series. A series that decides which team is worthy to represent in the Stanley Cup Finals.

I like to call it natural selection. I am a friendly person. I like most people. But for some reason the best friends I have made since moving to this area are hockey fans. My best friends all love the game played on ice. It's a little freaky. My best friends and I have always had hockey in common. We have gone to games together. We have watched games together and enjoyed the sweet science that is the game of hockey for over 20 years.

The Wings face a game seven tomorrow nite and if anyone who knows about hockey, I'll say it again, anything can happen in game seven. They just gotta win. All I care about is the puck drop at 6pm my time tomorrow. We gotta win.

My son told me today...."Daddy, I'm not from Detroit but my favorite teams are!" What a kickass kid!

I'll suck it up tonite and tomorrow with the jersey in my window but if the Wings can win tomorrow I'll hang my Red Wings jersey up next to the one in my window. We'll see who's jersey will hang there during the Finals.

Otherwise, it'll be real quiet in my house for the next couple weeks.

Yul Brynner's Got Nothing on Me

2009-05-11T00:00:00.005-05:00

I shaved my head last nite. Yep, swear to God. I shaved it down to a mere stubble. For all intense and purposes I'm bald. Not really, I do have some hair on my head but not much. The funny thing is I'm not sure why I did it.

I know I was extremely sick and tired of the length of my hair. It was unruly and was forcing me to take way too much time in the shower. You see time in the shower as a stay at home dad is critical. If a dad spends too much time in the shower the climbing monkeys known as my children will find their way into cabinets and what not and by the time the shower is over my children are knee deep in candy, cookies, bug spray you name it. The shower for a stay at home dad can only last three minutes....tops. I don't even take the time to put a robe on. Get out of the shower, brush the hair, rub on some deodorant and race naked into the kitchen to see how far they have gotten. If I can exclude the brushing the hair part it makes it that much shorter. You may think this little amount of time is minuscule and therefore meaningless. But in reality(and believe me this is my reality), it can be the difference between a mere effort to reach the box of cereal on top of the refrigerator to actually retrieving it and spewing it all over the living room floor sharing mouthfuls with your sibling and the friggin dog! Nothing ruins a shower more than exiting the bathroom to a living room full of messy, mess, mess, messy mess!

Sometimes I can't even believe the things I write. All the trials and tribulations I have been through in my life have brought me to this....I actually care about the house getting trashed. I've said it before and I'll say it again. Life is a bitch. Sometimes she's a nasty one too.

Back to my head.

I think I just needed a change. If you think about the generations and eras that have come and gone. Hair is a really weird gauge for it all. It says something about time.

The fifty's had the duck-tail and the greased down look. The sixty's started the grow it long stage. The seventies had the side burns from hell. The eighty's was the big hair era for the woman. The ninety's was the era of the mullet. Man, I had a sweet one! But the 2000's or whatever we're calling it doesn't seem to show anything significant when it comes to hair. If anything it has fallen back to retro styles.

I have always been one who rolls the way I roll. I have never truly had the in-style hair for the era I was living. I have always been either behind the times or ahead of the times. But it was always what I wanted to have my hair to look like not what everyone else looked like.

Today I am bald.

Maybe I am making a statement. Maybe I'm just looking for attention(there's a stretch). Or maybe I need a quicker shower. I really don't know. I do know that being a stay at home dad can sink you into a rut so bad you search exhaustingly to find a way out of it. Sometimes it's the little things that bring you back up.

Hey, it's just hair.

For now and the next few weeks my head will look like my friend Rick's head. The only difference is that mine will grow back!

2009-05-10T23:43:00.002-05:00

I could talk about the death of ELO's bass player in February of this year, but really I just want to post this great video/song...I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

My Mothers Three

2009-05-10T00:37:00.004-05:00

So it's Mother's Day. What a great day. My wife likes to have Mother's Day Weekend. This pretty much means I spend the entire weekend taking care of the children, cooking food for her and tending to her every whim(did I miss it somewhere that she's not my wife but my Mom?). But I take care of her this weekend because she is a great Mom to my children and that fact alone makes me love her all the more! Besides it's alot easier these days than when the children were babies and I had to change every diaper and take care of every feeding for an entire weekend. Now that was over and above the call of husbandry duty, but I still performed to my best because respecting the Mother isn't hard to accomplish.

On Mother's Day every year I think of 3 very influential women in my life who have helped me be the man I am today. Making the statement, the man I am today is so very important to me because I feel I am ever formulating it. Even at 44 I don't feel I have learned all the key factors that define the man I am today yet. But I'm working on it!

Obviously, my Mom is the first. She is a saint and as I have said often her seat in heaven is reserved for her for the shit I put her through in raising me. There aren't words enough to describe her, let alone her love and caring for me. She has always been there for me. She always knows when I need a hug, when I need a slap in the face or when I just need a shoulder to lean on. She's an amazing woman and I wish people I know could have a Mom as great as mine. There is literally not a soul on this earth I love more than her and she's knows it. That's why we can talk about anything. I never keep thoughts from her. I tell her exactly how I feel and she does the same to me. Her love and caring has made me the man I am today and for that I am forever indebted to her.....Thanks Mom, you rule!

Next is my wife. For 10 years we tried to have a baby. With the help of technology and luck we have two beautiful children. When I see this woman with my children sometimes I just want to weep. I don't think I could find a better person to not only be the mother of my children but also be a terrific wife to a guy like me. She is remarkable. By the way, my own mother tells me often how lucky I am to have found a woman like my wife.....this works for me(personally I think my wife is the first woman I have ever been with that my Mom has liked. But give it some thought, who wouldn't be picky when your youngest brings someone home).

The third woman in my life that I always think about on Mother's Day is my oldest sister, Judy. She's a great person. I love her to death. We all have family nuances. Ours was no different. I was the youngest of 4. Judy was the oldest. This was no easy task. She broke my parents in...if you will. By the time life got around to me, my folks had been through so much, raising me was all a matter of experience(thanks in large part to Judy).

You see, being the youngest I had to be watched often. This job fell to Judy. She watched over me like no one else in my life. She literally protected me. I can't speak for my other siblings but as far as I'm concerned she watched over all of us. I can say right now I am a better person today because my sister Judy wasn't afraid to kick my ass when I was being an ass! And she did. She still does.

When I got older, Judy was my best friend. I told her everything. She told me everything. We never had inhibitions or worries what the other thought, we always just knew we were a team. She has always been the one person I can agree or disagree with and not have to worry about the consequences.

I can remember one time talking with her on her porch when I had learned she was moving to Texas to marry the man she was living with because he got a job there. My whole family was upset she was going to leave the state and be so far away. I asked her, "Is this what you really want? Is this the man you want to marry?"

She said to me, "I know he is because he reminds me of you so much!"

Are you kidding? This woman who I look up to so much told me this. I was in awe.

My big sister doesn't have any children. She's been married to the same man for 20 something years and they are happy. I know what it's like to try for years and get lucky but I don't know what it's like to try for years and not get lucky.

Life is unfair in so many ways. My big sister is the best nurturing human I know. She would be the greatest Mom. I know because of how she had a hand in raising me. In the meantime she spoils the crap out of my children and my other sister's children and I can tell you my kids love her as much as I do and I know that makes her feel good inside.

I hope Judy looks at me the same way I look at my children, with pride because she has every right to. She's one of my best friends but she also helped raise me to be the man I am today.

The Wings and I Were on the Road Tonite

2009-05-08T00:48:00.004-05:00

I love sports. I don't even know why. I'm not sure if it's the escape I need from everyday life or maybe it's because when I played sports as a child I always played as if I would someday make it to the big leagues. Or maybe it's genetic and it just seeped into me through my father who listened or watched every possible game that was being broadcast. Whatever the reason, it's in me.

Being from the Detroit area my allegiance to the Tigers and the Lions will always be within my heart. But....bottom line?....when it comes right down to it, my favorite team is and always will be the Detroit Red Wings! I bleed red(I know we all do but that's the pun)!

The NHL is in disarray and as you may find it hard to believe the fault lies almost solely on the ridiculous commissioner, Gary Bettman. What an idiot. I am so sick and tired of these fools running our sports into the ground when all we as fans want is something to cheer about. Think about it, there is alot we can be stressing about in today's world, but sports gives us this stupid outlet that we get to care about even if it's not really worthy of caring about. Am I making any sense? I just read this paragraph again and I'm not even sure what the hell I'm talking about. Rest assured, I will plod on.

The TV rights to NHL games have been bought by a channel called Versus. It used to be called the Outdoor Network but some genius thought calling it Versus would be so catchy! Whatever. The fact is, I don't get this freaking network. I don't get to watch hockey games because the games are on some obscure cable TV network. Apparently my carrier is a competitor of the carrier that owns the Versus channel and they won't let us have it. Well ain't that a kick in the shins!

This leads me to my point(I know it's about time but really I've been watching hockey all nite long and drinking beers so forgive me if I ramble slightly). Thank God for good friends! Yep, I said it. Rock on my good friends. My friend Amy had me, my wife and my children over to her house to watch the Blackhawks playoff game that started at 7pm. Then she allowed me to watch the Red Wings game that started at 9:30pm until it's joyous conclusion(a 6-3 Wings win). What a cool woman.

Here I was grinning from ear to ear as the Wings posted their potent victory over the demonous(I like this word....to my literary friends...I know the word doesn't exist but the hockey players from Anaheim are demonous....it fits and if I have to make up words to fit my blog than I will....so there!) Ducks from Anaheim in my friend's living room as she slept like a baby in her bedroom above(my wife had long since took the children home since she came up with the brilliant idea for me to ride my bike to Amy's house so she could take the kids home after the Hawk's game).

Side note...it seems I'm using alot of parenthesis in this blog tonite. I'm not sure why but it seems to fit(maybe it's because I'm so geeked about the Wings winning tonite).

I know I will do something special for her in the near future for letting me watch my team play tonite. I'll cook her and her kids a nice meal or......I'll cook a nice meal.....that's pretty much all I got at this point....but she doesn't want it. She knew how important it was to me to watch this hockey game tonite and she was proud to be the one who hooked me up.

You see, I'm so geeked the Red Wings won tonite. The series is tied 2-2 and we're headed back to the Joe for game 5 and it's gonna be a great playoff series to the end. But you don't care and really Amy doesn't either. But what she does care about is doing something for a friend that really makes him happy.

Sports is pretty meaningless. I get it. But there are times when sports can bring out the best in people and make our relationships just a little bit better.

I felt really good when I turned out all the lights in my friend's house tonite and locked the door behind me. Because I knew she trusted me to do that. It's a cool feeling to have friends who care.

One other thing. I did Amy's daughter's math homework and left it on the living room table!

I'm Getting Over Getting Old

2009-05-06T23:14:00.004-05:00

I'm 44 years old. It is amazing how each year you cross over teaches you different things. Mind you I was 39 when my children were born so the speed of my post-40 days have progressed at a rate that is basically unnatural. I'm am so freaking old today! At times I just can't believe it.

I can't read a box score in the paper without my glasses. And by the way, my glasses are bi-focals today!!!

It's just getting scary/stupid. I say stupid because I have never lived my life thinking of the consequences of the future....I never will. I am a huge believer in live for today.

I did two things this week that I have been doing for the last, well almost 20 years. I went to the New Orleans Jazz Festival and I went to a Grateful Dead concert. Let me tell you the truth today....I am dust!

There was a time in my life I could do these things on top of each other like this week when it wouldn't effect me one iota. I'm not lying. I could burn that candle at both ends and when it was gone I could say, "Bring on the next one!"

Now it's like, "You've got to be kidding me? We're going to a Dead Show tonite?"

Not only am I tired as shit, but my body is screaming at me. There is so much walking we do in New Orleans.....for that matter there was so much walking we did last nite at the Dead Show in the parking lot/festival that is the Dead Show pre-show, there isn't enough Glycosimin in the world that could make my knees respond positively to this abuse. It's insane. I'm not good with getting old.

But I must say, in this day and age, it sure is nice to have a pair of glasses that I can wear that allows me to see....just see. I watched the Red Wings game the other day without my glasses for the first period and it was great. You know, it's the hockey playoffs and life is good watching my favorite team with my son wearing his #9 jersey that has "Michael" written on the back. But after the first, I put my glasses on and I was just in awe. I was like, "You must be freaking kidding me? I can see the puck! This is great!" And it was. I push against my glasses wearing because I have never really needed them unless I have been pushing my eyes too much.....i.e. a job that has me on the computer all day. But this was better than my veiness. This was beyond my ridiculous anti-glasses thing that probably came from high school. I was happy again! I could see the puck! It was like learning what offsides meant!

I guess my point is this. Life can be a blast no matter what age you are. It doesn't matter if you have to take Glycosimin for your joints(hey live 35 years at 6'3" and tell me your knees don't ache) or after turning 40 you need bifocals or even if you need that tremendous little blue pill to make your life better, the point is we are able to experience the events in our lives that make us the happiest. And in large part it's because we have the tools to help us through it all. We need not be afraid. This is what we do.

Whether it's a trip to one of the greatest cities in America for the wonderful cuisine and amazing musicians that you will experience or a chance to see one of you favorite bands play what most likely will be their last hurrah, you gotta suck it up. Life only happens once. Get after it.

I must tell you a funny story....of course it will be funnier to those who aren't as sore as me today but I'll tell it anyway. I made my way to the bathroom during the concert last nite. We were on the second floor and the bathrooms were on the first floor. As I made my way down the stairs I took the first step and noticed that they seemed a slight bit slippery.....at the same moment I went down...you see my shoes had some slime on the bottom and the combination of my slimy shoes and the slimy stairs said, "Dude, you're going down!" And down I went.

I slid down those stairs on my ass for a flight. The problem was I reached for the railing to save me but I was too far in the middle of the stairway.......As I flung my hand to grab the rail I caught nothing but air and my hand slammed against the stair that I happened to be sliding along. Needless to say, typing this blog tonite is as painful as any other blog I have written because my index finger must have ripped backward in a way I'm sure it doesn't like me to extend. It ripped backward so far double jointed people would've been shocked. Today it is a balloon-like digit on my right hand. The best thing was that there was virtually no one on the stairway at the time of my spill, so nobody laughed at my sliding down a flight of stairs on my ass!

I will never stop doing the things that make me happy. I will go through hell and high water to have a good time. This includes time with my family and friends. My family knows I will travel through some of the most difficult weather to be with them for Christmas, and I have. I will push myself through pain in my joints to see my favorite band. I will always go the extra mile for the things that make me happy no matter the consequences to my slowing recognizably ancient body.....screw it, if it makes you happy you gotta be happy.

I guess I look at it this way....the guys in the Grateful Dead last nite are all in their 60's(at least) and they're still giving people like me a night out with my friends that makes me a better man tomorrow. I sure can suck it up and deal with a little pain of being older to feel better about myself.

Because the bottom line is this....if you don't do the things that make you feel good because you're getting older than you've just given up.

The day I give up is the day they dig 6 feet down.

It's a Grateful Dead Night!

2009-05-05T17:04:00.002-05:00

Going to another Grateful Dead experience tonite. If you haven't been, you are missing something truly memorable....Here's a taste from 1977!

It's Good to Get Away

2009-05-04T22:23:00.002-05:00

I just got back from taking a trip out of town with my wife. We just got away! After being with her for a few hours I said to her, "I've had more fun and have laughed more with you in the last 6 hours than I have had in the last 6 months!" Mind you this was only during our flights(I say flights because we had a stopover and I don't need to tell you how bad that sucks)!

Life can be a bitch. I'm sorry but there really isn't any other way to put it. Marriage is a bitch in itself. Men and women are not even closely related. To be together for an extended period of years is monumental. People don't realize it. I am lucky enough to have been married to the same woman for 16 years. Whenever I think she's driving me crazy, I think about what my life would be without her. I can't go there. I'm lucky. She rocks! I'm one of the lucky ones, I have a woman who makes me a better man.

When she told me she wanted to take a short trip this week I said all the logical things....."we can't afford it"....."it doesn't make sense"......"let's get the garage door fixed"....blah, blah, blah.

She said, "We need this."

I didn't realize the emphasis was on we.

She was so right. We had so much fun together. At one point she said to me, "Stop talking to me you're making me laugh too much!"

I love making my wife laugh. It probably is the one thing in my life that makes feel the best. She has the best laugh.

Don't get me wrong. We missed our kids immensely. We called home every day, all day while we were gone(by the way it was only four days and three nights). But I can't tell you how important it is to be together as a couple and remember why it is this is happening.

Everything we do these days is about our family. We travel together. We camp together. We hang out with our friends and their kids together. We do everything together. Basically, we sacrifice our relationship together for our children. We do this open-hearted. We don't even think twice about it.

But being able to spend the last few days with my wife in a setting that was just about us(as selfish as it may seem), made everything better.

Think about it. If you have children, you know they react to the mother-father relationship in a huge way. We as parents need to make sure our relationship is strong and happy so our children will respond properly.

I know that loving my wife makes my children happier...and after this time away I spent with her they are really happy!

NASCAR Needs a Change

2009-05-04T21:44:00.004-05:00

I need to do some catching up. Let's see how well I can tackle this. If you watched the last video I posted, you saw a race car almost fly into the stands and harm people watching the race. There were people injured in the stands from this crash and thankfully after being air-lifted to the nearest hospital all were okay. This is a good thing obviously.

The dumb thing is that NASCAR believes that the way they have taken care of this scary situation is sound and the reality is that it is just a band-aid on a sliced artery.

There are different race tracks in racing. Let's put it this way, there are speedways, short tracks and super speedways. The problem is with the super speedways. There are two of these. The problem lies in the fact that the two super speedways are two of the most storied tracks on the circuit.....Daytona and Talledega. These two tracks are about 2.5 miles for every lap. They are banked at such a degree and so wide on the racetrack that cars can move at over 200mph during every lap.

The problem lies in that a few years back, a race car traveling at over 220mph lost control and flew into the stands killing several people who were just watching a NASCAR race. The powers that be decided the way to fix this problem was to attach a restrictor plate on every car's carburetor to not allow the speed of the car to exceed 210mph. The plate restricts the air flow into the carburetor and controls the top speed of the car.

What this does is make all the cars have a top speed that is the same. Now we see 43 cars all bunched up at 200+ mph and the danger is extreme. At every restrictor plate race we see at least one to three accidents that gobble up the entire field and endanger not only drivers but fans. It is ridiculous.

At the tracks that are short tracks or speedways, we see racing that is exciting and strategic. These restrictor plate races are just stupid.

NASCAR must do something. It's time to either get rid of these tracks or lower the banking so cars can't move so fast around the track. These two tracks are the only tracks that a driver puts his foot on the gas pedal and pushes it to the floor the entire way around the track.

For those of us who enjoy this sport, something must be done. We as fans can't be endangered and our favorite drivers can't be endangered by having to drive within these ridiculous rules!

2009-04-28T00:06:00.003-05:00

Check out this video and then we'll discuss....

Karaoke Life Is A Different World

2009-04-26T22:38:00.002-05:00

I feel I should follow up on my Girls Night Out post from the other nite. Yes, the women went out last nite and yes they had a great time. Also, they dressed to nines(which I really don't know what that means but it seems to fit here). There was a ton of make up and low cut tops and from all reports they had a great time.

I only get snippets of their evening and I really don't want much more but at one point I'm told they were laughing so hard at how one of the women trims her eyebrows. If you read my earlier post this would fall under the category of conversations I don't care to be a part of(but between just us, my sister is probably pissed because she wasn't a part of this conversation because I have never met another person in this universe who is so in tune to eye brow etiquette....that's an inside joke but my sisters will be laughing at this...ride with me here it'll get better)! I'm sure there was more intense conversation among these women but it's not my place to but-in and I chose not to. I understand the ritual.

The stupid part of the whole evening is that I felt compelled to go out as well. I was told, like I posted previously, not to go anywhere near where the women were to be this night.

My future brother-in-law, Shaun and I went out together since our women were doing whatever it was they were doing and we, quite frankly, had nothing better to do......because our women were out doing whatever it is they do during Girls Night Out.

My favorite bar was closed for a private party. I really don't have a second favorite bar. This became a dilemma. We decided to go to a local pub that some of our friends frequent. We had a couple drinks and then the dreaded karaoke began.

The first thing we said was, "Let's go somewhere else, this is gonna be bad." But I must tell you, karaoke is like a bad car accident, you just can't help yourself from looking.

Can someone tell me what motivates people who couldn't carry a tune if it had a shoulder strap to get up in front of an entire bar of people and sing as if they were Barbara Streisand?

15 minutes before the karaoke started a group of people entered the bar. Mind you, Shaun and I were there to basically watch the Blackhawks playoff hockey game. These people all crowded into the area in front of us and started perusing the booklet of songs that were available for them to sing.

I had a thought to myself that well at least they know what is going on here and they probably are looking for a place to showcase their talent. Oh, how wrong I was!

We're trying to watch the hockey game and these people just want to sing. That's all fine and good but could you please sit down and get out of the way.

I start getting the feeling this guy thinks I'm looking at him instead of the hockey game. I tell Shaun that I think this guy over there thinks I'm staring at him, you know, in that way, and Shaun's all caught up singing 99 Louf Balloons with the woman who's singing it karaoke style because he knows German!

I said, "Dude, are you singing 99 Balloons?"

He says, "Uh, yeah is that cool?"

I said, "NO!"....."What in the hell?"

I'm telling you it's like a traffic accident. You can't pull yourself away.

I have to confess. Shaun left to call his fiance' outside and I sat there by myself. The next karaoke singer started singing "Country Road" by John Denver. I know how ridiculous this song is but my sisters had all the John Denver albums when I was growing up and I found myself singing all the words to the song. Car accident.

This guy who was making eyes at me all night long started getting me thinking. He sang Piano Man by Billy Joel and a song called Picture by Cheryl Crowe he did with a woman as a duet and I'm here to tell you he was hoooorrrrrriiiibllllle.

I'm only going to make fun of this guy because he was making eyes at me all night long and I felt we had a connection. By the way, my beautiful wife was at a bar all night with young guys looking at her longingly with her caked on makeup and low cut, cleavage revealing top and I was being solicited by a gay guy who was wearing a sport jacket over a t-shirt!....... I'm not kidding.

I kept telling Shaun that he had to go talk to the guy and ask him about his t-shirt under the sport jacket. Shaun bailed on me. No balls.

After a few shots I approached this guy and asked him about the t-shirt he was wearing. I said, "Dude, that's a great shirt what does it say?"

He said, "I don't know I got it at Marshall's."

I had no idea what he meant. Apparently Marshall's is a place for t-shirts. Is this something I should know? I don't. He showed me the print on it and it had a DKNY insignia on it. I just said, "Cool." And I walked away.

I was trying to get a feel for the mentality of the karaoke crowd.

It wasn't just a sport jacket, it was actually a suit coat with pin stripes. I'm not getting this. Someone needs to help me understand this mentality.

The whole karaoke experience at this bar was eye opening. I don't want to be judgemental but these people were crazed. It was like entering into an alternate universe where nothing was what it seemed.

I'm not sure if I'll ever get the karaoke scene but if they sing John Denver, I'll probably know all the words.

2009-04-25T02:49:00.001-05:00

Check this one out as well as the one before. This one is sung by craps players! So it's cool.

2009-04-25T01:47:00.002-05:00

Check out this clip from Singing in the Rain...no one falls in love like Gene Kelly!

Girls Night Out

2009-04-23T21:25:00.004-05:00

Let me spend a few moments on the recent phenomenon of Girls Night Out. Let me first say that I just don't get it. Why do woman have to have a Girls Night Out? It's odd. Usually when the women in my life want to go out together all their men call me and all of sudden want to do the same thing but with us men!

This is where it gets me thinking it's weird. The women get all dressed up. They cake on the make-up and show off more cleavage than I get to see in a month. I never see these women get made up when we all go out as couples! I'm told that it's because there is a friendly competition between the women to see who can look the hottest.....but wait a minute....doesn't that sound like if I believe this statement I'm being the most naive loser on the planet?

"Oh honey, I'm just getting dressed up because I want to look good for my girlfriends."

Even when I write it, I'm not buying it.

Let me put it to you this way. When their men and I get together for our complement to Girls Night Out, we generally have jeans, flannel shirts and ball caps on our heads. We'd have to be in an alley to be competing for who looks better on this nite!

Don't get me wrong. I guess I realize the reasoning behind women wanting to get together without their men. They can talk about their men or for that matter, talk about things their men just don't want to hear them talk about. I'm okay with it. I just wish deep down inside me that they didn't have to look so good when they did it.
I'd be perfectly fine if they all wore jeans, flannel shirts and baseball caps.

After much deliberation about this....I know you're amazed that I could spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about a topic such as this and analyzing the life out of it until I have come up with some sort of rationalization or realization that suffices my ego or just my well being but such is me.....I have come to the conclusion..........I just don't like that it has a name!

I can't stand that it's called Girls Night Out. I don't really care what goes on during this evening. Quite frankly I don't think I want to know. Usually no one tells me what happens on these nites because they don't want me to know anyway. I get it. But the fact it gets a label really bugs me. It's almost a slam against me and all that is manly. When I go out with my friends we don't label it. We didn't call it, Opening Day of Baseball Out With The Guys Day Out! But when the women get together they verbally slap us men in the face by calling it, Girls Night Out.

It's almost like this....if they happened to walk in a bar that we were patronizing, they wouldn't allow themselves to talk to us! I can hear it now, "Remember ladies, this is Girls Night Out."

After all the years I've been married I understand the importance of getting out without each other. I realize the benefits it has in the long run of a relationship. No two people can spend all their time together....that would just be nuts and I don't think it would work. I know my relationship is better when we have time to ourselves and our friends without our children let alone each other!

I'll just chalk it up to another of the many things I just don't get about women. Lord knows, growing up with three older sisters and being married this long(yes there may be a correlation there but that is for another blog) my list is getting as long as Santa Claus'!

I hope all my female friends have a safe and happy Girls Night Out this Saturday.

One more thing...."Honey, if you're reading this could you line up a sitter for Saturday nite?"

Welcome to Turmoil My Gay Friends!

2009-04-20T23:00:00.003-05:00

I'm so confused about homosexuality right now. Why in the hell would I be against people who love each other from getting married? How is my two gay friends getting married any different than my best friend marrying a stupid young bitch that isn't right for him but he keeps telling me he's in love! It's the same thing.

People are people. We are attracted to who we are attracted to. If it's a member of the same sex, so be it. I just want my friends to be happy. What I don't get is why we as heterosexual beings want to push our beliefs onto others. What in the world gives us this right? Have we not learned from the past sexist and racist actions of our ancestors to realize we are not more open-minded and intelligent? Do we not realize that imposing our ancient beliefs upon a sector of people is rude and unfeeling?

If the answer to this is religion I'm going to bust. I'm done with following the ways of religion. If I were to follow the ways of religion I would play footsie with men in the bathroom at airports or send text messages to boy-toys. It really is time for us all to stand up to the facts.

We all have friends who are homosexual(if you don't you're missing an extremely fun group of people). They are a part of our everyday life. Most are terrific people who we love. How is it that we don't want to allow them the gift of marriage(truthfully, they are probably better off without it....careful what you wish for, you just might get it)?

The one thing that my gay friends have against me is that I'm married. I say let's screw it to them. Let's even the playing field. If what they want is to be monogamous and exclusive to the one they love, I say marry it up!

I have spoken with iron workers and electricians and they all say the same thing, "I'd rather be working with a gay man as my partner than an illegal alien."

Right now, illegal aliens have it easier to get married than a homosexual.

I have had the privilege to have friends who are homosexual and I must tell you, it's wrong what we are doing to these people. They have fought through some extreme racism to get to where they are today. Frankly, we have nothing to be afraid of. It seems we are.

I think that the reason we seem to not want them to have the right to be miserable(or married) is being voted on by people who haven't met or had the opportunity to get to know a gay person.

I truly believe if the people who continue to vote against homosexual marriage had friends who were gay or knew a gay couple, like I do, they would think differently. These are the people who should be the least of our worries. Gay couples are so much like my marriage. I have had conversations about relationships with gay couples that mirror my married life so much that it is just silly. It is amazing how relationships are relationships whether heterosexual or homosexual. People who don't know this are just uninformed. The fact is, you are stupid. You are effecting good people's lives without knowledge. It hurts me. These are people I care about. Why can't you? Why can't you trust me? I don't lie. I wouldn't lie to you about something so important.

I'm trying to tell you to stop being so scared. Trust me. I'm heterosexual. I know this is okay. Stop hurting people I care about. Your attitude is ancient and ignorant. Get over yourself. My friends and I are begging you.

Marry up my gay friends. Come to my house. I'll throw a party for you!

I can't wait to hear about the turmoil of marriage!

Here's to Jackie

2009-04-17T23:44:00.002-05:00

I went to the Cubs game the other day. It was amazing. When you enter Wrigley Field, the home of the Chicago Cubs it takes your breath away. The smell of the ballpark, the sight of the green field and the sound of the mingling fans takes you to a place in your heart that only baseball and it's ultimate glory can fulfill.

I know, that's a little overboard but I love baseball and Wrigley Field is sick with nostalgia. It's the second oldest baseball park in the game behind Fenway Park in Boston. When men pee in the bathroom, we pee in a trough! I'm not lying.

Wednesday was a special day in the baseball community. It was the anniversary of Jackie Robinson breaking the color barrier in this game we all love(or at least you should).

I think we all know the story. If you don't, look it up it's a good one.

Robinson went through some great pains to fulfill his dream. I can't imagine what it was like for a black man to play on an all white team against all white opponents and in front of all white fans but I do know that his perseverance made our country a better one. I may go as far to say, that what Jackie Robinson did for the game of baseball helped our country elect our current president.

Once again I may be going a little far with my love of baseball but talk to anyone from the Detroit area, let alone from Michigan who didn't feel some pain this week from the passing of Mark Fidrych and you will know what I mean.

I can only imagine what motivated Robinson to do what he did. What I believe is that the beauty of the game itself and the passion that he carried for the game was greater than the hardships he knew would follow him in his playing days.

This brings me back to Wednesday at the ballpark. Baseball's ridiculous commissioner, Bud Selig decided(as an obvious publicity stunt) to have every major league ballplayer wear the number 42(Robinson's number) on his jersey this day.

It must be said that jersey numbers are synonomous to every player, good or bad. On this day we in the stands had vaguely an idea who was who on the field. It was almost comical. When I watched my highlite show that nite I had no idea who did what.

I truly don't think this was an appropriate tribute to a great man. I think Robinson did the things he did because of his love for the integrity of the game of baseball. I think he was rolling over in his grave because this idiot of a commssioner just doesn't get it!

It wasn't about publicity. It was about the game itself. This game of baseball is bigger than racism. It's a part of America. It's a part of our childhood. It's something we feel inside when we turn a game on TV or step into a ballpark. It's the feeling we get from cheering on our favorite team or when my nephew strikes someone out. It's a part of us all.

I love this game and herein lies the truth....when my nephew came over to my house the other day I said, "Did you bring your glove?"

He replied, "Of course I did. I know better than that!"

Jake and I played catch for a long time. It was great!

Happy Birthday Michael and Janie

2009-04-13T00:05:00.002-05:00

What an amazing day! Not only did my children get up this morning to Easter baskets and go searching for eggs around our house, but it was also their 5th birthday. I must tell you I kept looking at them all day long in awe.

It's just crazy that these two beautiful human beings are my offspring. I revel in the fact they smile all the time. Their smiles are the best part of my day....every day. Today they had Easter and their birthday....are you kidding me?....they were all smiles all day. It was awesome.

They fell asleep in the living room tonite. As I took each one of them to their beds I couldn't help but think how not that long ago they were babies. These 5 year olds were my babies such a short time ago. I can't believe how being a parent makes time move so fast. It's so true.

When my children were first born a friend of mine said, "The only advice I can give you is to smell the roses." I wasn't sure what he meant. He told me, "Time goes so fast with your children, try to enjoy every moment." Brilliant! People give you advice when you have children all the time but I will never forget this piece of advice because after 5 years I know it's so true!

I can't believe they are 5. My son and I play catch every day. My daughter makes crafts that I could never create. It seems like just yesterday they were helpless baby-beings who I needed to help feed and change their diapers.

Now I'm amazed at the people they have become.

There is a part of me that is sad that they have left their baby-ness behind them. But I am so excited at the prospect of future times to come. I can't wait to watch them grow. Secretly, I can't wait for the difficulties of high school and relationships that they will experience. I have been enjoying the ups and downs of this with my nephew for the past few years and we seem to be handling it well together(kudos Tim).

Let me take a moment to mention my nephew. I have such a great relationship with this young man. He makes me so proud to be his uncle. We have discussed relationships and women and such....I never have to say much to him. I say my peace and I move on. I don't harp.....gosh knows I like to harp......but when it comes to my nephew I just give him my word and I move on. It works for us. I love our relationship and I think he does too. I know that this relationship will help me be a better father when my children get to be his age.

I know it's sappy but I must say, these children of mine are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I know now what my purpose is on this earth. All the careers, college courses and relationships in the past are just a path to this spoken ground.

These two beautiful children who were born on this day are the very reason I was put on this earth.

Happy Birthday Michael and Janie!

2009-04-12T01:32:00.007-05:00

If you enjoy old movies...this one is a hidden gem. Take it from me and my Mum. Here's a clip from Brigadoon.

Don't Touch My Burner

2009-04-09T22:41:00.003-05:00

I must take a moment to mention how difficult writing a blog can be. Generally I write about something that has given me purpose to think in the approximately 24 hours since my last writing. You would be amazed at how you can go through life every day and not have a moment that affects you enough to write.

It was a beautiful in Chicagoland today. We were in the mid 50's and my beautiful children were outside with me all day. It was pretty cool for me. I love being outside with them. But it's not that poignant to warrant a decent blog. Chasing after a baseball is only so interesting.

I have some close friends going through an extremely difficult time right now, but writing about it(which I want to so bad I couldn't sleep last nite and I will soon) just doesn't seem like the friend thing to do. So I am going to pull from the depths of my mental archives.

You see, there are times when writing this blog is a breeze. Events happen that make it easy to respond. But often times, I have to come up with something entertaining or thought provoking to write about. Believe me, it is so much easier to write about something I am extremely passionate about than something that is just about me.

So screw it...I'm writing about me tonite.

I love to cook. I cook the majority of the meals in my house. I not only cook for my family, but I cook for our friends too. My wife loves my cooking so much she brags about it to her friends and invites them over to experience my food(she's a peach!).

I have no problem cooking for people. Without blowing my own horn(you know that what comes next is me blowing my horn), I'm pretty good at it. I have a background in restaurants and have been taught by some people that I think that are the best in their field(Big Bill I'm talking about you!).

I am also very welcoming to people who want to watch or take part in the cooking process as I go through the effort of preparing the meal.

To an extent.

Let me take you through an episode the other day that happened to me in my kitchen......did I mention my kitchen?

I was making Pumpkin Ravioli w/Mascarpone Cream Sauce for about 10 people at my house(it's freaking awesome....email and I'll send you the recipe).

My friend Linda was in a hurry to get home or something and started telling me how she thought my cooking could be better(hey, I'm all about receiving tips to make things better but for the love of god, I'm cooking for a dozen people here). I took her thoughts into consideration but I was cooking for a group of people and her thoughts were better for the next time I made this meal.

Like I said I'm good with suggestions. After all, if we don't listen to other's ideas we will never advance our cooking skill.

Without boring you with the details of how I prepare the sauce for this meal(which by the way is the key to the whole eating experience)I'll move on. I began cooking the sauce. For some reason Linda didn't think I was cooking it properly and adjusted the burner underneath my sauce pan!

YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!

That was it. "Get out of my kitchen." I yelled.

Of course I was chastised for yelling at a guest by my wife but for crying out loud! I listened to her ridiculous ideas on how to make my exactly perfect sauce better for close to an hour. Do I really have to allow her to come into my kitchen and adjust my burners?

I can handle all the cooking advice in the world. Everyone has an opinion as to how something may taste better. Ultimately it's my product. I'll listen but I don't have to follow the advice.

I will offer this advice to anyone who chooses to offer their thoughts on how a meal may come out better to a cook who is preparing it.....

1. Don't expect us to agree
2. Don't expect us to change our cooking procedure
3. Don't ever touch our heat

The last one is the most important.

It's like slapping someone on the ass while they're having sex and saying, "Hey! How's your Mom?"

Opening Day

2009-04-06T22:21:00.006-05:00

The words Opening Day could mean different things to different people. But whenever I have heard those words they have only meant one thing to me. Baseball. You see the game of baseball isn't just a game to me. It is a part of my life. It has been a part of me since I was a child. I will always think of baseball as the best part of my relationship with my father. He taught me how to play this game and the game taught me how to become an adult.

There is a quote from Jim Bouton a former big leaguer and I may not get this exactly correct, but as I know it to be goes like this....."I spent most of my life gripping a baseball, but I realize that it has been baseball gripping me."

We hold on so tightly to this game, but it is this game that has ended up teaching us the most important lessons in life.

It is widely known that the hardest thing in sports is to hit a round ball with a round bat. A Hall of Fame hitter fails to do this 70% of the time. Life can be so similar.

We try as friends, parents, spouses and all the roles we portray in life to be 100%, but in reality if we succeed 30% of the time we are actually accomplishing our goals. The best baseball players learn to overcome their failures. Understanding that overcoming adversity defines our character can make or break the way we live we our lives. We need to realize life is rough. No one can be perfect. Only through our failures will we be able to grow and learn.

I spent the day today with my friends Bryan and Shaun. They both took the day off work so they could watch opening day baseball with me. As we watched the games today, I couldn't help but think what a great thing Opening Day is. There aren't too many other days in the year when we can get together and just be. Baseball brought us together today. If for no other reason, baseball can be a good reason. We experienced that today.

As a husband and parent, time spent with a couple of friends can be increasingly difficult to come by. Baseball got us over that hump today. I'm happy it did.

Not only does Opening Day signify the beginning of the season, the beginning of good weather(for us in Chicago, not so much) and a feeling of rebirth, it also gives us, if nothing else, a good excuse to blow off our wives and hang out with the guys and just be.

Tips For the Home Dad

2009-04-02T20:57:00.004-05:00

I've been thinking about something lately. Considering the way things are going in our country these days I must believe there are more and more stay at home dads these days. With this in mind I thought I would give some advice to those who are new to this way of life.

Any dad who is new to the stay at home lifestyle will soon become overwhelmed especially if there are children involved. I have two. They are 4 year old twins. A boy and a girl. I'm sure I've said this before but I feel it needs to be fresh in every one's mind. Most of the advice/instruction I will dole out in the following verbiage will not pertain to taking care of the children. I feel we are all good dads in our own right and can handle feeding, washing and general care of our own children. This goes without saying.

It's the taking care of the household that is mind boggling. Literally, I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing when it comes to the cleaning and care of the house. The following is what I have learned to make my life as a stay at home dad easier for me and my wife....who by the way is going to work every day and hates that I get to stay home with our children. The first thing to realize as a stay at home dad is that your wife hates you! It's not because you're a loser. It's because you're getting to do the very thing she wants to do. My wife would give her left foot to be able to stay home with the kids while I work all day.

Let's just get straight to the help I can give to stay at home dads.

First of all, we must realize our goals. It's extremely important to understand the outcome of our work. Think about it, if you spend 40 hours a week at a job, you get a paycheck. If you work 40 hours a week taking care of the kids and the house you get a paycheck too....but it's generally payment in a person to person manner with your wife.

Let's get this right out in the open. As men, who are not working we have a diminished sense of self esteem. It's probably our biggest issue as stay at home dads. When it gets right down to it, the one thing that gives us the self confidence we need is relations with our spouse.

Basically, as a home dad, all we really are doing is trying to make the working mom happy enough to have relations with us.

Here we go!

Laundry

You gotta do the laundry. I know it sucks. But it's key to your woman's happiness. Always wash the clothes your wife looks hottest in. You know what I mean, that small tank top or the skimpy t-shirt that's a size too small. Wash her hot underwear. Don't waste your time on the granny panties. Remember, you're in control here. Wash the clothes she'll look best to you in. That crappy sweatshirt that is ugly and bulky moves to the back of the laundry room. Also remember, women don't use the same towel for a week or two like you do. They like to burn through towels(multiple...they use big towels for their body and smaller towels for that weird swirl thing they do on their heads). Stay on top of the towel laundry.

This is the most important thing to remember about laundry. You can wash the laundry you need for over a week in one load. Our clothing means nothing. We can live without it. We can always wear the same pair of underwear for days. Just turn it inside out.....this side is clean! Wash the kids clothes and the wife's clothes before yours, you'll be better off in the long run.

First Site is Key

It doesn't matter how clean the house is. If the first thing she will see when she walks in the door is a messy foyer, she won't see anything after that. Remember, her happiness when she walks in the door is key to you getting a piece later on! A simple trick to this is to arrange the shoes that are always in the foyer. Simply set them up in a neat line and when she walks in it will look like you've cleaned for hours....trust me it works. You will be amazed at how a neat foyer will help you later in the evening!

She Can See All

One of the important things you must learn right away is that your wife can see shit you never thought was there. My wife will not wipe away a spot that is behind the garbage can in the kitchen for weeks so she can call me out on it. Quite frankly, I don't look behind the freaking garbage can wall for stains because....hello....I'm taking out the garbage. But sure enough, she'll say, "You know that wall behind the garbage can has had a stain for weeks." I'm like, "If it's bugging you, grab a sponge and clean it!"

You can imagine that goes over well. Don't let this happen to you. Try to look at places you would never look. After all, we can't clean this shit as well as our women! But if you want your evening to end well, you have to find these ridiculous spots to wipe up. It only takes a second but your wife won't tell you where they are or do it themselves just so they can throw it in your face that it's hasn't been cleaned in weeks(as if it'd be cleaned if the witch didn't say something in the first place).

Always remember this tidbit. No matter how quickly you've cleaned something, double the time it took when you tell her. Remember when women clean they usually are on the phone with someone and it takes them twice as long to clean an area because their gums are flapping more than there is any cleaning happening.

"Damn honey, it took me hours to clean the bathrooms today."

One last thing that I did today. When the mailman comes and brings the new Kohl's shopping magazine. Throw that thing in the garbage. After that, make sure you fill the can with crap so you can get the bag out in the garbage can. The last thing we all need is more bulky sweatshirts!

I have more of these tips. I'll bring them to you in the days to come.

If I haven't mentioned it....thanks for reading!

A Wife Doesn't Have to Listen

2009-04-01T21:38:00.003-05:00

Come this June, I will have been married(to the same woman) for 16 years. I should say it has been the fastest 16 years of my life. But there are some things that have made begin to wonder why.

It's amazing how after being married for a long period of time you basically stop listening to each other. I don't mean you don't listen to the important things.....you know....bills, mortgage, the kids(the little monsters) and taxes. I mean the things about her sisters, friends and work that I couldn't care two dimes about.

My wife mentioned to me about a(so called) conversation we had about a friend of hers and something about dying her sister's hair.....blah, blah, blah.....I'm gone.

Are you kidding? If anywhere in my conversation with my wife gets to dying a woman's hair....I'm gone. There has to be something more pertinent in sports going on than a woman's hair color choice.

My wife kills me all the time..."You never listen to me!" You're goddamn right. How in god's green earth could I possibly listen to your woman crap for more than 15 seconds?

To be fair, she doesn't hear much I have to say anymore either. I can see her eyes and body language go completely away when I speak of sports or an antidote I may have found amusing in my daily life that I'm thinking of blogging about.

You see, after a couple has been married for an extended period of time, we begin to be able to finish each other's sentences. When it comes to my wife, she can complete my entire paragraphs! I'm not sure she has heard a single word I have said beyond, "You know what?......" She's heard it all.

If I ever complain about an existing paradox, she always explains to me, "We are soul-mates...I know what you are thinking."

After all these years of marriage, I find it amazing that we constantly rehash discussions we have had previously and tune them out. But if given the right amount of thought it's completely natural. Why would we listen to shit we've heard over and over for years?

It's these nuances that keep marriages together. It's not what breaks them up. We need to realize these are the day to day happenings that make our union stronger. All of us need to realize the opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. If we didn't care, we wouldn't hate! If we didn't care, we would move on.

You can only imagine the strength of my wife. To live and love with me for 15+ years is pretty amazing in my eyes, let alone yours. But when she is pissed at me, I know it's because she cares(and believe me it's more times than I would like to admit).

It blows my mind how much we don't hear each other these days. It's not that we don't listen, it's just that we know after all these years we've heard it before.

My Political Governor

2009-03-31T19:59:00.005-05:00

Wow! I just spent over an hour talking to my sister. She's insane and I love her for it. She reminds me of my wife(but that's another blog I haven't got clearance to write yet). My sister Peggy is a very important part of my life. I must say, this is a woman I wish everyone could meet. She is a trip. I love talking with her because the two of us have been through so much together. We have a bond that is unlike any other person I know. Trust me, it ain't always the greatest! But think about it, who bonds with people they always get along with in an in depth way?

Let me give you some background. Peggy is 2 years older than me. My other two sisters are 7 and 8 years older than me. When the older ones were off to college(at the same school no less) it was just me and Peggy. This was good and bad. All we had was each other. Peggy was young for her grade and I was old for my grade. Therefore, we had 3 grades separating us....yep you guessed it....Senior and Freshman in high school!

She would never talk to me in high school. But all her friends would! It made my transition to high school a little easier(high school sucks as a freshman, we all lived it). She took me to my first concert....The Doobie Brothers...I'll never forget it! Her girlfriends always liked me. And her boyfriends knew(as did all my sister's boyfriends from high school through life) getting me on their good side worked well on their behalf's).

As we grew older we got a little distant. I don't think this is unlike any siblings who have spent so much time together as children. We were pretty tight as kids....shit, she read the entire Charlie and the Chocolate Factory book to me when we were kids(by the way she had already read it)!

She went to college...I went to college....blah, blah, blah. I started becoming increasing liberal. She starting becoming increasing conservative. Boy this helped the relationship.

Who knows what influences the choices you make in your life. I can tell you, if you go to a conservative college odds are you will eventually become conservative and if you go to a liberal college odds are you will eventually become liberal. Low and behold, that's what happened! I know you're shocked.

When my folks got divorced after 33 years of marriage I was pretty distraught. Don't get me wrong, divorce hits us all in different ways and I spoke with my Mom and Dad regularly about my feelings, but I knew who I needed to talk to.....Peggy.

I still remember talking with her that first time after the divorce and she consoled me like no one else could. I think deep down she felt the same way. Our relationship with our parents was a different one than our older sisters. Think about the 70's and 80's. These were intense times. Women became more independent. Things started becoming more equal. It truly was a good time for us all. I believe my parents are better people today than if they forced themselves to stay together. That was the way of the 60's and 70's. Not in the late 80's.

The point is, Peggy was the only one who could get me where I needed to be during that time. Today, she is the same.

I can do no justice on this blog in describing her. To meet her is to know her. If I told you she was opinionated, the point wouldn't get across....not deep enough. If I told you she is never wrong(she is a Scorpio like my dad) it wouldn't be acute enough(she never used to be wrong, but she's better now...a little...just don't go in the kitchen when she's cooking).

The best way I can describe her is that she is my yin to my yang. She is my pro to my con. She has always tested me and makes me think deeply.

I would be remiss if I didn't tell you she is an incredibly talented and smart human being. She is a great mother and wife. She has two beautiful children and I'm extremely proud of her(but I probably have never told her that).

Now that I've kissed her ass significantly, let's get to the nitty-gritty. She called tonite to tell me how much she loves this blog(mind you she is not a telephone person so I was a little taken aback it was her on the phone and not her husband, who is...we talk all the time....more than I do with Peggy).

Peggy is my political governor. She keeps me on track. Readers of this blog know I tend to slide to the left. This woman is the person I think about when I write politically. Often times when I want to slide all the way to the left I will think of Peggy and realize we have two sides of government. Our forefathers wanted it this way. We all lose site of this so often. If it weren't for a different side, we would never check up on our politicians. She always reminds me of how important this is(of course in the last 8 years.....not so much...but I still get it).

We had such a great conversation tonite. We disagree often, but we don't fight. We're beyond that. We listen. How could you not listen to people you love? She is a person who is going through similar struggles as me?

Whenever you are reading and think I'm being too centered, it's because of Peggy. I'm proud of it.

I'm so glad she is reading because she has always been a part of my blog from day 1.

By the way....at one point in our conversation tonite she called me her husband's name. It was extremely great for me since I love her husband. So much so, he is the godfather of my daughter.

It's nice to know my sister married a guy who is a little like me sometimes!

Fantasy Baseball Together

2009-03-29T21:22:00.003-05:00

People don't realize why we play fantasy baseball. People look at it in an uninformed point of view. Largely fantasy sports leagues are viewed as weird and a waste of time. As a player of fantasy sports for about 20 years I really can't argue with these viewpoints. But I must tell you each year I spend a day at my fantasy baseball draft with some of my closest friends and this is where the attraction lies.

Two of my best friends, Bryan and Tim come to my house each year on the day of our fantasy baseball draft two hours before we need to arrive at the drafting site....which is the basement of the commissioner of our league's house.....stop thinking about how gay it is that 15-20 men gather in the basement of a man's house to do nothing but talk about baseball....it's more than that.

As I got in Tim's car after spending a couple hours with my good friends, I said to them, "You know the best part of this baseball draft is the two hours we get to spend together before we get in the car." I meant it and I know they knew I did.

You see, I talk with Bryan and Tim all the time. Rarely do we get to get together as a threesome and laugh and smile like we do when we are together. Hey, it's tough to get together when you have hockey games and Indian princesses(whatever the hell that is) or trips to grandma's or whatever it is that is taking all of our time as parents. Shit, when we became friends almost 20 years ago, we didn't think we would be chasing our kids around.

So you see, this stupid fantasy baseball league gives us all an excuse to spend time together.

Together is the key. The three of us rarely get together. It is uplifting, emotional and exhilarating to be with these two friends of mine in the same room at the same time. I care about them equally. I speak and spend time with them as much as possible. But it rarely happens that the three of us get to be together at the same time.

Everyone has go-to friends. These are the friends you call when you're in a tough spot and don't know which way to go. These are the friends you call when life is kicking the shit out of you and you need some honest advice. These are the friends you call when you need to be slapped in the face and you know they'll do it because they care about you so much that hurting your feelings isn't as important as getting you through the tough times. This is Bryan and Tim.

I am proud to have friends like these two. I know I am a better person today because of them. These two people have helped me through some of the darkest and toughest times of my life. I will always be indebted to them for the guidance and thoughtfulness they have given me throughout these years of our friendship.

The next time you hear about a fantasy baseball league, don't think about the stupidity(it is pretty stupid and all who play it know this), think about the fact that it gives men....who otherwise would have a problem stating it....a chance to be together.

It's the best part of my league.

What Would You Say?

2009-03-27T21:50:00.003-05:00

I'm a little blogged out tonite so I'm going to let my friends input their feelings...this should be fun....

First up is my sister in law Kathy.....Getting scared about the 40's world..... "I am quickly approaching the age of 40. I spent time with my fiance' talking about my childhood. I quickly realized that my childhood molded me to the "being" I am today. He responded in a very proud manner. Over the years, I have learned to appreciate myself, love myself and love my family and friends with unconditional thankfulness. I love them for giving me this. My childhood wasn't exactly the easiest of growing environments. Being the youngest of five siblings can be a bitch! Having their influence not only made me who I am today, but made me love and understand the way it made me. Life is what it is. I have two beautiful boys and I couldn't be more proud of them. I don't think they would be the young men that they are today if it weren't for the influence and the intense love of my family."

Next up is my lovely wife.....here we go... this should be interesting....."I believe that nobody should be in my personal life that isn't in my personal life. Although most people who read this I know personally, I don't believe that everyone I know should be privy to all aspects of my life. That is my blog."

I've been married to this woman for 16 years!

Time now for my new brother in law...who isn't my brother in law until October...but he is the guy who is marrying the woman above.....

This is Shaun...."I respect my future brother in law and I respect his blog...however...I do have a few criticisms; and I shall elaborate......, this is a different path than the original plan, however, I have had too many Blackhaus shots, I reserve the rite to change the course of this column at any time.

I was actually excited to have an opportunity to express my opinions on his blog....however...I was informed I was to dictate these feelings through him. This makes it much more difficult, but, I will do my best to convey my true feelings.

I was thrilled to have met the love of my life last June. It was truly love at first sight. How in the world could I follow the words from above of my future wife? Truly inspirational! I must tell you, every ounce of my being from our wedding day on, will be toward our happiness. I am pressured to write this last minute, and this is the best I can come up with, however, it is all true. Good luck Tom on this blog. and wish me the best in my adventure with the love of my life."

Boy, that was fun. I'm not sure what the hell we found out about all that but at least I didn't have to spew my thoughts for this evening. I was actuall going to destroy the NCAA tournament tonite, but I think this was wayyyyy better.

Although, I'm extremely confused!

Amusing Musings...

2009-03-25T22:04:00.006-05:00

I think it's time to have some musing....

I gotta tell you Ellen Ripley is one bad-ass woman. Every time I see the sequel to Alien, Aliens I can't turn the channel. I have seen this movie dozens of times. I can remember being at Big Bill's house almost every nite watching this movie back in the late 80's. You see Bill had a VCR and back in those days not many did. Plus he had a couple of cool movies. One of which was Aliens and by gosh we watched it every nite. Even if I had to be home at a certain time, I would inevitably stay and watch the entire thing. "Get away from her you BITCH!" C'mon she was bad as hell. Great stuff. The ending was an amazing hour of terror but the beginning had great comic relief from Bill Paxton(Big Love, Tombstone)...."I say we grease the rat fink S.O.B. right now!"....or....."6 weeks and out man, and I'm gonna buy it on this rock!" Really great stuff. Just a great movie. If you haven't seen it, try to rent it or catch it on cable. If not I'll call Big Bill and see if you can borrow his copy(I'm sure he still has it and still watches it from time to time).

....I seem to write about my son a lot. Hey a father and son have a bond. I don't write a lot about my daughter(his twin sister) mainly because if you're a father of a daughter you know there is nothing they do wrong or that is funny or basically anything that is anything. The only thing I can say about her is that she is the 4 year old version of my wife(I still haven't decided if this is a good thing for our marriage.....you know I never spell marriage wrong because I lost out on a spelling bee in 8th grade on that word....isn't it nuts the stupid stuff you remember?....I guess those spelling bees weren't completely useless)...where in the heck was I? Oh yeah, my daughter. She's the most beautiful being I have ever laid eyes on. She waits in bed for me to come wake her up. She could be up for hours but won't get out of bed until I come in and carry her to the living room. To say she's stubborn is to call the sun is as bright as a candle. Whenever I scold her she just walks away from me as to suggest, "You don't know what you're talking about." If I give her a timeout for beating on her brother, she just plays in her room. When I come to get her after a few minutes, she just marches right out of the room as if nothing ever happened. She's been annoyed with me lately because she is a swimmer. She loves the water. She swims under water in the tub! We have a pool in the backyard and for the life of her she can't understand why I haven't opened it up yet. I try to tell her that it's still too cold for swimming and she just looks at me and says, "No it isn't." Don't get me wrong, I know she knows more than me but she's 4, I'm 44 that should count for something but not to her. She just doesn't get me. I confuse the crap out of her. I can see her thinking, "Why doesn't he just listen to me?" Every day when the sun is out she asks me, "Is it summer now? The sun is shining." When I tell her "No it's still early spring and we can't go swimming for a couple of months." She just looks at me and gets pissed. Like it's my fault! Somewhere my wife is laughing.

....My son likes to watch cartoons on TV. For those of you who have younger children it's important to watch these shows. Some of them have content I'm not so sure my 4 year olds should watch. Granted, Michael's favorite show is Star Wars, The Clone Wars but I think a lot of that has to do with the fact it's my favorite show too and we always watch together. A lot of it goes over his head but he gets that Anikan Skywalker and Obi Wan Kanobi are cool dudes and we root for good over evil. He gets the whole Jedi thing. We have a great time watching together. But I digress. The other day I was watching a show called Ben-10 with him. I'm guessing Ben is 10 years old because he was talking about girls and making out and such. I don't really know what's going on but apparently he is fighting ghosts or something and has an ability to get special powers by punching his watch. Once again, I'm not sure of the whole gidst. Anyway, I say to Mike, "I'm not sure if you should be watching this show. I think that if it was called Ben-5 it would be more appropriate for your viewing." He says, "Yeah, but Daddy, then it wouldn't rhyme!"......I said, "Yeah but it has a lot of stuff that a kid your age probably shouldn't be watching." He said, "You know I like the action shows, like Star Wars The Clone Wars." DAMN!

....Yesterday we were watching TV and his sister wanted to watch a show. Mike and I were in my chair in the living room together and Janie(his sister) was right up in front of the TV......(side note...we have Storytime everyday. That's when I spend an hour reading to them...so don't go getting all high and mighty like I'm a shitty parent who let's them watch TV all the time like my wife thinks I do.....I just like to know what they're watching and this is a diatribe about the shows that they watch).....while I'm at it...my daughter Janie has the same disease her mother has, it's called Standing in Front of the TV So No One Else Can See Syndrome. My girl has no better viewing vantage point than directly in front of the screen. Even tonite while she was getting scared from the aliens in Aliens, she had to view the movie directly in front of the screen. I could see a planet exploding around a 4 year old's head....not the same thing as just seeing a planet explode...........now where the heck was I again....damn this is starting to get long. Oh yeah, Janie was watching her show. It was called Angelina Ballernina. It was about these mice who are ballerinas. I'm thinking okay I need to view this show and see if it's acceptable and it was so lame. The mice spoke in a british accent and were freaking ballerinas. Oh my gay! Anyway, I'm sitting there in the chair with Mike and I hear this snicker. Now I'm thinking that's the funniest thing I've ever heard because if it was my son, he was reading my mind. I wait. "Snicker." I look at him and he's grinning but trying not to grin....you know what I mean. I then, "Snicker." He's breaks up! The two of us started laughing out loud! It was so funny. But then because we didn't want to hurt Janie's feelings, we went back to snickering....quite frankly that was even funnier. It was a great father-son moment.

......Let me close with this one. When I talk to my sister on the phone, before we hang up she usually asks me for a good kid moment. Often times I can't come up with one because they come all the time you forget them easily....although since this blog has begun I have started writing down some of these so I can do a musings type blog like tonite.......it's my first foray into this style and I'm hoping it works....we'll see. My guess is it will get better feedback than when I rip a previous president. This would qualify as a good kid moment. I have been trying to get these two 4 year olds to pick up after themselves and it starts with cleaning their room. It amazes me how two little kids can make such a colossal mess of one small room. Anyhow, I told Mike he had to spend some time cleaning up his room with me. He said, "Daddy, when I'm 5 or 6 or 7 or 8 or even 16 years old, I'll clean up my room all by myself." Naturally I replied, "Be careful son, I'm gonna hold you to that." Do you know what he said? "Yeah, but then you won't be able to pick me up."

It just goes to show you, the only thing I have gotten correct in my parenting days is that they are always a step ahead of me!

64 Days and Confused

2009-03-24T21:11:00.002-05:00

We are 64 days into this presidency and it's already getting nuts. I've spent the last couple of hours watching President Obama's speech and the Q and A that followed with the media plus follow up reaction by various news stations......by the way, am I the only person in America that finds it wierd that the big 4 TV stations would rather run the likes of NCIS, House, Dancing with the Stars and the Biggest Loser(no lie) than run response to our nation's leader discussing what's going on with our country right now?...I wonder if this indifference or should I call it arrogance, was typical during the Great Depression?

Regardless, this was a doozy. No one knows if this stimulus package or budget proposal will work. I know at least we have a President who is trying. So much so, he looked pretty wiped out from his first 64. He kind of looked like Joe Dumars after covering Michael Jordan for 4 quarters. I'm proud of the fact we have a guy in office who is putting everything he's got into helping our country out of this tailspin. Blame the Repulicans of the last 8 years or blame the Democrats of the 8 years before that, it just doesn't matter we are all in this together and he seems legit in his efforts.

A 47 year old is closer to being someone who is my friend and caring about my situation than a 72 year old who is more like my father and looks at my situation differently. I'd hate to see what McCain would look like today after his first 64 days in this situation.

Let's speak about the presser tonite. I am extremely cautious whenever I see a speaker or interview-ee call on his/her questioners to ask questions. My experience has always taught me that this usually means the speaker has been briefed on the questions the media personnel are going to ask.

Tonite, if you noticed, there was a woman reporter who's name escapes me, but she was called upon to ask a question and she seemed shocked. So much so, that the President even asked her if she was surprised. She said, "Well, yes I am." Almost to suggest she thought her predetermined question was too aggressive that he would never call on her. To the President's credit he fielded some tough questions from the media tonite. But if you noticed, when the media member would take it upon themselves to ask a follow up question, he would answer quite curtly and abruptly. You could see his calm and cool dimeanor stiffen slightly. Media people are good at knowing how to get ahead and compete with each other more than most people. After the first questioner got away with a follow up question, the following media personnel did the same and Obama was clearly not pleased.

These follow ups were the unrehearsed questions that I believe he was not prepped on. Hence his reply to why it took him 2 days to respond to the AIG bonuses and he said, "I like to know what I'm talking about before I talk about it." Granted this is my read on the situation but I have been in enough press conferences to know the tricks of the trade.

Once again, this is neither here nor there. I did come away with some extreme positives tonite.

President Obama is pissed about AIG. He wants to correct the wrong that is the health care situation in this country. This health care situation is an abomination and it needs to be taken care of immediately. Our best doctors should be helping people(my brother in law is the best at what he does and he has to fight for clients). The crummy ones should be shown the door. We as citizens should not have to pay astronomical fees to be medically treated. Our children should be able to receive decent health care without taking out a second mortgage. It's just not right.

We are an economy that lives off of the spending of consumers. If we consumers had more money to spend instead of paying for the ridiculous price of health care, we would spend it. Unlike these corporate CEO's who are just keeping the money for themselves and not putting it back into the economy, the middle class are the spenders. Give us the money and we'll spend it on our children, our family and ourselves. This is what capitalism is all about.

One of the other points I heard that hit home tonite was when Obama was asked about the race issue. He proudly said, "Not after the first day."

Way to go Prez. People don't care if you're purple, we need some decisions to get us out of this mess. Let me tell you personally, this mess sucks. We need help out here. I respect our president for never playing the race card(although the media may have...I'm not stupid). I do lose respect for people who think because he is a man of race, the victory has been completed. Believe me the racial lines we have severed because of his election will be rebuilt so fast if he fails. It's crucial to our country's well being he succeeds.

We all need this to succeed. Republicans and Democrats alike. Many of my family and friends live in Michigan. This area needs help and fast. Nothing will help more than money to put back into the economy.

I for one am rooting for this country to turn the luxury liner around. Quicker than the Poseidon against a tidal wave.

One reason is because I've been telling my father I can handle things my way for a long, long time and I don't want to let him down. I never have.

The Learning Scale of a Parent

2009-03-21T21:14:00.003-05:00

My wife and my friends are next door at my neighbor's house. They're having a hoot of a time but I'm dying to blog. It's insane, but I couldn't concentrate on anything anyone was saying because all I could think about was my blog tonite and I got a good one! My wife even said to me, "You're dying to blog aren't you?" She knows me too well.

Okay, here we go. Yesterday, my son comes to me and says, "Daddy, I don't want you to be disappointed in me but I have something to tell you."

Now I know this is not going to be a good thing. If it was something stupid, he certainly wouldn't try to control my angst by telling me first...I brace myself....I feel myself clenching my teeth together as he gets ready to tell me.

"I broke the door off the TV stand."

Background time.....my wife and I have been telling this kid not to mess with the TV stand's door for weeks. He doesn't do it purposely, but he does it unconsciously. We are constantly telling him to stop because he is going to break to door.

Now he has broken the door. I'm about to lose my mind! He ripped the door off the hinges and every time I look at it, I realize there is virtually no way I'm going to be able to fix it.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Are you kidding me?

So I sequester myself in a far away bedroom so I don't kill the child. I'm waiting for Mom to call me after her workout because she always calls me on her drive from the health club to work. She calls and is all giddy because the scale moved in the right direction. When she hears my tone she is concerned, "What's wrong?"

I tell her what happened and we discuss how to deal with it(she's privately proud of me for not beheading our child). After she calms me down, we come up with a proper punishment for the boy. I tell her, "I realized this morning that calling him a son of a bitch kills two birds with one stone!"

She realizes that me making lite of the situation meant I was calm enough and capable to deal with the next step which was the one-on-one discussion and the delivery of the punishment.

I then pick up my son and bring him into our bedroom. I explain to him that I'm not upset with him because he broke the door of the TV stand(mind you, this is 500+ dollar bureau type monstrosity my wife thought would look beautiful in our living room and it does...well did).....Side Note....why in the hell do we buy nice furniture when we know very well these freaking kids are going to ruin it? I remember as a kid we had the nastiest, orange colored chairs forever in our living room and I'm sure it was because my mom knew if we had nice chairs, us kids would just destroy them. We destroyed everything in our house. I'm sure my wife and her siblings destroyed everything that was decent in their house too. What the hell were we thinking when we bought this nice stuff?

Back to my son...I told him I don't care about the stuff...I care about the fact that you didn't listen to Mommy and Daddy. We told you if you kept messing with that door you would break it. I then told him the suckiest part of all, "You're going to have listen to people your entire life. Even if they tell you things you don't want to hear or believe."

I think that last part was more for me than him but what the heck I was in the zone.

Then I told him I had to punish him. I had to take away something he enjoyed. My wife and I had decided on his punishment.

This is what gets me. This whole parenting this is messed up. I have no idea what the heck I'm doing. I'm just trying not to screw up this beautiful kid's future.

I told him, "You're not allowed to play on the computer for the entire weekend."

He said, "How long is that?"

I said, "Well, it's today, tomorrow and Sunday."

He said, "Cool, that's not that long at all!" And he ran out of the room.

I was pissed. We should've came up with a more painfully suitable punishment. This one certainly wasn't that bad. Son of a bitch.

Parenting is tougher than I ever thought it would be. I'm still trying to figure it out. As much as my wife and I try to figure it out, our kids have us played. They seem to always be a step ahead of us.

AIG....OMG!

2009-03-20T14:42:00.004-05:00

I have to speak about this whole AIG scandal. It's amazing and appalling to me that corporations like this are so arrogant they not only think their actions aren't despicable, they don't realize they did something horrible to our entire country....this may be going a bit far but what the heck, I'm pissed. We all should be pissed. Someone should tell these idiots that trickle-down only works if there is a trickle! These people think trickle-down is what gets on your pants after taking a pee at the urinal.

This is a direct slam on the taxpayers of our country and the people in charge should be held responsible. I am so sick and tired of the people at the top getting a free ride. It's so easy for them to blame someone else in the company but in reality if somethings bad happens while you're the boss, it's your fault. Stand up and take your beating.

I had a boss who knew how to be a boss. I saw him many times handle mishaps at our business because, "It's ultimately my responsibility and I'll handle it." I must admit there were times when he had to handle something I may have handled improperly but I saw him take care of problems regularly. After all, isn't that why he was put in that position in the first place? Mind you, he would never forget having to handle it and sometimes would call it to your memory, but I never saw him back down from taking the responsibility first and foremost.

My favorite punching bag Bud Selig(commissioner of baseball) has done this several times during his tenure. He blames the players for abusing the right to play baseball for millions of dollars by injecting steroids into their bodies. Wasn't he the one sitting at home watching the players get bigger and bigger? Wasn't he the one sitting at the ballpark and seeing the size of the player's heads grow abnormally? After all he has reminded us time and time again that no one watches more baseball than him. Are we so blind we can't see his direct benefit from players getting bigger and stronger? I can think of 17+ millions reasons a year how he has benefited....his salary was posted this year.

I should say that it scares me that the Congressional solution is to tax the bonuses paid by AIG by 90%. I agree the money should be returned to the taxpayers of our nation, but this seems like a very slippery slope we are treading upon. Congress has enough power as it is, but to utilize the power to take money away from working people in the future is a whole new bag of worms. Democrat or Republican control, I sure don't want my world taxed anymore than it already is and 90% is a pretty big number. That's the highest percentage I have seen in my lifetime.

Personally, I think the insurance industry is pretty nuts. We have to pay for insurance on everything. I can't get a car without buying insurance. I can't get a home without insurance.
I can't a mortgage without mortgage insurance. I can't have children without insurance. Think about how the doctor bills add up when you have 5 year old twins even with insurance! And the most ridiculous part of it all is the insurance companies have set themselves up with insurance too. If you get in a car accident, you get a payout to help with your bills(after paying your deductible) but then they raise your rates because you aren't as safe anymore and they essentially get their money back. Try getting health insurance if you're not healthy. Forget about it. If you get sick, they raise your rates because now you aren't as healthy as you were. This is all said without the fact if you don't get in a car accident or you don't get sick they continue to receive your premiums and pay nothing out. It is the epitome of win-win-win. They just can't lose.

Think about this for one moment. If you drive without your seat belt on you get a ticket. How does you driving without a seat belt make my life any safer? I don't care if you want to risk your life. I know my kids will always be in the proper car seat and buckled down for their own safety. I know I will buckle because I want my kids to have a daddy for as long as possible. You are not a safer driver if you don't wear your seat belt. The biggest benefit is to the insurance companies. They save money if you don't get hurt in an accident. They save money if you are not thrown from a vehicle.

I know it's out there and quite a scary thought but I get these all the time and one of the reasons I started this website was to get them out. Frankly my friends and family are a little tired of hearing me say, "I have a theory about that."

Bottom line is that selfishness can make people do some awful things. Even to an entire country.

Michael for Commissioner

2009-03-18T21:05:00.004-05:00

It's time for the commissioners of our favorite sports leagues to step down. Talk about your typical AIG assholes. David Stern, Bud Selig, Gary Bettman and the latest NFL stooge should all step aside. They have devastated the sports we have come to know and love. I am so sick and tired of hearing about these pampered pro atheletes and how we need to be passionate and give them a second, third and sometimes fourth chance.

These commissioner have been giving themselves raises year in and year out while they allow athletes to denigrate our sports. Bud Selig is the George Bush of our baseball era. He speaks about how player/owner relations have never been better but never mentions the fact that he was the cause of baseball fans all over the country missing out on the playoffs and World Series because of these same "relations".

Bush always said we haven't had a terrorist attack since 911. But "Hello"....911 happened on his watch. The same is true for Selig. His regime will always be known as the "make money for myself regardless of what happens to the sport" era. Just think about the "steroid era".

David Stern has turned what was a fun sport to watch into a "who cares" league.

Gary Bettman could be the most volatile of the group. His arrogance lost us fans an ENTIRE SEASON! An entire season. This arrogant piece of garbage(edited for content) felt he was bigger than all of the fans of hockey that he didn't think it would hurt the game if we lost an entire season.

What a freaking joke. If you saw how much these so-called overseers of our sports made per year, you would puke. They have proved to us that they don't care about the fans or the game they are supposedly overseeing and that they only care about putting money in their own pockets.

Personally, I feel this is the genesis of all the problems with our economy and well being presently but I try to stay away from the political arguments on this blog because I really want my sister Peggy to read(although I don't think she does).

I have a solution to the commissioner dilemma we are saddled with today. I propose my son, Michael become commissioner of all the sports leagues.

Hey, he turns 5 in a couple weeks. He certainly could do better than the people we have in position now.

Michael would tell Marshawn Lynch who is hoping his suspension won't be 4 games and only 2 for carrying a loaded weapon in publc that he needs a timeout and is due for a spanking. Now that it's his second time in "timeout land", he's done. Mike will take away something Marshawn wants, to teach him a lesson.....the opportunity to partake in the NFL is perfect. Guess what Marshawn, you're gone. Mike would have no problem telling him that. Listen if it isn't fit for a 5 year old then you shouldn't do it.

Let's look at that. If a 5 year old shouldn't see it, than don't do it. If you do something a 5 year old wouldn't approve of, you're gone. Quit all this pampering b.s.

Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens should go to jail. They lied to a grand jury. My 5 year old knows not to lie. These cheaters need to realize the consequences of their actions and own up to it. If they get to go free without paying a substantial price, my son will think it's okay to lie.....even to a grand jury.

I've heard it all before. Athletes aren't role models. I realize this but the fact is that kids in the world look up to them. If they can't uphold simple values then they should be shown the door.

Pacman Jones is a bad person. He's proved it over and over. Why can't these commissioners just say good-bye. I don't care if a team feels they are being cheated because the guy they spent so much money on can't behave himself in public. Sorry, you drafted him or traded for him, do some research and know what kind of person, not just what kind of player, you are getting.

The bottom line is that these commissioners know that the high profile players make them money. I say my son can draw a more discriminate line than these pawns.

If a player's actions make a 5 year old uncomfortable, than they should be done. No second chances.

In an economy where people are losing their jobs and their houses at an incredible rate but athletes salaries are still reaching new highs, the right and priveledge to play sports should become more treasured. These low-lifes who seem to think they are above it all should not be allowed to participate.

If they can't respect it, they shouldn't be able to take part.

My son knows this.....he'd be a great commissioner.

USA....It's a Good Feeling

2009-03-18T02:18:00.002-05:00

I say "U"...you say "S"....I say "A".....USA....USA....USA! You gotta be kidding me. A three run rally in the bottom of the ninth? Say it ain't so!

I feel like Tony in West Side Story...."We beat the Puerto Ricans!"

After the PR's beat the crap out of us this week and we walked off the field beaten by slaughter rule, all I wanted was another crack at them. I watched the game last nite that had Venezuala vs. Puerto Rico and I rooted for Puerto Rico to lose so we could face them again. Vindication was all I wanted.

Let me regroup for a moment. David Wright's double tonite made me a little on the giddy side of life.

I live in Chicagoland. Every fan of every team in this town believes they are on the team they root for. When the Cubs win a game, my friends all say the same thing, "Did you see how well we played?"

When the Bears win a game it's, "Did you see how well we played on defense today?"

When the Blackhawks win a game....of course it's not against the Red Wings....it's always the same thing, "We played so well on both ends of the ice!"

The World Baseball Classic has actually brought me closer to my Chicago fan friends. This is a team I can call we with all my friends.

I'm not from here originally. My ties are to my Detroit teams that I grew up with. This doesn't go over too well with my Chicago fan friends. They understand, but the rivalries of our teams is rooted beneath our friendships.

The beauty of the WBC is that we can all say we when we talk about our team in this tournament. We're rooting for America. And that my friends is the ultimate we.

I had to have corned beef and cabbage at our friends house tonite because I don't have the MLB network at home. It was all good. I did feel a little like an outsider as I didn't participate in the nice outdoor weather on the patio, but I was watching the game. What a game it turned out to be!

As my wife was leaving in the top of the ninth, she noticed the score and said she was sorry we weren't winning. I told her it wasn't over yet. She grinned and took the kids home. I know she was thinking, "Keep hoping babe. Just don't be too late." She didn't say it and that's probably why I love her because she really does know when to keep her mouth shut when it comes to my sports passions.

My nephew, who was "texting" the whole freaking game was actually in the same room with me so I said to him, "We've got good guys coming up in the ninth, this game isn't over." He grunted at me so I knew he was alive which was more response I had gotten from him the whole game to this point but I was starved for attention.

Single....single....stolen base....out....walk....walk(run)....double....GAME OVER!

I was screaming from my chair. Move over Rover and let Jimi take over. Let's move to the next round.

Everyone said we were dead.

Say what you will about the WBC. It causes injuries. Players don't get enough consistent work. I don't care. What I do care about is that I'm enjoying competitive baseball in mid-March. The best part is that I'm cheering for us!

Team USA seems to have adopted a spirit that we can all take to heart. They are playing for us. These are guys who battle each other on the field during the regular baseball season but have come together and built unity regardless of otherwise feelings.

We are headed to the next round. I couldn't be more happy for us!

It's nice to be rooting for the USA with my friends!

Funny, I root for the USA every day.....baseball or other.

Baseball Memories for a Lifetime

2009-03-16T22:56:00.006-05:00

Taxes are due to be done. Kids just want to go outside because it's 65 degrees and sunny. Laundry is piling up............"Daddy, can we play baseball?"....."Are you kidding?....yes son, let's just find our gloves and the ball and the bat.....do you have shoes on?.....whoops, we're playing already and I just noticed you don't have pants on!.........sure we can play baseball!" That was me today.

We played..I pitch/you hit 3 times today. It's a great game. I pitch underhand to my son and he rips it way off to my right and I have to chase the ball down the street while Michael runs around the "bases" as if he hit a homerun. He's only 5 years old and he can't hit it that far yet, but if it's off to my right, I'm trotting after that ball down the street. He knows it's going to take me awhile to get it, so he can make it all the way around by the time I get back to the "pitcher's mound".

Let me tell you, I was the first to say, "Last one?" Remind you this happened 3 times today. I'm gassed. He's done too. He crashed early tonite. He had nothing left in the tank after "Harrison steak" and potatoes tonite!

I want nothing more than for my son to love baseball. Last nite while we were watching the USA vs. Netherlands in the World Baseball Classic, he sat in my chair w/me.

He said to me, "Daddy, I love baseball and I like watching it with you. I think this is the first time we've ever watched baseball together and I like it."

I had no reply than a grunted, "Yup." I was so choked up, I had nothing else.

My little guy doesn't realize something......time for some recap.......

My twins were born on the Cub's home opener in 2004. Janie was 4 lbs, 11ozs and Michael was 3lbs, 11ozs. If you've had children you know that the day after they're born they lose a half a pound. Day 2, Michael was only 3lbs, 3ozs and not eating that well. Janie was 4lbs, 3ozs but eating like a champ and was doing great.

That nite I left at midnite.....the nite they were born...it was a Monday....on Tuesday when I get back to the hospital, Janie was already in the room with my wife. My brother and sister in-law were there with my wife and doting over Janie(she's a beautiful girl and was a ray of light as a baby!).

I hugged Janie, held her and kissed my wife and then I disappeared.

I went straight down to NICU where Michael was under the heat lamp. I sat with him for hours. While I was with him the phone in our area rang and the nurse told me it was for me.

It was my wife and she was crying....you see she had left her bed the nite before to see our babies and puked all over NICU because of the drugs she was on after her major surgery to give birth....they weren't too geeked to see her soon after that.....she asked me how Mike was. She was so happy holding our new baby girl but she was so scared about our boy. I've never felt more empathy for her.

You see, I was worried about my boy. Don't get me wrong, I love my daughter with every ounce of my heart, but there will always be something between a father and his son. Granted there will always be something between a father and his daughter but this story kinda works the other way.

I sat with him all night and the next day he was eating better and able to come upstairs to be with his mother and me. The next couple days at the hospital were awesome. We would hold the kids all day long and whenever they got fussy or would want to be fed or changed all we had to do was call the nurses and they took care of it.
When we were leaving I asked if they could come with us and they said they couldn't. Bummer!

Friday, I took the whole family home. It was the scariest drive of my life. Michael was just over 3 pounds and Janie was just over 4 pounds. Neither of them fit in the car seats. I was driving 25mph in a 40mph zone. It was hilarious. My wife said, "There are kids on their bikes passing us!"

Anyway, to make a long story longer....I got everyone home safely. The next day, Saturday, I sat with Michael in my favorite chair , the same chair we were in yesterday, and we watched a day game at Wrigley. He couldn't even keep his head up but it was aaaawwwweeeesooooome for me!

When he said that to me last nite, it brought a tear to my eye because I will never forget watching that first baseball game with him, who at the time wasn't more than 3 and a half pounds of a person.

I'm gassed and my knees are killing me because I chased hits from him all day but you know what?.........it's worth it!

Life at the Kid's Table

2009-03-14T01:59:00.004-05:00

I found out tonite that I'm not in the wedding party. How many times has this come up in your life? Don't get me wrong, I've been in plenty. It just doesn't matter how many people you know who decide to get married there is always that thought in your head...maybe I'll get asked to stand up.

Every time I have stood up in a wedding, I have had a blast. My two favorite Tim's come to mind. Good times.

My sister-in-law recently found the right man....after an exhausted search(sorry Steve). Four months in, my new friend Shaun asked her to marry him. She said yes and all is happy in sister-in-law land. Except for one problem.....

I ask some simple questions. Who was there when your country-ass was scared about asking her to marry you? Who talked you down from the ledge when her kids scared the crap out of you? Who stood tall behind you when you weren't sure she'd say yes? Who befriended you when everyone else thought you were just another flash in the pan? Ooops....was that out loud?

Damn I do that all the time. It's not that I'm bitter about not being asked to stand up in the wedding....it's, it's, it's....I'm bitter about not being asked to stand up in the wedding.

You see....my wife is in the wedding and my children are both in the wedding too....I'm not sure what the hell the kids are doing, but I do know I'm paying for a small dress and a small tux for 5 year olds.

Sure...use my kids to make your wedding special, but don't worry about me....I'm good....I never wanted to be a part of your nuptuals.

Are you starting to feel me? I don't know if you know what it's like to break through the binds that tie in a family like my in-laws.....it's rough. I've been through it. I liked Shaun from the beginning and we have become friends. The cool thing is it wasn't because of effort. It was because we have things in common and he is a genuinely good guy. I have been there for him through the uncomfortable "getting to know everyone" period. He always knew he had a fall back in me.

Now I must put this all in perspective. My sister-in-law, Kathy is having her two sisters stand up. Shaun is having his son from a previous marriage and Kathy's son from a previous marriage stand up with him(apparently I needed to be from a previous marriage to stand up). This is all admirable. But what the heck? Am I chopped liver over here? Everyone in my family is standing up in this freaking wedding but me. I'm going to be at the table in the back of the room with the children who were allowed to come to the wedding because their parents couldn't find or afford a babysitter.

Have you ever been at a wedding where your spouse or date is in the wedding party? It sucks. The conversation at your dinner table is so uncomfortable. "Soooo.....you're close the bride and groom but not close enough to be considered to stand up?"

"No, no that's my entire family up there. Really they like me. It's not just my family they like."

Okay. I realize I'm being selfish. Let me put this out there. Kathy and Shaun are a great couple. Shaun has made my sister a happier and stronger woman than I have ever seen her. They truly are in love and make a great couple because they make each other better people by being together. I love them both and wish nothing but happiness for them in the many years to come.

In the meantime, I guess I'll just enjoy this family-style chicken at the kid's table.

The Unacceptable Listener

2009-03-11T21:33:00.005-05:00

REO Speedwagon....Oh my! My wife and I had some friends over last night(we have people over often....hey, we like it....others like it too...at least I guess they do or they wouldn't be coming over now would they?). We were having a nice time chatting and conversating in the kitchen(why do people always congregate in the freaking kitchen all the time? I just don't get it....I had a nice fire in the fireplace going in the living room, but everyone gathered in the kitchen....the kids were in the living room! Personally, I don't think they gave a flying poop about my nice fire....but anyway....), when my wife came in she put a cd into the kitchen stereo and turned REO Speedwagon all the way to "eleven".

The conversation ended but the rockin started as she loaded Speedwagon's greatest hits of the 70's and 80's. We're talking, Golden Country, Like you do, Roll with the Changes, etc. Everyone was enjoying it (I even did a special "air piano" during Roll with the Changes that was spot on). It got me to thinking.

When I was in my teens....growing up in the Detroit suburbs....we didn't listen to REO. They were too "Top 40". You see I rocked to REO when they put out the songs I listed above. But when they came out with that sucky top 40 album, High Infedelity, all interest in them became unacceptable.

My friend Ricky and I would listen to songs like Golden Country and push the volume to the maximum level. After that top 40 sellout album, we didn't. If there were people in the car and Golden Country came on we would switch stations. We knew it was a great tune but because of the sellout album, we just couldn't be accepted if we listened to them anymore.

My sister tonite gave me a great label....."The Unacceptable Listener". I was telling her of the tale of our gathering last nite and she said that my wife is an "Unacceptable Listener". I was slightly confused. She told me that the first time she came to visit me in Chicagoland, my wife introduced her to "Disco Saturday Nite" on the radio. There was a radio station in town not long ago that used to play nothing but disco on Saturday nites. My wife used to blare that music all nite long. She said it loud and she said it proud!

My sister told me, "That's when I knew your wife was an Unacceptable Listener."

My wife is not afraid to listen to music that might be labeled "unacceptable". She listens to what makes her feel good. No matter what anyone else may think.

I know I have always been that way. I can think back to my Pablo Cruise album(I can't talk to you now because I'm at the bottom of the pool). But I wasn't always able to put it out there in the open.

We should all be "Unacceptable Listeners" when it comes to the music we love. Music fills our hearts and souls with that unexplainable yearning. Music tells the tale of our lives.

I can remember one of the first conversations I had with my wife. We talked about the music we liked. After melding our music tastes together, I knew I would marry her. It was a defining moment. It still is. Music is unexplainable, but it is a need. We need it. It is a way for us to express ourselves without expressing ourselves.

Sharing music with others is about the best feeling I ever feel.

Here is something we can all learn from my wife.....being an "Unacceptable Listener" is not something for which you should be ashamed.

By the way....Journey was my first concert.

Stem Cell-icious

2009-03-10T21:53:00.002-05:00

Isn't it a typical situation. You start a website and within a week, the computer breaks down and you spend/waste an entire day on the phone with Tech Support geeks who confuse the crap out of you. Regardless, here we go for today.....

Even though I'm a day late, I must say the news of President Obama's signing of the bill to end the ban on stem cell research is a godsend. Especially to me and my family.

You see we have been burying people at an alarming rate in the last couple of years. Mainly due to a horrific disease that runs in my wife's family. It's called Ataxia and plain and simply it takes people away from us at way too early a date. Do me a favor and look it up. Support it's research in any way you can. Or just support those who are fighting it. Trust me it's not a pretty disease and those who are dealing with it are stronger people than I can ever wish to be.

A few years ago we were getting very positive feedback on not only a cure for Ataxia but a way to reverse the symptoms of those already inflicted (it is a crippling disease that takes its time destroying a person). Literally, those infected could get treatment and be back to their normal selves in no time.

The research break-throughs were due to stem cell testing. In the last few years we have been waiting for more news but none has come.

Yesterday, hope came back into the Ataxia situation. Thanks to Obama standing up to the opponents of research and progress, the future is brighter.

Personally, I don't quite get why anyone would want to stand in the way of progress. Isn't that what we've been doing for all these years as a society? And if someone tells me it's due to religious reasons I don't get that either.

As a catholic person basically my whole life I have been taught that my religion comes down to two basic principles....love God and love your neighbor. Isn't doing everything you can to cure people of their ailments loving your neighbor?

When my wife and I got pregnant we fertilized 11 embryos. They were grown for 3 days. On the third day they each were tested for the chromosone dificiency I have. Out of the 11, 2 didn't have it. Today, their names are Michael and Janie. Let me tell you if you haven't seen these little gifts from above, they are the greatest one-time embryos I have ever seen. The other 9 embyros were thrown in the garbage. If those embryos could have been tested to help research a cure for the people in my life and everyone elses who have died in the last 5 years, doesn't it make sense to use them?

Sure does to me.

I don't know about you, but with all that is going on in our society and our economy, to have a president who realizes if/when we get this all straightened out it sure would be nice if the people we love can be around to enjoy it.

Turn Back the Clock

2009-03-08T22:51:00.002-05:00

It's amazing what an hour will do. Life in Chicagoland is a bitch. We have the worst weather in the country. PERIOD. People to the east and west actually have a spring and fall. We have cold ass weather then too hot for comfort. We don't get a spring. It's ridiculous. People on the west coast get great weather all year. People in the south wish it would be 60 so they could be comfortable. 60? Suck me.

Don't get me wrong. I love the snow at Christmas time. It's beautiful. It brings the spirit of the season home. My wife prays for a white Christmas every year and she's an atheist!

Sure the snow at Christmas is nice but when it gets to be March....go the frick away! I've had enough.

I'm tired of being cold and angry. I want to be warm and merry!

Tonite we turned back the clocks. The first sign that spring is upon us. The weather reports tell us we are going to be in 30's this week.....F@#k You! Spring my ass. Don't give me a couple 60 degree days and then go back to the 30's. That's total bull!

Hey, when we were in the minus 10's.....30 degrees was great....it was like a heat wave. But not now. I got a couple of 60 degrees days now I'm in. Now 30 degrees sucks!

7 o'clock tonite it was lite out. I don't give a flying f@#k whether some stupid ground hog in Pennsylvania saw his shadow or not....give me some spring! If it's lite out at 7 o'clock....you best be giving me some decent weather.

As a person from the Chicagoland could only say......I'm so sick of winter, if spring doesn't get here soon I'm jumping off the nearest cliff.....no lie....test me....bitch.

Friends are scary

2009-03-08T22:16:00.004-05:00

Sorry about yesterday, I had too much happening at the house and not enough ideas to fulfill a quality posting. Weekends at our house are usually full of friends until late night. This is a good thing. My wife and I love the company and openly invite our friends to our home. One of our friends has been absent for the last couple of weeks. I have asked my wife, "what is up with Linda? We haven't seen her for some time." Linda is a great friend of ours and is a terrific person. My wife and I love her dearly. She's the kind of person you have known as an acquaintance from other friends but when you start talking with her you become instant friends because you have so much in common and you just....you know....connect.

After this realization about her, Linda has become a fixture at our house. She gets along with my children wonderfully and is just a good person to be around. She makes you feel good just by being in the same room.

She would come by even for a short while just to hug the kids or say hello or have dinner with us. The last two weeks she has been absent. I haven't seen her. I began to worry.

Often times because I am so emotionally outspoken, I have a tendency to drive people away. My friend Linda has had many conversations with me and is emotionally and intellectually equiped to handle me and my theories/opinions. Still I was worried I may have done or said something to push her away.

Come to find out, she has had a horrific two weeks of work and has been holed up in her condo working evenings to stay on top of her work duties. We got together tonite with my neighbor and had a great evening of food and fun....all is well.

But this brings me to my point....so many times we think the worst of our friends first. Instead of thinking that things in our friend's lives may be keeping them from us, we think they don't care. More times than not it is our own insecurities that are telling us that. Think about it....why are we friends in the first place? Because no matter what life may bring the both of us, I will still love you as my friend.

Insecurity is what makes us think the worst of people. In reality we should be thinking of the best.

I'm glad all is well with Linda....she makes me happy!

I feel bad that I was worried about my friendship with Linda but I also realize that it means alot to me that she is my friend. I will always give her the benefit of the doubt from here on out because she has earned it and deserves it.

Men and Women in the 21st Century

2009-03-06T20:46:00.000-06:00

I've got to go back to the Facebook thing. I got to talk to one of my best friends in the world tonite. I haven't connected with him in longer than I would like to admit. I remember him standing up in my wedding, traveling all the way from Michigan to be a part of my marriage ceremony. It was as important to him as it was to me. Of course he didn't have to live with her for all these years, but that's another story. As I chatted with my friend Jeff, he told me of his divorce and the pain that he has suffered through. Sucks. That's all I can summon. It just sucks. Jeff loved his wife. He probably still does although that will go away with time and I think he knows that. Noone tried harder to make life happy with his wife. I know that because I know my friend. The problem is society. It always is.

We today are suffering the pains of the past. 30 years ago, our fathers treated their women with no heart at all. They felt if they brought home the bacon and provided finacially for the family, that was the end of it. They struggled with loving their spouses. That's what they knew. That's what their parents taught them. Providing was what they were brought up on. Loving was something that was understood through the money. It still amazes me how men/fathers back in the day when I was young didn't think they had to do anything more than bring enough money into the family to be loved. I spent over 25 years of my life trying to get my father to notice me. I tried to get him to notice that spending time with me playing catch was more important to me than the money he brought home to keep our family going. I never realized the pressure that he was under. If he lost his job, we were screwed. I promised my son today we would play catch and we didn't. After going to the woods, our next door neighbor's son came over and they got to playing. At about 6 o'clock I realized we didn't get to play catch. It really is tough being a dad. I try so hard but sometimes I fall short.

Today, being a dad is dealing with the fact you always feel like you are failing. I always feel like I'm not doing a good enough job. I always feel like I've let him down some way. Maybe it's because I always felt my dad didn't have enough time for me growing up. But given the proper thought, he was dealing with all the work stress as well as dealing with the fact that me, my mom and my three sisters were relying on him to keep us happy.

When I think about it today, I know there were probably many times my dad wanted to tell his boss that he was an arrogant piece of garbage who had to check with corporate every time he had to take a piss, but he didn't because of us. I give him the pass on skipping our catch sessions every once in while. Don't get me wrong, we played catch but not as much as I would've liked as a kid growing up.

Alot of men back then had mistresses. I'm not sure if it was to get something different in the sack than what they were getting at home from their wives or it was just some way to vent stress. Whatever the reason, they had relationships outside of their marriages.

It seems to me today's men are paying for the ways of our forefathers. Women seem to be the ones who have the affairs. Men may stray but it's more than likely some drunken roll in the hay that only lasts for that moment. Women are the ones who have relationships with others outside the marriage. I have a friend who got divorced because he was getting his roof fixed and he came home early one day and found his wife in bed with the roofer! That's messed up. I can tell you he hasn't been the same since.

Marriage relationships are so different than they were 30 years ago. The women's movement fought against the men who were treating their women like submissive yes-women. In reality, it was an open decision by most. Society brought us into a new reality.

Personally, I'm glad women have the freedom and self-image strength to be who they are today. If you notice though, men have less freedom and self-image than ever before.

It seems that men today are paying the debt that our forefathers loaned out. I guarantee more men say, "I'm sorry" today than they did 30 years ago. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, but it would be nice to think that women say, "I'm sorry" the same amount of times, but it just isn't so.

The men of the 21st century will pay the dues for the men of the 50's, 60's and 70's for time to come.

I think we're fine with it. If women want to know us better they should grasp the concept.

Side Note.....I'm sure my wife would be pissed at this blog, but she knows I've been writing it all week and she still hasn't read it. I'm sure the only way she'll read this one is if someone points it out to her. But it doesn't really bother me, because I love her for who she is and reading my shit isn't it.

Bye Bye T.O.

2009-03-06T10:37:00.000-06:00

I keep thinking about Terrell Owens. Is it his fault the media circus that surrounds him and his every word make him feel as if he is bigger than the game? Is it just because he's an idiot with a lot of talent? Is it because he is so arrogant he feels he is invincible and need not follow rules or listen to coaches? What I do know is he out of a job. From what the experts(?) say, it looks like Oakland and Al Davis is a likely match. Yeah, right...match made in hell. Let's see how he reacts to playing for a garbage team instead of the winning teams he is used to playing with. Playing for the Raiders shut Randy Moss up, let's see what happens with Owens.

The Cowboys lost money on the deal too. They literally paid Owens to go away. Millions of dollars. Jerry Jones felt the team would be better off not having a hall of fame caliber wide receiver on the field. If you pause and give that thought, it is amazing. Owens was such a distraction, such an ego maniac that his team just wanted him to dissappear. I wonder if Owens has given this any thought.

If you were to peruse the Cowboys offensive stats last year you would find that the offense revolved around Owens. With the talent they possess on the offensive side of the ball, focusing on a 35 year old wide receiver on the decline talentwise is a huge mistake. This team has one of the best running backs, one of the best quarterbacks and one of the best tight ends in the league.

Even so, when things weren't going well offensively, Owens would pout on the sidelines and scream at coaches. I wonder what the tape sessions on Mondays were like? The tape never lies.

I guess the thing that blows me away is someone will pay a ton of money to get this pain in the ass on their team. Owens knows it. His cocky comments on his website are enough to tell all of us this. He's excited for next season. Someone will sign him and he'll promise to be good. But whenever a guy like him plays well the mouth gets in gear. Think about it, we didn't hear spit from Chad Johnson last year as he suffered through a painful season.

Every sport needs characters and the NFL has their share.

I think the thing I'm having the biggest struggle with through this Owens saga today is that I can't believe I actually agree with a move Jerry Jones made!

Why Rush Fuss?

2009-03-05T00:36:00.001-06:00

I just don't get it. But then again maybe I should. Radio is a completely different world than the one we all know. It truly must be experienced to be understood. I was a theatre major in college and one of the problems I found with all the students in "theatre world" was that if you were any good, you were a good liar. Think about it, actors are nothing more than terrific liars. They become and portray a completely different person. Their sole effort is to make you, the audience believe they are someone other than themselves. As an actor you can get so good at it you can use it to your advantage. The problem lies in deciphoring the truth from the lies. Rush Limbaugh is an entertainer. Having to talk into a microphone for 4 straight hours is a daunting task to say the least. You must have an endless supply of energy and a solid script. If not, noone will listen. As a producer and programmer one of the most difficult tasks was to get through to the talent that what they, the talent wanted to talk about was not what was most beneficial to them or their ratings(let alone the radio station).

Get this straight...entertainers are liars....no matter how much you relate to them or believe in what they are saying, they are meerly playing a part. A part in which you will become attached.

I'm not saying that entertainers are bad people. I'm saying they are doing their job. Their job is to get you hooked. Get you to stay with them throught the onslaught of commercials and money making schemes that hover around every broadcast you view or hear. The good ones understand the people and use it to their advantage.

I have never met a radio personality who was the same person in the hallway that he or she was on the air. It just simply isn't possible. Noone could carry the same amount of energy it takes to perform a radio show into their normal life, noone would be able to stand...let alone keep it up for 24/7.

I also have never met a good radio personality who wasn't insecure. They fret about whether listeners like them at all times of the day. It is what they live for. To be loved. The insecurity is what fuels them to perform day in and day out at a level that is

acceptable to their fragile existance.

Get this straight...entertainers are liars....no matter how much you relate to them or believe in what they are saying, they are meerly playing a part. A part in which you will become attached.

I'm not saying that entertainers are bad people. I'm saying they are doing their job. Their job is to get you hooked. Get you to stay with them throught the onslaught of commercials and money making schemes that hover around every broadcast you view or hear. The good ones understand the people and use it to their advantage.

I have never met a radio personality who was the same person in the hallway that he or she was on the air. It just simply isn't possible. Noone could carry the same amount of energy it takes to perform a radio show into their normal life, noone would be able to stand it...let alone keep it up for 24/7.

I also have never met a good radio personality who wasn't insecure. They fret about whether listeners like them at all times of the day. It is what they live for. To be loved. The insecurity is what fuels them to perform day in and day out at a level that is acceptable to their fragile existance.

Now that you have the proper backround it is time to take Limbaugh in perspective. He doesn't care about our country. He doesn't care about what is best for you or me or anyone in the country....all he cares about is ratings. He could be a guy who has voted for a democrat for president his whole life for all we know. Because really...we don't know. This is a radio personality. All he cares about is ratings. It has nothing to do with right or wrong. It has nothing to do about what the American people feel. This is meerly a sophomoric television wanna-be. Most radio people are. The fact that Republicans listen to the garbage this man spews and believe it make them similar to evangilists who spew whatever it is they spew.

The problem lies in the fact that President Obama and the like give this radio icon his due...he has no due. He only cares about ratings. If he didn't he would be like every other radio personality wondering "what went wrong?". Limbaugh preps for his show every day and says to his producers, "what will bring us ratings today?" He certainly does't ask, "what will be the best for the country today". Get a grip America. This radio duesch bag is nothing more than a radio duesch bag.

Everyone needs to stop thinking that this wind bag on the radio cares about anything more than his paycheck. All of us who have spent time in the radio business know that the most important object to the people in control is their paycheck.

The worst thing anyone could do is give this guy attention. Stop listening....you are pawns. Stop thinking he is a voice of anything other than his own wants/needs. Start thinking for yourself. Even if you agree with him, it's fine...just don't come up with the idea because he told you to.

Remember. Radio personalities don't give a shit about you. All they care about is that you listen, buy their products and follow them to the promised land.

In radio one rule holds true...."always protect your paycheck".....that's what Limbaugh is doing...and his check is pretty big!

The First TommyBlog.....OMG!!

2009-03-03T21:53:00.000-06:00

Check this out....my own blog-site. I know you're saying, "it's about time". Well with the pushing of my friend Rick, I have finally made the plunge into blog-dom. I must say it feels wierd and quite frankly I have no idea how it will look. I'm sure at some point I will put up some links and such for you all to check out. Until that time, I will use this arena to spew my thoughts. Whether you agree or disagree, I am glad you took the time to check it out. Let's see if I can make it worth your while.....let alone mine.

My first thought is about Facebook. Wow, what a freak show that is. I just figured out some of the ins and outs of it and I can't believe how trippy it is. In just two days I have talked to people from my past of 25 years! My friend Ted had pictures of me from the early 80's on his....whatever it is you have on Facebook. I only found out about this because when I logged on last nite, my best friend in the world, Billy who lives in Michigan was online of the Facebook and told me to look it up.

I didn't know what I was doing being a newbie to Facebook, but Billy walked me through it via Facebook's IM system. I must admit it was friggin awesome. In the last 36 hours I have talked via the Facebook system to some people I haven't even thought about for years! Not only that, but I was connected to people I worked with in previous years that were very close to me. If you give it some thought....people you work with are people you spend time with for at the very least 40 hours a week. How many hours a week do you spend with your spouse a week? What happens when you leave a job? You leave all those people behind, like they never meant anything to you during the time you spent at that job. And they do the same. It's messed up.

I had a close friend in college. We were the closest of friends for two years. As the time was coming close that we were going to go separate ways due to graduation(or just leaving school because the funds from Pop ran out as was my case) he said to me, "its been fun, but I'm sure we'll never see each other again....that's the way it is with friends...they come and go". I've never talked with him since. I hope I find him on Facebook because we were so close. I'm pissed at him because he was right.

I sometimes think of all the friends I've had like him(his name was Phil) through the workplace. You spend so much time with the people you work with. You are forced into being teammates. You do everything you can to do your best and not hate your job. You are put into a situation where you must rely on people you don't even know or barely trust, but you have to work together.

If you think about it, that is the kind of people you choose to have as your friends. But when the work ends, so does the friendship, the comaraderie and the bond that was built from working together for at least 40 hours a week. Our friends from high school and college could screw us over and we would forgive them in a second, but when it comes to the people you work with the screwing over could mess up your life for years.

I remember being pissed at my good friend Bobby for something I couldn't even dream of remembering today.......I confided in my friend Billy....I said Bobby really screwed me over and Billy said, "Tommy, if you can't shit on your friends who can you shit on?" Sometimes the meaning of being a friend is being there to be shit on. Everyone needs to shit on someone now and again. I remember thinking...I hate it, but he's right.

At work it doesn't work that way. There's money involved. Workmates may love you, but ultimately they are working for dollars. If you lose your job, they will most likely move up on the pay scale. After all, if a spot is eliminated everyone has a chance to move up. Especially in the payscale world. It's horrible that I think that way, but it's true. Sometimes I wish it wasn't true but I know it is.

The bottom line is this....no matter how much you care about someone you work with...no matter how much you do to help them with their career....when it comes down to you or them they will always choose them....it's the way of the world. Your true friends are those who have nothing to win or lose by being your friend and they still are.....Billy and Bobby are my boys!!

This is the first installment of many more to come....check back every day....I have way too much to spew! I will be writing on this site every day.

Peace,
Tommy